Tag Archives: rest

Dream Big, Hope for More, and Don’t Settle

We just got back from an epic family vacation: twelve states later, there we were in our Honda CRV with a bike rack, seven year old son, five toads, one turtle, one dog, and our marriage intact. If that does not inspire a hallelujah, I am not sure what would. We saw Maine, Cape Cod, D.C., and Virginia. Most of all, we saw each other without the obligations of a daily grind or schedule or chores. 

Seventeen months after the lockdown started, I wonder if you’ve been able to have a good rest too. And what’s more: How are your hearts? After a year of Corona plus societal upheaval and more…is your marriage alright? How are the kids? As moms, are we finally coming up for air or simply surviving? Summer is when I allow myself to breathe as a working mom; I know other moms breathe more in fall, but I think it’s so important to take these breaths whenever they come. In July, I am able to slow down and savor moments with my son. I reflect with a cold drink, my toes in the sand, and a book in my hand: a good beach read, to be specific. (Must be fiction and not too complex. Full stop.)

In deeper news, connections with church and true-blue friends seem better than pre-Covid times.  I can’t help but feel that this is all part of God’s plan. He had to take us down to the basics to build us back stronger. If we allowed it, He was pruning us during the past year and a half.  Looking back, I soldiered through the Spring-Fall of 2020, but Winter really pruned me hard. Has this been the same for you?  

In January 2021, I could not settle on a resolution or even a word to carry into the new year, but our pastor helped the congregation and in turn, me, as she laid out business-card-sized “star words” (think North Star guiding the 3 kings). My word was EXAMINE. And boy, did I need to examine myself. I dug deeper into the pieces where the Psalmist cried,  “Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.” I needed hope that God had blessings and room for me, even when I could not predict the outcomes.

Have you ever heard the wives tale of grabbing the brass rings on a carousel? While on a short ferry ride over to Martha’s Vineyard, we got to visit the “Flying Horses” (oldest carousel in the USA). Usually there was just one brass ring in old-timey carousels, and the child who grabbed it would get a prize such as a free ride or a stuffed animal. This one was different… If you rode a horse on the inner circle, you could grab for rings each time the carousel passed and collect them on a special metal spike coming out of each horse’s mane.  I went into the ride with Holden Caulfield vibes from Catcher in the Rye… but then noticed that everyone was collecting rings not to keep but to give to a girl with special needs on the carousel. Yes, they enjoyed grabbing the rings, but they also felt great giving them to someone who might benefit from them more. Are you catching this metaphor? 

There was more joy in the journey around the bend and grabbing the ring itself than what happened next…in the end, all the rings end up in the return chute and only one person gets the free ride, but everyone…everyone…had the chance to ride that inner circle and grab those rings. Such hope is free to everyone, if you choose to hold on to faith as tight as a horse’s reins. 

What’s more: God is faithful, even still. Whether or not we get the “prize” at the end of whatever carousel we might be on right now: work stuff, child rearing, romance, weight loss, you name it… He is for us. He has been there to hear my cries and dry my tears. Like Proverbs 4, God has been helping me, guiding me, almost audibly reminding me: “Make your eyes look forward; fix your gaze straight ahead. Carefully consider the path for your feet, and all your ways will be established.”

As moms, we have to pour out our love even when we feel empty; even when our faith is small and our hope seems scarce; even when we want to look away, down, or just a different direction than straight ahead. But for those of us who have been called to His purpose, take heart and remember Romans 8:28…“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him.”  

While we turn the corner into the second half of 2021 and summer gives way to fall, let us pray: 

Lord, please show us how to best examine ourselves & cleanse our souls so we can grab onto hope. Help us remain as faithful as You are to us.  Help us pour out love with eyes as clear and bright as a kid on a carousel. In Jesus’ name. Amen. 

Love, 

Jo

Soaking in the Truth 

Scripture to encourage you:

  • “You hem me in behind and before, and you lay your hand upon me.” (Psalm 139:5, NIV)
  • “Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.” (Psalm 139:23-24, NIV) 
  • “Examine yourselves to see whether you are in the faith; test yourselves.” (2 Corinthians 13:5-6, NIV) 
  • “Guard your heart above all else, for it is the source of life.  Don’t let your mouth speak dishonestly, and don’t let your lips talk deviously.  Let your eyes look forward; fix your gaze straight ahead.  Carefully consider the path for your feet, and all your ways will be established.  Don’t turn to the right or to the left; keep your feet away from evil.” (Proverbs 4:23-27, NIV)
  • “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him who have been called according to His purpose.” (Romans 8:28, NIV)

Music to inspire you:

Living Out the Truth 

Ideas to try… Practically speaking, here are my best tips. 

  • Just add water this summer: 
    • Put on your bathing suit, remove your cover up, and get in the water with your kids, your spouse, or even on your own. 
    • Have a good cry and let everyone in your life do the same. 
    • Drink water during the day and enjoy a fun beverage in the evening too! Maybe that’s beer or wine or a nice cup of tea, but it is all needed in my humble opinion.  
  • Dream big, hope for more, and do not settle. I do not think we hear that enough. It’s okay to grab the brass rings. 
  • Sunshine Crate – send some love to someone else – it is contagious! Plus, you are supporting small businesses!

Resources to come alongside you:

{These suggestions are ideas from novice moms. Sometimes our life situations need more. 

In that case, seeking out professional help is the right call.}

 

Boundaries: 2020 Edition

Anna
Anna

Help!!! Can you talk? 

Anna
Virginia

Yes! What’s wrong?

Anna
Anna

Everything feels like a huge mess.

Anna
Virginia

Awww. I feel you! It’s such a weird time.

Anna
Anna

I’m so overwhelmed. I feel like I’m in a game of elementary school Dodge Ball and I can’t get out of the way fast enough. I keep getting hit and I just want the game to end already. I thought after 6 weeks of the kids being in school that this stressful feeling would be gone.

Anna
Virginia

Same, girl, same! Yeah, it sounds like more than just everyday stress.

Anna
Anna

Right. And I think in an effort to feel better, or “normal,” I’ve been looking to the wrong things for comfort (ahem, one more sweet coffee drink, please?)… but it never really fixes this feeling. ?

Anna
Virginia

Me too… I’ve so been there! I’ve eaten soo many Hershey Kisses…?so many metallic wrappers….and you’re right, it wasn’t enough. I think the issue is that we’re seeking information, which isn’t bad, but we’re absorbing it all, whether that’s the news or social media or our friends’ and families’ advice. I need walls to keep all that stuff from coming in and affecting me. Boundaries, basically. 

Anna
Anna

Hmm, that makes sense… letting too much in. I feel like I’m constantly being hit with all of the divisive issues right now, pressure to take sides, and disturbing information that I may or may not be able to trust — it’s there around every corner. 

Anna
Virginia

Yeah, exactly. There’s no resting place. I was finding that I was getting really restless, losing sleep, not feeling productive or connected to people, or God even. I was letting the world’s anxiety affect my inner peace. 

Anna
Anna

The world’s anxiety! ? That’s what I’ve been doing. And add to it our everyday “normal” problems, that are still there! Hmm… Remember that children’s song, “Be Careful Little Eyes, What You See?” ? Maybe we actually could start being careful about what we see and hear.

Anna
Virginia

I know that one. Kids’ songs offer the most wisdom.? But seriously — I think it’s true! I’m trying to notice what threatens my peace. I need to stop looking at and taking it ALL in.

Anna
Anna

Yes! And as we start to put some boundaries up for ourselves, we can trust God will help us find the peace we’re looking for. 

Anna
Virginia

Right. We can’t fix the world but we can put up some shields so we’re not constantly hit with all of the “dodgeballs” of life.

Scripture to Encourage You:

  • “But, Lord, you are my shield, my wonderful God who gives me courage.” (Psalm 3:3 NCV)
  • “Every word of God is flawless; he is a shield to those who take refuge in him.” (Proverbs 30:5 NIV)
  • “For the Lord gives wisdom; from his mouth come knowledge and understanding. He holds success in store for the upright, he is a shield to those whose walk is blameless, for he guards the course of the just and protects the way of his faithful ones.” (Proverbs 2:-6-8 NIV)
  • “My son, do not let wisdom and understanding out of your sight, preserve sound judgement and discretion; they will be life for you, an ornament to grace your neck.” (Proverbs 3:21 NIV)
  • “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” (Proverbs 4:23 NIV)

Reading and Resources to Come Alongside You:

Music to Inspire You:

Ideas to Try:

  • Pre-arrange a calming activity if you wake up in the middle of the night and can’t sleep instead of staring at your phone. I (Virginia) recommend “Meditation Minis” — a podcast that offers directed meditations lasting about 10 minutes. 
  • Examine your nighttime routine. Find and replace a depleting activity (reading negative comments on social media) and replace it with an encouraging activity (regularly checking in on textingthetruth.com) or the fun of a DIY pedicure.
  • Examine your morning routine: What can you prepare the night before to reduce your stress? What can you delegate? I (Virginia) have my son make his own lunch; it has been glorious. 
  • On the subject of time management, another piece of advice I’m implementing is from “The Lazy Genius” Podcast. The principle is to examine your day. What tasks can you only do when you’re alone? What tasks can you do while the kids are home? For example, I can’t do focused writing when my kids are home. I can, however, do the dishes while they watch TV. Sometimes my kids and I spend time outside on the driveway: they ride their bikes and I fold the laundry. This principle reduces stress for me because it helps me prioritize my tasks throughout my day. 
  • Delete or rein in those time wasters on your phone – set up a designated time limit. You won’t regret it. 
  • Make time for your passions. What is calming to you? Reading, writing, listening to music and decluttering are things that I enjoy doing. This is not self-care talk. This is “essential to feed your soul and get out of your own head” stuff. 

*Note: The Texting the Truth team is all about grace for moms. No one expects you to do more or be more. More importantly, God does not expect you to try harder. He is readily available with the wisdom, grace and peace that you need. We’re here to offer practical suggestions. Use what works for you and leave the rest.