I need coffee…
Hahaha! I need… I don’t know what I need. Coffee may not cut it this morning! I’m not sure if I’m ready to face another homeschooling, homeplaying, home-everything day!
Home-working. Home-cooking. Home home home… I’m beyond exhausted.
“The on and onness of it!” Haha — Do you remember Violet Crawley saying that in Downton Abbey?
Only one of my most favorite lines!! And yes, it does seem to go on and on right now… I mean when will we get back to “normal”?
I don’t know. I think that’s one of the hard things about it. Not knowing. It was kind-of fun at first, but now it makes me feel cooped-up… even angry at times. And out of control.
I have totally had my fair share of angry outbursts. And I’ve felt so low some days. Almost, but not quite hopeless. You know all these emotions I’ve been experiencing throughout the last few weeks, they remind me of something.
What is that?
Being a new mom.
Oh! Really?
Yes, I know that seems funny to say, but there’s a lot of overlap!
Let’s hear it!
Ok, so first let me say there were a lot of sweet moments in those first few weeks when my husband was off work and we were together trying to figure out what in the world we were doing as parents. But those were some of the most exhausting and difficult weeks! And that whole first year of adjusting to parenthood was HARD. Figuring this whole shelter in place thing out is maybe even harder.
Yeeeeesssss! Figuring out this new normal…the school stuff…the management of kids without their normal routine… I mean, plus, there’s the feeling of I-need-to-treasure-these-moments and, I do, sometimes, but other times I want to chuck something OUT THE WINDOW. ??
Or throw your kids out the window?
Umm… I wasn’t going to say that out loud but YES. And maybe their devices.
Right? It’s also like being a new mom because of all the things you start thinking about that you never even considered before!
I mean, I’ve never really been a germ-a-phobe, but now when I’m in the grocery, I wonder if someone coughed on this box of cereal?
I know, right?!? Lysol. Everything.?
And one of the biggest changes of new motherhood was that I was never alone. I didn’t realize how much this extrovert needed her space?! And I adjusted, of course, but I was just getting used to my kids being at school all day. And now bam?, everybody is home all the livelong day and there is no one to give me a break!
Yes. It’s different from summertime even, when they are still doing activities, going to the pool, going to friends’ houses… Not with this. I’m back to just wishing I could pee without being interrupted!
Exactly! I mean a little privacy please! Can’t a mom even take a shower without screaming at, I mean, talking to someone?!
And like, I feel so conflicted too. Guilty if I’m angry, or exhausted. Guilty if I don’t feel like playing one more round of Chutes and Ladders. ?
Yes… why is mom guilt so heavy right now? I mean, I am still working. Granted, very part time working, but when I say to the boys, “Ok, I need to grade my essays now,” and one of them looks up and screams, “You always have to work!” It is like a shot in the heart.
It is…And especially when you can’t even get all of your work done, and you’ve poured one-too-many bowls of cereal, trying to give yourself 10 more minutes to do your work.
Meanwhile, GUILT again, because some people are sick, and we are not. Some people are dying or have loved ones passing away. It’s this underlying thought, like “You aren’t feeling the right way.”
Totally! And that happens to new moms too who are struggling, but then remember there are moms with babies in the NICU. And you try to use that thought to rein in your whining and be grateful, but the fact still remains that you are struggling too.
Yep! I totally get the connection. How did we make it through as new moms? That seems like a LOOOONG time ago.
You know I think one thing we can do during this time is to remember, even though it was a long time ago, the best advice we got as new moms and apply it to the situation. Maybe that will give us a little perspective.
OK. Lay it on me! I need some! 🙂
Best time management advice I got as a new mom: when the baby is sleeping don’t do things that you could do when the baby is awake. The same applies here! If I can fold laundry and watch the twins complete a math assignment, then I should do that.
So good. So, like, taking a bath and reading a book might be good to do after the kids’ bedtime. OK.
I’ve got one. All of the feelings you are feeling are NORMAL. All of them. And none of them are wrong.
That is the best advice. And we have all been there and we have all had those emotions to one degree or another. It’s so nice to know that in this situation all our emotions are normal too.
Yep. So have a good cry in the bathroom with your Cadbury Egg. It’s okay.
Thank goodness for the Cadbury Egg, I mean really. Thank You God for the grace of Easter candy in the middle of a pandemic. Can I have one with my coffee?
Yup. And I think, let’s lower the expectations a bit. Or a lot. I heard this the other day: Take your to-do list and expectations for the day and cut it in half. Now cut it in half again. Now you’ve got an okay list.
And even if you don’t get that list done, guess what? You’re still a mom tomorrow. His grace is still sufficient in this new normal.
His mercies are new every morning!!!
And those new mercies go very nicely with coffee and a Cadbury Egg!
Soaking in the Truth
Scripture to encourage you: Read the Bible… Anywhere, any time you get!
Music to inspire you: Seriously almost any Christian Song applies to this! Just listen to worship music whenever possible. Put it on in the background of your life.
Readings and Resources to come alongside of you: Don’t try to find them…. Just read the Bible. As all pediatricians tell new moms: Stop Googling it, mom!
Living Out the Truth
Just keep Praying, just keep praying… Just keep praying, praying, praying.?