Staying on the Same Team with My Hubby

I dug this text out of the archives today and reread it. And it was exactly what I needed to hear. ? (Good thing I have such wise friends.?)

My hubby is a very-hardworking guy and he currently is in a really busy stretch at work. I’ve had to carry much of the load for us both as well as much of the other tasks for the last 30 days by myself. It’s been challenging, I won’t lie.

But the hardest part has been making sure we stay connected and on the same page in this crazy stretch. And if I’m honest, my biggest challenge has been not letting resentment grow when it feels at times like he’s choosing work over me and my girls. But I’m learning the minute I entertain those grievances instead of giving him the benefit of the doubt, a seed of resentment begins to grow and I completely forget we are on the same team.

But let’s be real, when there are layers of emotions in marriage (which are in all marriages?), fighting to stay on the same team sometimes feels like a ton of work. And maybe at times a little hopeless because you don’t know where to begin again.

As I’ve prayed about this so so much this last month, I am realizing how much the enemy wants to keep us divided. To stay annoyed. To give the silent treatment. To say strong words. To not engage so I’m not disappointed. ?

But as I’m tuning my ear ? into what God wants for my marriage, I hear words like peace, patience, kindness, gentleness, self control…you know, things of the Spirit. This doesn’t mean we turn a blind eye or don’t speak up when it’s needed. This doesn’t mean we don’t get professional advice to help us navigate the layers…

But I am learning that what this means is asking God to fill me with His Spirit, and that He would draw me closer to my hubby and to Him. And that my words would build him up and my heart, tone, and body language would match. ? And when that doesn’t happen, that I would apologize with a sincere heart. Sometimes all it takes is a little humility to get the ball back in the game. ?

This is a loaded topic and our heart on our blog is that we tell the truth but do it in a God and husband honoring way. And at the end of the day, we can only take charge of our own responses. And I know for a fact that God will heap grace upon us as we ask for His help and strength. ?

I do want to take a moment to say that although there are moments I’ve felt like a single parent, I recognize I am not…but I know some of you rockstar mamas are. ❤️ Please know we see you and are saying an extra prayer of grace for you in this season. ? You really do rock!!!

So all of this to say – let’s ask God tonight: what step can I take to help my hubby and I stay on the same team?

To read the text convo, “Whose Side Are You On?” ?

Right there with you ~ Michelle

About Michelle Warner

The truth about me is that I love spending time with people–whether it be with moms in MOPS, students in writing camps, friends in my supper club, or family on our patio. And if you combine people and words, I am definitely in my happy place. One of my most favorite moments is sitting around a table with the people I love sharing deep conversations about life. Inviting people into our home and pulling out my fancy dishes invigorates me, though tackling the hand-wash pile in my sink does quite the opposite. (Sorry, Hubby. I’ll get to those soon!) I’m learning to enjoy the people in my life without feeling the need to prove myself or always make them happy. God continues to teach me that when I find what I need in Him rather than the perfectly-cooked chicken or the perfectly-timed word, I have a security that can’t be shaken. And that’s a good thing since my hard-working husband and I have two very determined little girls who keep us on our toes!