How is it that walking down the greeting card aisle of the grocery store stocked with cards saying “Happy Father’s Day!” triggers such deep emotions? Every. Year.
Who knew paper was so powerful, huh?! ?
Right? I mean, maybe it’s a good thing? Every June I’m going to have a little attitude shift from the Lord. Last year grief, this year it’s a major reality check about how I treat my own hubby.
More deep thoughts from the grocery store? Priceless! What was going through your mind this time?
Oh, you know, just that I think deep inside I fear that my boys will have as challenged a relationship with their dad as I had with mine.
Hmm…you know what word jumped out at me? FEAR. Because you know I struggle with that. I think the trouble comes when we let our our fears hijack our thoughts.
Exactly! I don’t want to let fear run my thinking! So as I’ve been taking that fear to God, I’ve realized something very important!
Yay for taking that fear to God instead of keeping it inside.
That has to be the first step. But to appease that fear in the meantime, I’ve realized that I have been sticking my nose where it doesn’t belong. I’ve been trying to control the relationship between my hubby and my boys– trying to make it something I think it should be… opposite of the complications I had!
That makes sense…isn’t it interesting how we can try to control without really meaning to?
That’s so true! So instead of trying to butt into that relationship, I need to let it play out. Less stepping on his toes when my hubby is disciplining. Less trying to force him to take the boys to do something. Less passive aggressive eye rolls or well-placed sighs. And definitely less angry disagreeing with something he is doing when the boys are right there with us. And anyway, he doesn’t do any of these things to me!
Wow! ? God gave you some good wisdom when you asked! I’m learning, too, that the best thing I can do is ask for God’s help, surrender my expectations, and choose to be supportive. And the worst thing I can do is micromanage all of his attempts. (Not that I know that from experience or anything. ? )
Of course you don’t! ? I need to remember when I want to control a situation because of fear, I need to surrender the fear to God. Then instead of trying to control those around me, I want to trust God to work on each of the boys and their daddy. Finally, I want trust my hubby to do what he thinks is right in his own relationships with our boys even if it wouldn’t be how I would do it.
That’s good stuff right there.? I need to write that truth on my mirror so I see it everyday! ?
Ha, me too.? The reality is, my hubby is not just like my dad (far from it actually). My boys are not just like me (thankfully). And I am so thankful that God is at work in all of us! #thetruthaboutsummer #thetruthaboutfathersday
Soaking in the Truth
Scripture to encourage you:
- “If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him. 6 But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea that is driven and tossed by the wind.” (James 1:5,6, ESV)
Music to inspire you:
- “Lead Me” by Sanctus Real (I often pray this sentiment for my hubby’s heart)
Related Posts on Texting The Truth:
- Summer Is Coming: New Routines, Renewed Attitudes
- Personal Foul on Grief – Laura’s Father’s Day conversation last year
- Whose Side Are You On
Living Out the Truth
Ideas to try:
- Set aside a time that you pray just for your hubby as a dad. Spoken from personal experience, this has helped us trust God is at work in the relationships in our families. We keep learning it’s so much better to bring all of these dynamics to God first before we open our mouths. ?
- Next time a situation comes up that you try to control, pause and ask God if there is a fear there. Invite Him into that fear because we are learning there is freedom on the other side when we honestly deal with it!
- We are not saying that it’s never appropriate to step in and honestly chat with your husband about ways to connect with your kids. But our point is more on HOW and WHEN we share our thoughts rather than IF we do.
Treasured Products we haven’t read but want to:
- Love Unending: Rediscovering Your Marriage in the Midst of Motherhood by Becky Thompson
- For Better or For Kids: How to Love Your Spouse With Kids in the House by Ruth and Patrick Schwenk
{These suggestions are ideas from novice moms. Sometimes our life situations need more.
In that case, seeking out professional help is the right call.}
