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Category Archives: Mental Health

“Mom-sters” Hungry for Peace and Laughter

10 / 29 / 21

Janelle

Jo! Can you believe we’re already coming to the end of 2021? It seems like 2020, quarantine, pandemic, everyone-at-home-all-the-time craziness was just yesterday! How is it that the holidays are just around the corner again!?

Jo

It feels long and short all at once, doesn’t it, Janelle? I am struggling coming out of that mindset of crisis mode.

Janelle

I can understand that. Is there anything you’ve held onto from that wild time?

Jo

One truth stands out to me— I cannot really control much in this world, so I have to hang onto my family with all I’ve got.

Janelle

Isn’t that the truth? We learned so much about ourselves and each other during quarantine. The (long) days together definitely created some tension in our family. Slowing down and not running from thing to thing also forced us to work through our conflicts.

Jo

What were some of the big conflicts you had during the lockdown?

Janelle

Sibling rivalry was a big one for us. You know, just being together 24/7 breeds conflict. ? We often found ourselves sitting on the floor, talking about how we could’ve handled a situation differently and offering each other forgiveness. How about you?

Jo

Ours was having to navigate the constant change in schedule for our son. Thankfully, the down time was good to get back to enjoying the little things together.  

Janelle

There were challenges and blessings both! I know I struggled with my anger (mainly from being overwhelmed with EVERYONE and everything being out of control). My anger was staring me in the face and I had nowhere to go.

Jo

Yes, the frustration was so clear everywhere, and we could not just run from each other. And yet there were good things woven into all the upheaval. What does that teach us about God?

Janelle

It reminds me to look for His blessings. Seeing His goodness in the midst of chaos keeps hope alive.

Jo

For me, it was seeing how God designed us to let go and laugh… to have that pressure release.  ?

Janelle

I love that! “A merry heart does good like medicine,” right? Have a good laugh that makes tears run down your cheeks every now and then!

Jo

I needed that reminder, because I am getting caught up in the swirl of changes again this time of year. I’m an introvert, so I am not liking the calendar filling back up… I’m getting overwhelmed with all the “things.”

Janelle

Yes!! I was actually excited about things getting cancelled! Did you see the memes that said, “Introverts unite! Cancel everything!” ?

Jo

Yes! I am so down with staying home. So what can I do when my calendar feels out of control?  

Janelle

I have to be purposeful in planning my days. I find myself filling my calendar too, often with good things. But taking the time to slow down and work through conflict like we did during lockdown is a skill I’d like to carry into our new normal. How about you?

Jo

The busy-ness takes away my down time to reflect and rest.  All of that margin time matters. Without it, I am quite snippy. 

Janelle

You’re right. And without purposeful rest and reflection, frustration and anger still find their way into my days. If I don’t stop and deal with it, it can snowball into a real monster.

Jo

Like when I sometimes treat strangers nicer than my own people? ?

Janelle

Guilty. I have also found myself snarling at my husband and kids then walking into work and being the most complimentary, encouraging person in the room! 

Jo

How can we get better at this?… I feel like I can become a mom-ster at a moment’s notice.

Janelle

Right?! I heard it described recently as the “moment of impact.” Will I respond in anger or with grace? How do I choose to respond well at the “moment of impact”? And not turn into a “mom-ster”? ?

Jo

I usually try to take a deep breath. Cliche, but cliche for a reason. 

Janelle

Exactly. Because it’s helpful. When I’m really feeling my blood begin to boil, that’s when I ought to stop and take a deep breath, and THINK. Think before I speak… really profound, right? ? And ask God for the words to say.

Jo

And also, most trivial conflicts can be helped with a little candy, food, or drink. I learned that during the pandemic too. ?

Janelle

Ha! Yummy things do solve a lot of problems! (Imagining those fresh-from-the-oven chocolate chip cookies now… we made way too many during quarantine!) ?

Jo

Well, as we enter the holiday season, maybe we can be reminded of how Jesus rested. He laughed. And He ate! All of those gifts of life are so crucial to being our best selves. Lord, help us get back to those basics.

Janelle

And heaven help us if we have to experience another quarantine to remind us of those truths! ?

Soaking in the Truth 

Scripture to encourage you:

  • “Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves.  Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. Share with God’s people who are in need. Practice hospitality.” (Romans 12:9-13, NIV)
  • Jesus Rests (Mark 4:35 before he calms the storm, Mark 6 before he feeds the five thousand, NIV)
  • “Taste and see that the LORD is good. Oh, the joys of those who take refuge in him!” (Psalm 34:8, NLT)

Music to inspire you:

  • “Old Church Choir” by Zach Williams 
  • “Always Remember to Never Forget” by Christy Nockels 
  • “Selah” by Lauryn Hill   

Living Out the Truth 

Ideas to try:

  • Ask Alexa or Siri to tell you a joke sometime! 
  • Take dinner to a new table and enjoy it together in an unfamiliar place – even if that is a picnic on the living room floor or around the coffee table. Sometimes the change of scenery keeps the conversation fresh. 
  • Get outside with your family for a short walk or to play outside together. 

Resources to come alongside you:

  • Laughing with the movie “Yes Day”
  • Recipes from Disney movies, anyone? Anna did this recently, and it made for a fun weekend: Recipes to Re-Create Dishes From Disney Movies at Home 
  • Resting takes deliberate planning and advocating for yourself, Mama. Nine Easy Ways Mom Can Relax 

{These suggestions are ideas from novice moms. Sometimes our life situations need more.  In that case, seeking out professional help is the right call.}

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Maternal Mental Health: A Conversation

6 / 23 / 20

Virginia

Hey, thanks for making time for us and our readers!

Tell us a little about your family and your job.

Jenny

My husband and I have twin 7-year-old girls, Ellie and Libby, and our son Tripp is 4. We’ve been married for 12 years.

I am a licensed mental health counselor 🙂 I have been in private practice for the last 5.5 years and have a specialization in maternal mental health.

Virginia

Does that mean you help moms with postpartum depression?

Jenny

It does! And actually many women experience mood and anxiety disorders during pregnancy as well, so I get to partner with women to help them transition to their new (or seasoned) role of motherhood. One in five women will experience some change in mood or anxiety during pregnancy and/or postpartum period, so if you know 5 women, you probably know someone who has experienced this!

Virginia

1 in 5, wow! That’s helpful to hear because it makes it sound pretty common. Do you think there’s less of a stigma now than there used to be?

Jenny

Yes and no, social media can help and hinder women getting from speaking up about this topic! There can be so much shame for new moms because they have an idea of what motherhood should be like and they aren’t experiencing it. The good news? You are not alone and depression/anxiety are treatable! ?

Virginia

So some moms were already having a tough time dealing with their unmet expectations and now we have a whole new set of circumstances on top of that burden. How has the pandemic affected the mental health field?

Jenny

Initially, it was a quick transition to offer telehealth sessions to moms and most were adapting well (as if they had a choice ?). But more recently, more people are experiencing higher levels of stress and uncertainty about what the future will look like. This naturally has brought on more anxiety and changes in mood.

Virginia

I bet many of our readers can relate. I know I can! For me, it was a little like whiplash in the beginning – so many new changes happening so quickly. The whole experience truly was novel. We started to see some good emerge: more family time and a relaxed pace, to name a few. Now, it feels like it’s dragging on endlessly. The honeymoon is over and there is some anxiety some days.

Jenny

Yes, exactly! It’s been a real challenge to both be in the moment and be thankful for the good and juggle the frustration and sadness that all these changes bring.

Virginia

Sometimes I look around and wonder why I’m having a difficult time when another mom seems to be okay. It seems like I shouldn’t feel that way, especially if that mom has more kiddos to raise or more obvious challenges.

Jenny

It’s true, there are people who are struggling in a more obvious way. However, our mental health usually suffers when we compare ourselves to others. The phrase, “Acknowledging someone’s broken leg doesn’t make yours less sprained” is helpful to address that.

Being mindful of how our bodies and brains interact is crucial.

Virginia

Is that what I’ve heard described as the ‘mind-body connection?’

Jenny

Yes, one of the most amazing things about the way our bodies were designed, is that they have the capability of revving up and giving us the energy we need and also the same capability of slowing us down back to a relaxed, calm state. When we are stressed, our bodies tend to stay in an energized state, sometimes without us even recognizing it, which can lead to short tempers with our family, trouble concentrating and difficulty completing tasks. To help ourselves, we need to be very intentional about slowing down in order to tap into our built-in calming mechanism.

Virginia

Oh that can be really hard to do. ? Are there strategies that can help?

Jenny

First it’s becoming aware that we all are experiencing stress and one of the best things we can do for ourselves is to accept that this IS stressful. We are all handling it in different ways and there are MANY ways to take care of ourselves when stressed. I love John Gottman’s quote of “doing small things often”, meaning tiny gains matter! All of these strategies take just a few moments, and we ALL have a few moments to spare these days!

Virginia

Tiny gains matter! Yes! We have so much on our plates as mamas it can seem overwhelming but doing those small things can push us in the direction of improved mental health. I notice I feel better on sunny days.

What other ways can we relax?

Jenny

We can take deep belly breaths by counting down from 10-1, plan a few moments of quiet time, step outside for a few minutes of fresh air. It’s especially important to speak up when you’re feeling down. Verbalize your feelings instead of just letting them come out and inadvertently hurting someone else’s feelings which can add guilt to your sadness.

Virginia

How would a mom know it’s time to seek professional help?

Jenny

We all experience worry and depressed mood from time to time, but it’s time to seek help when these feelings interfere with your activities of daily living. If you’re having thoughts of not wanting to be here anymore, reach out and let someone know. YOU MATTER and there is hope and healing available for you.

Virginia

Any last words of wisdom for us as we navigate this weird season?

Jenny

Be kind to yourself. We encourage our kids to be kind to each other all the time, and sometimes our self-talk is downright mean! Grace and mercy have been freely given to us from our Heavenly Father, so be gracious and merciful to yourself in this season, Mama. It will be easier to love others when you do. ?

Virginia

Where can moms go to learn more?

Jenny

I volunteer with Postpartum Support International which connects women and families to resources like online support groups and local counselors who have been trained to serve women during pregnancy and postpartum. If you’d like to learn more about me, check out www.postpartumjax.com.

Scripture to inspire you:

  • “The waters of the sea closed around my throat. The deep sea was all around me; seaweed wrapped around my head. When I went down to where the mountains of the sea start to rise, I thought I was locked in this prison forever, but you saved me from the pit of death, Lord My God. When my life had almost gone, I remembered the Lord. I prayed to you, and you heard my prayers in your Holy Temple.” (Jonah 2:5-7 NIV)
  • Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid. (John 14:27 NIV)
  • For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline. (2 Timothy 1:7 NIV)
  • We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ. (2 Corinthians 10:5 NIV)
  • “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” (Matthew 11:28-30 NIV)
  • On hearing this, Jesus said, “It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. But go and learn what this means: ‘I desire mercy, not sacrifice.’ For I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners.” (Matthew 9:12-13 NIV)
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We don’t claim to have motherhood figured out. Actually quite the opposite. We’re a group of women who first and foremost love the Lord and want to honor Him with our lives and talents. And we decided that what better way for us to sort out this beautiful and messy thing called motherhood but to process it together in text messages? Our prayer is that as we share our real-life stories and honest experiences, every mom who visits our blog will receive tangible truth and experience real grace.

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