Category Archives: Mom Guilt

Mommy Merit Badges

Well, Mamas, we are in the home stretch. Hopefully, homeschooling is coming to a close and you’re seeing a bright spot of relief as we head into summer break. You’ve accomplished so much! 

 

Can you take a moment to celebrate all that you’ve been able to do the past couple of months? Sometimes I can get bogged down with regrets and missteps. “I should have read with him more.” “I should have made her complete more writing assignments.” “I should have had a better attitude about being my child’s teacher.” 

 

Girlfriend, it’s time to ditch the “should’ve’s.” Insert your name in this statement: “I, ______,  am very proud of myself because I have ________ while also _______ and even______! I am a good mom.” 

 

Not convinced? Cue the flashback sequence…

 

Remember when you were in Girl Scouts? You had that forest green polyester sash and you couldn’t wait to adorn it with those scratchy patches. I haven’t even glanced at a Girl Scout Cookie order form in decades — I truly have no self control when it comes to Samoas! But have you checked the Girl Scouts’ site recently? There are so many updated achievement badges!

 

Check out this handy list to see what badges you’ve earned in Motherhood. (Note: The badge names and my respect for the Girl Scouts of America are real. The descriptions are not.)

 

You have changed the shavings in the hamster cage in your son’s room or fed a frozen mouse to an extremely large reptile: Animal Habitats Badge!

 

You’ve spent half of your waking hours of the day simply keeping your kids from endangering themselves: Safety Award!

 

You just scored some summer hand-me-downs from another mom friend: Savvy Shopper Badge!

 

You walked around the entire first floor of your house among dozens of toys without injuring yourself: Trail Adventure Badge!

 

That time you ascended an indoor playground twisty slide to bring your toddler back down to solid ground: Climbing Adventure Badge!

 

Your back hurts from sleeping on a pile of pillows while sleep training your toddler in his room: Camper Badge!

 

You took less than 25 snapshots to get a decent family photo: Digital Photographer Badge!

 

You effectively reduced screen time while homeschooling: Entertainment Technology Badge!

 

You attempted to sketch a dog but your child pointed out, “That looks like a horse, Mom,”: Drawing Badge!

 

You found your keys and wallet again: Geocacher Badge!

 

You know where that fine line exists between kissing the boo-boo and calling for an ambulance: First Aid Badge! 

 

That sweet baby called forth all of your musical and vocal skills to FINALLY be put to sleep: Musician Badge!

 

You just prepared grilled cheese cut into triangles for your daughter and rectangles for her older sister: Simple Meals Badge!

 

You brought yourself to the edge of your sanity by hosting a sleepover with ten 11-year-olds: Social Butterfly Badge!

 

You just figured out Facebook Messenger Kids about 5 minutes ago and you already changed the password twice: Cybersecurity Basics Badge!

 

Someone is not telling the truth, and the wall didn’t write it on itself, and the dog doesn’t have opposable thumbs: Detective Badge!

 

Someone’s got to turn on the Roomba: Programming Robotics Badge!

 

When you catch yourself rehearsing your regrets, take a moment and remember this encouraging verse from Psalm 139:14 NIV: “I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.”

 

Because these sentences are close together, I take that God’s personal Hand in creating us is an example of His Wonderful Works. That’s great news! You were made with and for a purpose! It’s time to pin on your own Mommy Merit Badge or two (or all of them), because you deserve it! 

~Virginia

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More Than Butterflies and Blooms

In this week’s post, Cupcake Comfort, Jen and Virginia break down how hard it is to maintain self-control when we want to stuff our emotions with food. My path with this is dark and treacherous, so I am right there with them. They write, “It can be so frustrating to have to battle the same issue again and again. I can’t help but think, ‘Aren’t we over this one yet, God? I thought I dealt with all of that. Am I just not strong enough?’” ?‍♀️ Why do we put pressure to strong-arm ourselves into self-control at all times? Spoiler alert: we can’t.

The world likes to oversimplify this tricky business. Has anyone else noticed how most metaphors for weight loss, fitness, and diet have to do with some kind of big finish: the caterpillar turns into a butterfly, the ugly duckling morphs into a swan, or the seed sprouts ? into a beautiful bloom??‍♀️ The bloom, the swan, and the butterfly all symbolize these precious products, but they are not human. The human body’s journey is ever-more complex; a mother’s body is it’s own beautiful sojourn. Mamas, what if we stopped comparing our human bodies to butterflies and blooms?? ? 

I am truly not strong enough to maintain self control 100% of the time, because (unlike seeds and caterpillars) I experience anxiety.? I spiral out of control and back into the deeper emotional parts that render me elbow deep in a party size bag of Doritos. I need a good cry sometimes, and Carrie Underwood was right: I cannot cry pretty either. But, I also believe He is strong ? when we are weak, and we are all in this together as we learn to love ourselves unconditionally. When I start eating feelings, there are times I can catch myself and pray right in the middle of my binge. It helps me stop before I get deep in the dark place. Sometimes I have to pray the verse Hebrews 12:1-3 out loud. If I can’t Google it exactly, I repeat the phrases “Throw off this sin that so easily entangles” and “Fix your eyes on Jesus.”   

Mamas, I had to seek medical and emotional professional help in 2017 to make real change with my health, so I do not want anyone reading this post to think I was able to just pray my way to my best self. I also want to tell you this — I have lost 110 pounds and now I’ve uncovered a whole deeper layer of control issues in my heart. See? Not. A. Butterfly.??‍??‍♀️  All that being said, I am still OUT THERE this summer in my swimmy, because I am not going to waste one more moment wallowing in my insecurity when there are sand castles to be built, snacks to be handed out, and floats to spin and splash around in with my son and hubby. I pray you don’t miss out on any moments in the sun, Mamas.☀️ You are beautiful and fully loved. ?Jo

PS: The last part of the NIV version of that verse talks about how Jesus endured opposition and scorned shame. The shame is the hardest part for me, but I want to scorn it — Jesus didn’t go to the cross just for me to walk around as a Debbie Downer Christian.? I pray we can endure opposition to our goals, so we can be healthy examples for our kids and confident for our husbands.