Category Archives: #smallshifts

A #smallshift at Lent

I have never really observed Lent (the 40 days before Easter) before. Sure, I have maybe given up something here or there, but it hasn’t been something I have made a dedicated practice in my life.

This year, as Lent  approached, I felt drawn to participate. Partly because we have been talking about #smallshifts on the blog. And partly because for the past couple of months I have been praying about shifts I need to implement in my life to be more of the woman God wants me to be. One of those areas is having more self-control. Lent seemed like the perfect time to focus on that.

Honestly, my thought process was – this will be a good motivation for me to cut out some things that are getting in the way of my growth and will help me become more disciplined. But after doing some reading about the true purposes of Lent, cutting things out so I can be a better version of myself is actually not the point of Lent. If that was the case, the focus would be on me and my self-discipline and how well I accomplished those goals. Although I think it would be good to go a period of time with a focus on disciplining myself in certain areas, I am realizing that Lent is so much more than that. And it lies in my intent.

Lent actually is fasting. At first that turned me off a little because I’ve never really successfully fasted. I fasted from food once in college but felt so sick by the end that honestly I’ve been scared to attempt it again. ?

However as I read about fasting, I was reminded that the point of fasting is to go without something to better focus on what we are truly hungering for spiritually. And that thought really connects with me right now.

What is satisfying me?

I feel like I have been trying to satisfy my hunger with things I know won’t ultimately satisfy me. And one of those things is social media. I am a very social person, and what originally drew me to social media years ago was interacting with people. I also love words so it’s an abundance of words and people, which couldn’t be more perfect for me! ?

Over time I have found that I can go to social media in ways that aren’t helpful for me. Like comparing my everyday life with everyone’s highlight reel. (We wrote more about that here.) Like checking out of my life because I’m a little bored and want to see something more thrilling than my reality of playing house. Like wanting to post perfect pictures when in reality, life feels far from it.  Like scrolling at night when everyone’s finally asleep and realizing too much time has passed in the mindless surfing…and then realizing none of the scrolling actually added much to my life.

I still enjoy social media. I enjoy seeing the cute pictures of my friends’ kids and I enjoy reading about some of the thoughts of people I admire. But if I’m super honest, I’m realizing I have been using social media to satisfy something that it is not intended to satisfy. Or maybe I’m not looking for it to satisfy me, but at least distract me.

What does this have to do with Lent?

So back to Lent… I read this quote and felt it confirmed so much of what I’ve been feeling: “Each one of us lives with needs—physical needs and the need for love, security, and community—that we often bury or try to hide by filling our lives with ‘stuff’ and relationships that can never really make us happy or give us peace. And so, Lenten fasting means that we set aside those things with which we self-medicate so that we can be free to recognize what our real hungers and desires are—including our desire for God. Only God can truly satisfy the deepest desires and needs of our hearts.” 

And then I read Henri Nouwen’s words and it further explained why I was connecting with Lent: “Lent is a time of returning to God. It is a time to confess how we keep looking for joy, peace, and satisfaction in many people and things surrounding us, without really finding what we desire. Only God can give us what we want…Lent is a time of refocusing, of reentering the place of truth and reclaiming our true identity.”

Returning to God. Refocusing. Reclaiming my identity. All of that put words to what I have been needing. Lent is a time to put aside the things that may be distracting me from digging deeper into my relationship with Him. It’s time to embrace the grace God gives me and put aside striving to perform or being productive to earn God’s love.

As I began pondering this shift I realized I could so easily make this about my works instead of my heart. I could easily focus on changing my behavior for 40 days instead of a change growing in my heart. After all, I’m the girl that really excelled at sticker charts when I was younger. ? But at the same time, what if I don’t excel at this shift? What if I find myself falling back into my old pattern of scrolling? I keep hearing God remind me in my heart, Lent has nothing to do with behavior modification and everything to do with inviting more of God into my heart. He doesn’t expect perfection or production out of me, only a heart tuned into Him.

What if instead of focusing on what discipline I can muster up, I shift to asking the Holy Spirit to fill me in these 40 days? What if I asked Him to help me stay tuned into the ways I look to other things to satisfy or distract me?

That doesn’t mean making disciplined decisions isn’t a good focus for Lent. After all, Galatians 5 says that one of the ways we know that the Holy Spirit’s presence  is in our lives is through self-control.  But just fasting from something in and of itself isn’t going to produce self-control. Instead of cutting out social media or sugar or wine, what if Lent was a time for me to invite the Holy Spirit into my life in a deeper way by eliminating some of the things that may be distracting me from doing that?

What about the blog?                                                                                                      

As I began thinking about this idea of fasting from social media for Lent so I can quiet the noise around me and make more space to hear from God, one major excuse kept coming to my mind: our blog. We have been daily posting on our blog’s social media pages as a way to consistently connect to our readers.

And yep, you guessed it. Once I identified the reason for why I couldn’t go off social media, I realized I needed to.

For me, Lent has become a time for me to lay down some of the things that become all-consuming so that I can give that space back to God. To “cease [my] endless striving” (Psalm 46:10) and hold onto the truth that I don’t need to do anything to earn God’s unconditional love and grace. ?

What does this mean?

We have had many conversations as a team and have decided for the next 40 days of Lent we are going to take a break. Physically. Emotionally. Spiritually. Many of us on the team have been working really hard on this blog for almost three years without much of a break at all. And though we’ve loved this project, we are feeling the need to step away for a time to make space to hear from God.

We would love to invite you, this wonderful mom community, to pray with us for fresh vision in our own lives and in the blog. We will miss posting these next 40 days, but we look forward to gaining new insight in the time away.

In the meantime, we want to leave you with a few Lent and Easter resources for you and your kids. Check out our “Truth to Inhale” below for lots of ideas.

What does this mean for you?

As I sign off, I’m curious if reading these words stirred anything in you. Is there something God is asking you to give up for a time so that you can better hear from Him? Or grow closer to Him? Again, it’s not about the “giving up” but it’s about the intent of pushing aside the clutter to embrace more of Him. ?

Please share below if you have any thoughts. We love love love hearing from you all. It’s such encouragement to us! ?

? Michelle

Soaking in the Truth

Scripture to encourage you:

  • “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.” (Galatians 5:22-23 NIV)
  • “ …fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith.” (Hebrews 12:2 NIV)
  • “Cease striving and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.” (Psalm 46:10 NASB)
  • “That is why the Lord says, ‘Turn to me now, while there is time. Give me your hearts.’” (Joel 2:12 NLT)

Music to inspire you:

Readings and Resources to come alongside of you:

Related Posts on Texting The Truth:

Living Out the Truth

Ideas to try:

  • Set up reminders on your phone throughout the day to stop and pray. Maybe start slowly with one reminder at breakfast. Let the alarm remind you to praise God and thank Him for a single specific blessing in your life (ex. A warm home, comfortable bed, husband, each child, the warmer weather that will one day arrive 😉 etc…Change the reminders to keep it fresh.  
  • Check out a fasting devotional on YouVersion. Some are related to food and some are more general such as our speech.
  • Consider the question: What is one small shift you could make during Lent?

Treasured Products we love:

(Disclaimer: We know Lent may have officially started but who says you can’t start midway through (and if you’re doing it with your kids, they will never know!)? If you’re looking for something to prepare your heart for Easter, check those resources out!)

{These suggestions are ideas from novice moms. Sometimes our life situations need more. In that case, seeking out professional help is the right call.}

It’s Way Past Mama’s Bedtime

Katie

I did it! I got to bed before midnight last night.?

Virginia

Katie, that’s awesome! What’s the secret sauce? I’d love to get to bed earlier.

Katie

Ha! I wish I knew a fool proof secret! Getting to bed earlier has been a struggle for me for quite some time. But I have been feeling lately that God wants me to make it a priority.

Virginia

I totally get that. I feel like there’s so much to do and I don’t get to start on the chores until late.

Katie

Agreed ! I feel like the days are packed with taking care of the kids and different activities or commitments.? I sooo enjoy the peaceful quiet that settles over the house after I put the kids to bed at night. Not to mention that’s the only time I have to actually get anything done.

Virginia

Exactly! Those precious few hours after the kids’ bedtime is when my husband and I get to hang out. And when I can tackle those pesky chores. Laundry. Dishes (ugh, the dishes!). Need I go on?

Katie

Oh, my daily battle with the dishes!!!?

Virginia

Maybe I’ll switch us to paper products forever.? That will solve one problem, haha.

Katie

Yes, free up one space on that never-ending to-do list! That’s what has hit me, though – because the to-do list seems to never end, I just stay up later and later working on different things …

Virginia

Right, and before I know it, I’m up too late and then I’m too tired and I wake up cranky and I am short-fused and I take it out on the kids and then it’s a downward spiral. Am I the only one?

Katie

Sounds like mornings at my house! I was waking up tired every morning. And then I was snapping at my kids while I was feeding them breakfast and trying to rush everyone through the morning routine of getting dressed and brushing teeth and out the door on time. Not the way I wanted our mornings to look!?

Virginia

What did you decide to do differently?

Katie

Well, I realized I had to change SOMEthing! For me, my ideal night sleep would be 7 ½ hours. Lofty goal, but I set a bedtime for myself to be able to get that much sleep. Some nights I make it and some I don’t, but a helpful first step for me was at least stating the goal!?

Virginia

That’s smart! Creating concrete goals give you something practical to do, not some general desire. So it’s like a cutoff time. What happens when you don’t get everything done by then? I struggle to relax if my chores aren’t done and bedtime is fast approaching.

Katie

I’ve been *trying* to prioritize what actually has to get done each night and what can wait until the next day. I’ve found I have to let go of some things in order to stick to an earlier bedtime. Sometimes dirty dishes stay in the sink and emails go unanswered.

Virginia

You’re right, though. Would I prefer clean dishes when I come downstairs over a smoother and calmer morning with my kiddos? Probably not. Everything may seem like they’re equal on the priority scale but they’re really not.

Katie

Right! And when I remember the benefit of waking up more rested is better interactions with my kids in the morning, it makes it easier to stick to the bedtime goal.

Virginia

I have not perfected our mornings but I do try to prepare for the next day as much as I can the night before, like pack lunches and put backpacks by the back door. (It must be nice to be a child and have no concept of time!) If I’m as prepared as I can be, it’s easier to relax and fall asleep at my appointed bedtime. I think the main thing is I just need to let some things go, like you were saying: priorities.

Katie

And God has been showing me that I need to make my personal health a priority in order to allow Him to help me be the kind of mom He wants me to be for my kids in the morning. Letting go of the to-do list at night and going to sleep is a way of showing Him I trust Him to provide what I need for the next day.

Virginia

So true! Sleep is like our daily bread. We can’t save up for the future or pull from our reserve because there isn’t one. When we stress and busy ourselves and try to do all the things and sacrifice our sleep, we’re acting out of fear and that doesn’t lead to good health or good relationships.

Katie

It’s time to set my bedtime alarm for 11pm. Hold me to it!

Virginia

Way to go! Just forget those dishes; they’ll be there in the morning – I guarantee it.?

Soaking in the Truth

Scripture to encourage you:

  • “In vain you rise early and stay up late, toiling for food to eat— for he grants sleep to those he loves.” (Psalm 127:2, NIV)
  • “being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 1:6, NIV)
  • “Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.” (Colossians 3:12, NIV)
  • “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” (Matthew 11:28-30, NIV)

Music to inspire you:

Readings and Resources to come alongside of you:

These articles not only point out how lack of sleep negatively affects our physical and emotional health, but also reminded me that sleep is an act of humility and shows trust in God for protection and provision.

Related Posts on Texting The Truth:

Living Out the Truth

Ideas to try:

  • I (Katie) have tried to set a daily alarm on my phone to remind me it is time to get ready to go to bed. I’ve also been trying to make to-do lists that separate what tasks need to be finished today versus which ones can wait until tomorrow or later in the week. That helps me prioritize my time and be able to have a “stopping point” for the day and go to sleep!
  • I (Virginia) prepare for the next day as much as I can the night before. I fix lunches, place backpacks by the door, and place outgoing mail by my purse. The preparation allows me to relax once I’m finally in bed because I don’t have those tasks waiting for me in the morning.
  • Keep a notepad and pen on your nightstand. When those little to-do list items pop up, jot them down. You’ll be relieved to get them out of your head and you won’t forget them.

 

{These suggestions are ideas from novice moms. Sometimes our life situations need more.

In that case, seeking out professional help is the right call.}