When Nothing Feels Normal

Laura
Laura

I need coffee…

Laura
Anna
Anna

Hahaha! I need… I don’t know what I need. Coffee may not cut it this morning! I’m not sure if I’m ready to face another homeschooling, homeplaying, home-everything day! 

Anna
Laura
Laura

Home-working. Home-cooking. Home home home… I’m beyond exhausted.

Laura
Anna
Anna

“The on and onness of it!” Haha — Do you remember Violet Crawley saying that in Downton Abbey?

Anna
Laura
Laura

Only one of my most favorite lines!! And yes, it does seem to go on and on right now… I mean when will we get back to “normal”?

Laura
Anna
Anna

I don’t know. I think that’s one of the hard things about it. Not knowing. It was kind-of fun at first, but now it makes me feel cooped-up… even angry at times. And out of control.

Anna
Laura
Laura

I have totally had my fair share of angry outbursts.  And I’ve felt so low some days. Almost, but not quite hopeless. You know all these emotions I’ve been experiencing throughout the last few weeks, they remind me of something.

Laura
Anna
Anna

What is that?

Anna
Laura
Laura

Being a new mom.

Laura
Anna
Anna

Oh! Really?

Anna
Laura
Laura

Yes, I know that seems funny to say, but there’s a lot of overlap!

Laura
Anna
Anna

Let’s hear it!

Anna
Laura
Laura

Ok, so first let me say there were a lot of sweet moments in those first few weeks when my husband was off work and we were together trying to figure out what in the world we were doing as parents. But those were some of the most exhausting and difficult weeks! And that whole first year of adjusting to parenthood was HARD. Figuring this whole shelter in place thing out is maybe even harder.

Laura
Anna
Anna

Yeeeeesssss! Figuring out this new normal…the school stuff…the management of kids without their normal routine… I mean, plus, there’s the feeling of I-need-to-treasure-these-moments and, I do, sometimes, but other times I want to chuck something OUT THE WINDOW. 💫👋

Anna
Laura
Laura

Or throw your kids out the window?

Laura
Anna
Anna

Umm… I wasn’t going to say that out loud but YES. And maybe their devices.

Anna
Laura
Laura

Right?  It’s also like being a new mom because of all the things you start thinking about that you never even considered before!  

I mean, I’ve never really been a germ-a-phobe, but now when I’m in the grocery, I wonder if someone coughed on this box of cereal?

Laura
Anna
Anna

I know, right?!? Lysol. Everything.😷

Anna
Laura
Laura

And one of the biggest changes of new motherhood was that I was never alone. I didn’t realize how much this extrovert needed her space?! And I adjusted, of course, but I was just getting used to my kids being at school all day. And now bam💥, everybody is home all the livelong day and there is no one to give me a break!

Laura
Anna
Anna

Yes. It’s different from summertime even, when they are still doing activities, going to the pool, going to friends’ houses… Not with this. I’m back to just wishing I could pee without being interrupted!

Anna
Laura
Laura

Exactly! I mean a little privacy please! Can’t a mom even take a shower without screaming at, I mean, talking to someone?!

Laura
Anna
Anna

And like, I feel so conflicted too. Guilty if I’m angry, or exhausted. Guilty if I don’t feel like playing one more round of Chutes and Ladders. 🙈

Anna
Laura
Laura

Yes… why is mom guilt so heavy right now? I mean, I am still working. Granted, very part time working, but when I say to the boys, “Ok, I need to grade my essays now,” and one of them looks up and screams, “You always have to work!” It is like a shot in the heart.

Laura
Anna
Anna

It is…And especially when you can’t even get all of your work done, and you’ve poured one-too-many bowls of cereal, trying to give yourself 10 more minutes to do your work. 

Meanwhile, GUILT again, because some people are sick, and we are not. Some people are dying or have loved ones passing away. It’s this underlying thought, like “You aren’t feeling the right way.”

Anna
Laura
Laura

Totally! And that happens to new moms too who are struggling, but then remember there are moms with babies in the NICU. And you try to use that thought to rein in your whining and be grateful, but the fact still remains that you are struggling too.

Laura
Anna
Anna

Yep! I totally get the connection. How did we make it through as new moms? That seems like a LOOOONG time ago.

Anna
Laura
Laura

You know I think one thing we can do during this time is to remember, even though it was a long time ago, the best advice we got as new moms and apply it to the situation.  Maybe that will give us a little perspective.

Laura
Anna
Anna

OK. Lay it on me! I need some! 🙂

Anna
Laura
Laura

Best time management advice I got as a new mom: when the baby is sleeping don’t do things that you could do when the baby is awake. The same applies here! If I can fold laundry and watch the twins complete a math assignment, then I should do that.

Laura
Anna
Anna

So good. So, like, taking a bath and reading a book might be good to do after the kids’ bedtime. OK.

I’ve got one. All of the feelings you are feeling are NORMAL. All of them. And none of them are wrong. 

Anna
Laura
Laura

That is the best advice.  And we have all been there and we have all had those emotions to one degree or another.  It’s so nice to know that in this situation all our emotions are normal too.

Laura
Anna
Anna

Yep. So have a good cry in the bathroom with your Cadbury Egg. It’s okay.

Anna
Laura
Laura

Thank goodness for the Cadbury Egg, I mean really. Thank You God for the grace of Easter candy in the middle of a pandemic. Can I have one with my coffee?

Laura
Anna
Anna

Yup. And I think, let’s lower the expectations a bit. Or a lot. I heard this the other day: Take your to-do list and expectations for the day and cut it in half. Now cut it in half again. Now you’ve got an okay list.

Anna
Laura
Laura

And even if you don’t get that list done, guess what? You’re still a mom tomorrow. His grace is still sufficient in this new normal.

Laura
Anna
Anna

His mercies are new every morning!!!

Anna
Laura
Laura

And those new mercies go very nicely with coffee and a Cadbury Egg!

Laura

Soaking in the Truth

Scripture to encourage you: Read the Bible… Anywhere, any time you get!

Music to inspire you: Seriously almost any Christian Song applies to this!  Just listen to worship music whenever possible. Put it on in the background of your life.

Readings and Resources to come alongside of you: Don’t try to find them…. Just read the Bible. As all pediatricians tell new moms: Stop Googling it, mom!

Living Out the Truth 

Just keep Praying, just keep praying… Just keep praying, praying, praying.🐠

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