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Leaving a Legacy

As I reflect on motherhood, I can’t help but remember my own childhood. It was rather idyllic and mostly happy. My parents did their best to give my sister and I the opportunity to “turn out right.” And today is my dad’s birthday. He would’ve been 64. He probably would have gray hair and wrinkles. Only he’s frozen in my mind at 49, dark hair and laughing eyes. The way he looked when he went to heaven almost 15 years ago. 

He profoundly influenced my life, the way I think and the way I look at the world around me. It got me thinking– what kind of legacy am I going to leave for my children when I am gone? My dad’s legacy was a good one. A godly one. One I am thankful for as I raise my own kids. He wasn’t perfect. No legacy is perfect. I remember my dad apologizing to our family when he lost his temper or was impatient from time to time. But in that, he showed us how to own our mistakes and ask for forgiveness. Even in failure, he was teaching us good things. 

But how do I leave behind sweet memories and a good heritage? A legacy is built one moment, one word, one adventure at a time. And like it or not, a legacy is inevitable. I’ll either leave a good one or a bad one. 

I think the legacy my dad left (and the same one I want to leave for my kids) comes down to two things– loving God and loving people. If I can do those two things, I’ve nailed it. Of course, no one can love God and love people perfectly, but I have to start somewhere.

The Bible goes so far as to tell me to love God with my whole heart, soul and mind. Is that even possible? Yes, I think so. Otherwise God wouldn’t have told us to do it. When my kids exclaim, “I can’t…” I always remind them that I will never ask them to do something they cannot do. I think God is the same way. He doesn’t ask me to do something that He won’t give me the strength to accomplish. 

I’m also called to love others as I love myself. But sometimes I can’t even figure out how to go a week without losing my cool with one of my own kids!! How am I supposed to love the whole world?! 

What if I begin to love my husband and my children with a supernatural love? Forgiving them, showing them grace, extending patience, giving them the gift of my time and attention. That’s a pretty good place to start. One good thing at a time. And sometimes, I’ll mess up. But that’s ok. God’s grace is bigger than my mistakes. His love can cover a whole lot of my mess- ups. And someday, my kids will hopefully be handed the legacy of a mom who loved God and loved people to the best of her ability, one moment at a time. 

?Janelle

Scripture to encourage you:

  • “And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.” (II Corinthians‬ ‭12:9‬) ‭
  • “Jesus said to him, “ ‘You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.’ This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like it: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’” (‭‭Matthew‬ ‭22:37-39)

Music to inspire you:

Boundaries: 2020 Edition

Anna
Anna

Help!!! Can you talk? 

Anna
Virginia

Yes! What’s wrong?

Anna
Anna

Everything feels like a huge mess.

Anna
Virginia

Awww. I feel you! It’s such a weird time.

Anna
Anna

I’m so overwhelmed. I feel like I’m in a game of elementary school Dodge Ball and I can’t get out of the way fast enough. I keep getting hit and I just want the game to end already. I thought after 6 weeks of the kids being in school that this stressful feeling would be gone.

Anna
Virginia

Same, girl, same! Yeah, it sounds like more than just everyday stress.

Anna
Anna

Right. And I think in an effort to feel better, or “normal,” I’ve been looking to the wrong things for comfort (ahem, one more sweet coffee drink, please?)… but it never really fixes this feeling. ?

Anna
Virginia

Me too… I’ve so been there! I’ve eaten soo many Hershey Kisses…?so many metallic wrappers….and you’re right, it wasn’t enough. I think the issue is that we’re seeking information, which isn’t bad, but we’re absorbing it all, whether that’s the news or social media or our friends’ and families’ advice. I need walls to keep all that stuff from coming in and affecting me. Boundaries, basically. 

Anna
Anna

Hmm, that makes sense… letting too much in. I feel like I’m constantly being hit with all of the divisive issues right now, pressure to take sides, and disturbing information that I may or may not be able to trust — it’s there around every corner. 

Anna
Virginia

Yeah, exactly. There’s no resting place. I was finding that I was getting really restless, losing sleep, not feeling productive or connected to people, or God even. I was letting the world’s anxiety affect my inner peace. 

Anna
Anna

The world’s anxiety! ? That’s what I’ve been doing. And add to it our everyday “normal” problems, that are still there! Hmm… Remember that children’s song, “Be Careful Little Eyes, What You See?” ? Maybe we actually could start being careful about what we see and hear.

Anna
Virginia

I know that one. Kids’ songs offer the most wisdom.? But seriously — I think it’s true! I’m trying to notice what threatens my peace. I need to stop looking at and taking it ALL in.

Anna
Anna

Yes! And as we start to put some boundaries up for ourselves, we can trust God will help us find the peace we’re looking for. 

Anna
Virginia

Right. We can’t fix the world but we can put up some shields so we’re not constantly hit with all of the “dodgeballs” of life.

Scripture to Encourage You:

  • “But, Lord, you are my shield, my wonderful God who gives me courage.” (Psalm 3:3 NCV)
  • “Every word of God is flawless; he is a shield to those who take refuge in him.” (Proverbs 30:5 NIV)
  • “For the Lord gives wisdom; from his mouth come knowledge and understanding. He holds success in store for the upright, he is a shield to those whose walk is blameless, for he guards the course of the just and protects the way of his faithful ones.” (Proverbs 2:-6-8 NIV)
  • “My son, do not let wisdom and understanding out of your sight, preserve sound judgement and discretion; they will be life for you, an ornament to grace your neck.” (Proverbs 3:21 NIV)
  • “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” (Proverbs 4:23 NIV)

Reading and Resources to Come Alongside You:

Music to Inspire You:

Ideas to Try:

  • Pre-arrange a calming activity if you wake up in the middle of the night and can’t sleep instead of staring at your phone. I (Virginia) recommend “Meditation Minis” — a podcast that offers directed meditations lasting about 10 minutes. 
  • Examine your nighttime routine. Find and replace a depleting activity (reading negative comments on social media) and replace it with an encouraging activity (regularly checking in on textingthetruth.com) or the fun of a DIY pedicure.
  • Examine your morning routine: What can you prepare the night before to reduce your stress? What can you delegate? I (Virginia) have my son make his own lunch; it has been glorious. 
  • On the subject of time management, another piece of advice I’m implementing is from “The Lazy Genius” Podcast. The principle is to examine your day. What tasks can you only do when you’re alone? What tasks can you do while the kids are home? For example, I can’t do focused writing when my kids are home. I can, however, do the dishes while they watch TV. Sometimes my kids and I spend time outside on the driveway: they ride their bikes and I fold the laundry. This principle reduces stress for me because it helps me prioritize my tasks throughout my day. 
  • Delete or rein in those time wasters on your phone – set up a designated time limit. You won’t regret it. 
  • Make time for your passions. What is calming to you? Reading, writing, listening to music and decluttering are things that I enjoy doing. This is not self-care talk. This is “essential to feed your soul and get out of your own head” stuff. 

*Note: The Texting the Truth team is all about grace for moms. No one expects you to do more or be more. More importantly, God does not expect you to try harder. He is readily available with the wisdom, grace and peace that you need. We’re here to offer practical suggestions. Use what works for you and leave the rest.