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Category Archives: Mom Fails

Leaving a Legacy

5 / 9 / 215 / 9 / 21

As I reflect on motherhood, I can’t help but remember my own childhood. It was rather idyllic and mostly happy. My parents did their best to give my sister and I the opportunity to “turn out right.” And today is my dad’s birthday. He would’ve been 64. He probably would have gray hair and wrinkles. Only he’s frozen in my mind at 49, dark hair and laughing eyes. The way he looked when he went to heaven almost 15 years ago. 

He profoundly influenced my life, the way I think and the way I look at the world around me. It got me thinking– what kind of legacy am I going to leave for my children when I am gone? My dad’s legacy was a good one. A godly one. One I am thankful for as I raise my own kids. He wasn’t perfect. No legacy is perfect. I remember my dad apologizing to our family when he lost his temper or was impatient from time to time. But in that, he showed us how to own our mistakes and ask for forgiveness. Even in failure, he was teaching us good things. 

But how do I leave behind sweet memories and a good heritage? A legacy is built one moment, one word, one adventure at a time. And like it or not, a legacy is inevitable. I’ll either leave a good one or a bad one. 

I think the legacy my dad left (and the same one I want to leave for my kids) comes down to two things– loving God and loving people. If I can do those two things, I’ve nailed it. Of course, no one can love God and love people perfectly, but I have to start somewhere.

The Bible goes so far as to tell me to love God with my whole heart, soul and mind. Is that even possible? Yes, I think so. Otherwise God wouldn’t have told us to do it. When my kids exclaim, “I can’t…” I always remind them that I will never ask them to do something they cannot do. I think God is the same way. He doesn’t ask me to do something that He won’t give me the strength to accomplish. 

I’m also called to love others as I love myself. But sometimes I can’t even figure out how to go a week without losing my cool with one of my own kids!! How am I supposed to love the whole world?! 

What if I begin to love my husband and my children with a supernatural love? Forgiving them, showing them grace, extending patience, giving them the gift of my time and attention. That’s a pretty good place to start. One good thing at a time. And sometimes, I’ll mess up. But that’s ok. God’s grace is bigger than my mistakes. His love can cover a whole lot of my mess- ups. And someday, my kids will hopefully be handed the legacy of a mom who loved God and loved people to the best of her ability, one moment at a time. 

?Janelle

Scripture to encourage you:

  • “And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.” (II Corinthians‬ ‭12:9‬) ‭
  • “Jesus said to him, “ ‘You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.’ This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like it: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’” (‭‭Matthew‬ ‭22:37-39)

Music to inspire you:

  • “How They Remember You” by Rascal Flatts
  • “Only Jesus” by Casting Crowns 
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Raising Generous Kids

11 / 20 / 1711 / 19 / 17

Anna
Anna

Well, my plan FAILED again! ?

Anna
Laura
Laura

Oh, no… what happened? You know what they say about the best laid plans, right?

Laura
Anna
Anna

Yes…ugh. I am SO frustrated with my kids right now. I wanted to start off the holiday season with giving, instead of making a huge list of everything they want for Christmas (when they need nothing. I mean, we need no more stuff in this house!).

Anna
Laura
Laura

I hear you on all points! How do we focus on giving? How do we focus on gratitude instead of greediness? And seriously… the stuff? It’s a little out of control!

Laura
Anna
Anna

Right?! So my plan was to show them an Operation Christmas Child video, talk to them about children in other places who don’t have what they have, and then give them each a box to fill. So we did that, we went to the store together, and what do they do? Ask me for stuff — “Mom, can I have this? Mom, I have $10 at home, will you buy this for me? I’ll pay you back!” ?

Anna
Laura
Laura

I wish you could hear me laughing/crying right now… It’s not really funny, of course, but it’s comical because it’s normal. Sad and typical of our kids who have more than they know!  

Laura
Anna
Anna

Yeah, I think I said “THIS IS NOT FOR YOU!” about 15 times. #notaspecialmoment

Anna
Laura
Laura

But it’s such a good goal you had here! And it seems the purpose was lost on them, but maybe it wasn’t?

Laura
Anna
Anna

Maybe… They just didn’t seem like their hearts were in it. Even when we got home and were packing the boxes, I felt like they were doing it to please me. Was it worth anything? It makes me sad because I don’t want them to be entitled kids.

Anna
Laura
Laura

Me either! But even if they packed those boxes to please you, they still did it. They still will be able to track that box all the way to wherever it goes (if you paid the extra $9, that is!?)  

Laura
Anna
Anna

We totally did pay the extra $9, and my hope was still that if they could see where it went, it would become a little more real.

Anna
Laura
Laura

You have to start somewhere!

Laura
Anna
Anna

(Sigh.) I guess you are right. As a mom you just hope and pray that something sinks in, even though you can’t tell sometimes. At least not yet. I guess I can’t expect this one big attempt at giving to instantly give them generous, thankful hearts.

Anna
Laura
Laura

Yes. We have a tough job here. In so many ways we want our kids to be normal, and sometimes I feel like it’s my fault that my boys are so entitled. After all, I have helped fill our house with the stuff.  

Laura
Anna
Anna

Me too… And on the other hand, we’re not “normal” — or shouldn’t be. We have a great gift that changes us: Jesus. And because of that, He asks us to live a little differently from the “norm.”

Anna
Laura
Laura

So true. I’m so glad that we can work together as moms to figure out how to do this. How do we raise thankful kids? Grateful kids? Kids who want what they want because they’re kids, but who also pack boxes for kids who want for what we take for granted? Kids who know what the greatest gift is and are ready at all times to give that away. #thetruthaboutgrowingup

Laura
Anna
Anna

I think we can just pray to be more aware of opportunities on a daily basis…to be on the lookout for those times when we can be generous in small ways. Lots of small things over time could add up to a lot. And hey… by the way, I think we’re doing at least some of that already. So maybe I can chill out a little. ?

Anna
Laura
Laura

Um, yes! You and your kids did a wonderful thing for others. You did it with a heart that pleases God. And you know how much you have to be thankful even if they don’t… yet! Have a great Thanksgiving, dear friend!

Laura

Soaking in the Truth

Scripture to encourage you:

  • “Then the people rejoiced because they had offered so willingly, for they made their offering to the Lord with a whole heart…” 1 Chronicles 29:9
  • “Give, and it will be given to you.” Luke 6:38
  • “It is more blessed to give than to receive.” Acts 20:35

Music to inspire you:

  • “Give Thanks” originally by Don Moen, performed here by Unhindered

Readings and Resources to come alongside of you:

  • “The Generous Child: How to Teach Generosity, Ages 3 to 4” by The Baby Center
  • “Top 5 Ways to Raise a Generous Child at Any Age” by World Vision 
  • (An interesting read) “How to Raise Kinder, Less Entitled Kids (According to Science)” by the Washington Post

Related Posts on Texting the Truth:

  • “Decluttering Our Spiritual Closets”
  • “The Real Stuffing”

Living Out the Truth

Ideas to try:

  • Look for opportunities to show generosity, and take your kids with you when you can! Make dinner for a neighbor who just had surgery, and ask your child to help prepare or deliver it. Offer to give a friend a ride home in front of your child. Take extra clothing or canned goods to a local food pantry with your child. Make it a regular occurrence (not just during the holidays).
  • Use the word “generous” when you talk about the above things, so they get used to hearing it and thinking about it.
  • Share 1 thing that you are thankful for at dinner or bedtime. This helps to get the heart in the right place. Thankfulness prepares the heart to give.
  • Offer to share with little ones, and praise them when they share with you or siblings.

    {These suggestions are ideas from novice moms. Sometimes our life situations need more.
    In that case, seeking out professional help is the right call.}

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We don’t claim to have motherhood figured out. Actually quite the opposite. We’re a group of women who first and foremost love the Lord and want to honor Him with our lives and talents. And we decided that what better way for us to sort out this beautiful and messy thing called motherhood but to process it together in text messages? Our prayer is that as we share our real-life stories and honest experiences, every mom who visits our blog will receive tangible truth and experience real grace.

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