Cupcake Comfort

Jen

Ugh, I’ve had one of those “eat-your-feelings” type of mornings. I hate that. My lunch just now consisted primarily of defrosted carrot cake. 😬

Virginia

Haha, I’m sorry. Trust me, you’re not alone! I have had too many of those mornings, although mine usually happen at night.

Jen

Why do I do that?!? Who am I kidding, I know why – I’m exhausted, I’m stressed, and I figure, “Might as well have something enjoyable thrown into this mix!” Though I don’t so much enjoy the stomach ache afterwards. 😕

Virginia

I hear you! I tell myself I deserve it after the day I’ve had because I usually stress eat! A cupcake is a little like a hug, except with a lot more calories.

Jen

Ha! Yeah, it doesn’t love me back in quite the same way 😉. Have you found anything that works for you in those moments?

Virginia

Last summer I did a Bible study with a book called “Truly Fed,” by Gari Meacham. One strategy the author recommends is to say, “I don’t do that anymore.” It helps me to move forward and become the person with habits I want to have, and leave others in the past.

Jen

Ooooh, I love that. I just (finally!) read “Girl, Wash Your Face,” by Rachel Hollis, and she had a chapter in her book on eating, too. She calls it a “coping mechanism” for whatever you’re avoiding/masking underneath. I totally do this (and knowingly so) habitually!

Virginia

Oh yeah, that book is hilarious! I love her honesty. I have willingly dove into the cookie jar, and other times it’s been mindless eating, and before I know it the container is empty and I’m feeling the shame. It’s so easy to do, though. I don’t want to feel those yucky feelings!

Jen

I’m right there with you. If turning to food for a million reasons other than being truly hungry is a habit we’ve developed over the years, then we probably need to give ourselves a little grace when it comes to breaking the cycle – but it’s so hard to do!
And I feel so guilty😔. I mean, I’m supposed to be taking care of this body God gave me, right?!

Virginia

I know. I eat because I feel so out of control in everything (though I know my trigger is stress from feeling out of control in parenting) and so I can control what I put in my body. But what I’m putting in or how much isn’t honoring to God.

Jen

I was reading the book, “The Collapse of Parenting,” by Leonard Sax recently, too (if you can’t tell, reading is one of my healthier escape alternatives!) and he talked a lot about self-control, and how it was the single biggest factor in children that correlated to overall happiness later in life🙄.
That kind of stopped me in my tracks. How can I expect my kids to learn and implement self-control if every time I have an awful day it’s “every snack for themselves”?

Virginia

😂 I get that! That’s why I sneak snacks after the kids go to bed or are napping.

Jen

Guilty!😬

Virginia

I know it’s not a good example for them. Actually, the reverse has kind of become one of my strategies. I purposely eat in front of my husband because hiding is a bad habit and it offers some accountability for me.

Jen

I’ve done that. It’s a great strategy and kind of ironic, too, because all we want to do is honor Him in our everyday lives and be good examples to our children of living for Him – and He’s the one we can never truly hide from! He sees that hand in the cookie jar. 😳

Virginia

Yeah, that’s true. Humans have been hiding since Adam and Eve. What can we do instead?
Another thing I’ve tried is just stopping to check my body’s signals. Sometimes I literally put my hand on my stomach and ask myself, ”Am I really hungry, or am I just angry or bored?”
Just the awareness has helped make a big difference in my eating habits – which has increased my self confidence. God has given us a spirit of self control! It’s like I’m tapping into that when I “check myself before I wreck myself.” 😆

Jen

Yes! For me, I am so much more successful at finding the willingness to dig down deep (into the hard stuff) if I’m honoring my body. I love to run, and listening to pump-up music is like an added inspirational bonus! I’ve also been working really, really hard to go to bed earlier. I crave that quiet time after the kids go to bed.

Virginia

Oh yes, sleep has such an impact. I go to bed late and combined with the stress, I can easily cave. It is hard to trade alone time for sleep but pretty important! Good job, Jen!

Jen

In a way, it’s almost spiritual. When I’m running my head clears and it’s like prayer time, too. I think by working to better ourselves, we are honoring Him – no matter how many times we slip up.

Virginia

How do you find the time? I always find an excuse.

Jen

I have never been a natural long distance runner. When God gave me this body He also gave me little, stubby legs 😂🏃‍. But I literally squeeze in time to run even just 1 mile, a few times a week – takes maybe only a half an hour – and I feel like a whole new person! I’ve learned to plan ahead with my husband for that time to make sure I get it in. And my boys see it, too. One of them just started asking if he could run with me!

Virginia

It reminds me that we need to ask for help when we’re struggling with an issue. I would no doubt be a less stressed mom if I ate in an honorable way and reorganized my schedule to exercise, even just a mile! Because, seriously, my kids need a whole new person now that we’re together all.the.time. 😜

Jen

Oh, man, do I hear you there. For me, transitions are always the hardest. I have to remind myself that whatever’s hard in the moment isn’t always a bad thing. The hard times remind us to rely on Him – and that’s what I want my kids to see.

Virginia

I really did well with the Bible study but I’ve slipped up a few times since then. But there’s no use dwelling on my mistake. I know this is an area that I have a particular weakness, but I’m going to “wash my face” 😉and keep going. It’s so freeing! That’s why I encourage women who struggle in this area to really read that book and jump in to tackle it. Don’t accept sin as part of your identity!

Jen

Absolutely! It can be so frustrating to have to battle the same issue again and again. I can’t help but think, “Aren’t we over this one yet, God? I thought I dealt with all of that. Am I just not strong enough?”
But maybe he’s reminding me of this challenge again and again because there’s something deeper I haven’t yet figured out, or He’s still using it to help me as I teach my own children. I know that I can use it, that I should use it – which is kind of a gift in and of itself.

I’m sure there are a lot of tired Mamas out there stuck on the merry-go-round with us, wondering when they can finally get off!

Virginia

Yes, I was one of them! But maybe we’re not meant to get off. Maybe we’re just called to adjust our perspective a little, to notice the other people on the ride who we can help keep upright (and will help us do the same), and to not be too hard on ourselves when we fall off the ride from time to time, to be that person for others.

Jen

We want to teach our kids self-control, to persevere through temptation and challenge, to rely on Him, right?
Maybe He’s given us the perfect vehicle…

Soaking in the Truth

Scripture to encourage you:

  • “For it is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened by a yoke of slavery” (Galatians 5:1).
  • “No temptation has overtaken you but such as is common to man; and God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will provide a way of escape also, that you may be able to endure it: (1 Corinthians 10-13).
  • “I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect” (Romans 12: 1-2, ESV).
  • “My Grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness” (2 Corinthians 12:9).

Music to inspire you:

Readings and Resources to come alongside of you:

Related Posts on Texting The Truth:

Living Out the Truth 

Ideas to try:

  • Try the idea author Gari Meacham offers in her book, “Truly Fed”. When you find yourself reaching for a snack and you’re not truly hungry, tell yourself, “I don’t do that anymore,” and find a healthier outlet. I like an activity that keeps your hands busy like a manicure (can’t shove Cheetos in your mouth with wet nail polish 😉
  • For me (Jen), I find intuitive eating to be a practice of self-control. Don’t misunderstand: Self control does not equate to depriving/dieting. Self-control for me means eating intuitively, to nourish the mind, body, and soul, so that I can carry the best version of myself into the world for Him. Self-control means facing tough emotions head-on, rather than escaping from them. In his book, “The Collapse of Parenting,” Leonard Sax says that the amount of self-control a child exhibits by age 11 is the biggest indicator of their overall happiness later in life. By modeling a healthy relationship with food, and healthy emotional response strategies, I’m setting my children up to be the best versions of themselves, too – and that’s powerful stuff!
  • Give yourself the grace to slip up, without giving up. Disordered eating is a habit learned over a long period of time. Breaking that habit down, therefore, won’t happen overnight. One foot in front of the other – we’re cheering you on, Mama!
  • Make a list of all the reasons you might reach for food when you’re not really hungry. You might already know what emotions you’re avoiding or masking, but in those moments having a tangible list to refer to can help shift the power back to you, and steel your heart.
  • Use a hunger scale like this one. It will help you determine the reason you’re eating. When you are physically hungry, eat, girl, eat! 

Treasured Products we love: 

{These suggestions are ideas from novice moms. Sometimes our life situations need more. In that case, seeking out professional help is the right call.}

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