Category Archives: #Coronavirus2020

Thieves of Joy

The seasons change, children grow, gray hair appears all the more, and tragedies do not stop just because we have an added layer of masking and elections.  Our writers have been richly blessed but deeply reminded of our frailty during 2020.  We are all surviving by God’s grace through various hardships further complicated by COVID 19.  All this begs the question: How in the world can we cling to God’s grace when humanity rears its ugly head? 

In my family, for instance, we just went through a disrupted adoption.  We survived by holding onto God’s love in the midst of broken systems, violence, trauma, and unspeakable loss.  Honestly, my loss as a mother is unspeakable.  My hubby and I are both only children and started our parenting journey miraculously easily considering our health history.  We were satisfied with just our one beautiful boy.  But then, we lost our parents, my uncle, my grandmother, one after the other, and we thought our son should have a sibling.  Little did we know that the process would bring even  more loss.  

I can barely write about how much it hurts to miscarry multiple times, work on an adoption license for a year, find who we believed would be our daughter, love her fiercely, and then discover we are just not who she needs as her forever family.  I am not sure how to write the anger I feel toward the system that failed us, the fear I have for her future, and the sadness I feel that we failed.  What has come out of me has been those little nasty habits.  

I buried these painful feelings deep and mostly went through the motions steeled with poise, a screwed on smile, and a neatly written to do list.  I marched on in order to protect my son, my husband, myself, and her. Maintaining Mama Bear resolve required God’s supernatural strength. I felt Him leading me every step, but now I am so tired from the let down. 

Can I tell you some more of my truth?  2020 has revealed deeper layers of my sin, which makes me feel exposed and often ashamed of myself.  I have had to eat crow on many fronts and apologize daily to my husband.  My temper can still be short, and I have had to physically cry out to God to help me in my time of need.  I realize now that my nastiest patterns of bad behavior come out through knee-jerk reactions when our backs are against the wall.  So repentance requires a habit of praying for forgiveness every. single. time.  Repenting from pride, control, ambition, and jealousy has required me to continually turn back to God (and to folks who will tell me the truth, not just what I want to hear).  

At my worst, I am terrible about comparing myself to other people.  I am given to jealousy.  I focus on the little criticisms rather than accentuating the positives.  I want to fixate on the past and hold a grudge.  How can I choose to pause and pray when my own ugliness comes out?  I need my Teddy Roosevelts who will remind me that I am letting Thieves of Joy like comparison rob me.  Because as Laura said in her four year anniversary post, we need each other.  

Are any of your hearts hurting like mine?  We have posted far less often since March, because we have frankly been surviving, just like many of you.  I, for one, have allowed some Thieves of Joy to rob me of my writing: comparison on social media scrolls, mindless TV shows, and sleeping in have robbed me of deeper times with God and you all.  But, now is the time for gratitude. Now is the time to realize that although we have lost much, we are thankful for all we still have.  If you come out stronger, have the Thieves of Joy really stolen much? If you come out with your marriage, career, and healthy child intact, does that not show God’s faithfulness? 

As we enter Thanksgiving and Christmastime, I want to turn again toward God and truthseekers.  I want to take back what sin has stolen. I want to speak joy and truth rather than hover over my losses and anger from 2020.  One joy I find is in reading, and recently I stumbled on this quote from Jenna Bush Hager’s beloved Gampy in her new book: “Don’t forget to enjoy being in the game.”  Let’s pray: Lord, please show us Your glory in the midst of ugliness.  Do not let us allow Thieves of Joy to rob us from enjoying the game we are called to play here on Earth.  Be our ever present help. Give us supernatural energy.  Be the joy we speak each day.  In Jesus’ name. Amen. 

To all our readers who have been personally affected by COVID-19, we have been praying for you.  Other members of our TtT writing team have gone through moving homes, job changes, surgeries, and supporting family members through divorce.  What have you been going through, Mamas?  What have been some of your survival tools? Send a DM so we can specifically pray for you.  The writing team prays every Friday morning to text it out together.  

Love, Jo

Soaking in the Truth 

Scripture to encourage you:

  • “God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.” (Psalm 46:1, ESV)
  • “But I, with shouts of grateful praise, will sacrifice to You. What I have vowed I will make good. I will say, ‘Salvation comes from the Lord.’” (Jonah 2:9, NIV)
  • “The Lord is my strength and my shield; in Him my heart trusts, and I am helped; my heart exults, and with my song I give thanks to Him.” (Psalm 28:7, ESV)

Music to inspire you:

Living Out the Truth 

Ideas to try:

Practically speaking, here are my best three tips for stealing back your joy: 

  • Say “it” out loud to your Teddies, whatever you’ve been keeping inside, and let them speak truth back to you. 
  • Plan time for something you enjoy and put it on your calendar so you keep your promise to yourself to really do it. 
  • Let yourself feel negative emotions.  Just because we are leaders as moms does not mean we are not allowed to show more than a happy face.  Find a way to safely let your sadness, anger, grief, jealousy, or hurt out of you.

Resources to come alongside you:

  • Brene Brown Podcast 
  • Ann Voskamp One Thousand Gifts Website
  • Replanted: Faith Based Support for Adoptive & Foster Families Book 

{These suggestions are ideas from novice moms. Sometimes our life situations need more.  In that case, seeking out professional help is the right call.}

Boundaries: 2020 Edition

Anna
Anna

Help!!! Can you talk? 

Anna
Virginia

Yes! What’s wrong?

Anna
Anna

Everything feels like a huge mess.

Anna
Virginia

Awww. I feel you! It’s such a weird time.

Anna
Anna

I’m so overwhelmed. I feel like I’m in a game of elementary school Dodge Ball and I can’t get out of the way fast enough. I keep getting hit and I just want the game to end already. I thought after 6 weeks of the kids being in school that this stressful feeling would be gone.

Anna
Virginia

Same, girl, same! Yeah, it sounds like more than just everyday stress.

Anna
Anna

Right. And I think in an effort to feel better, or “normal,” I’ve been looking to the wrong things for comfort (ahem, one more sweet coffee drink, please?)… but it never really fixes this feeling. ?

Anna
Virginia

Me too… I’ve so been there! I’ve eaten soo many Hershey Kisses…?so many metallic wrappers….and you’re right, it wasn’t enough. I think the issue is that we’re seeking information, which isn’t bad, but we’re absorbing it all, whether that’s the news or social media or our friends’ and families’ advice. I need walls to keep all that stuff from coming in and affecting me. Boundaries, basically. 

Anna
Anna

Hmm, that makes sense… letting too much in. I feel like I’m constantly being hit with all of the divisive issues right now, pressure to take sides, and disturbing information that I may or may not be able to trust — it’s there around every corner. 

Anna
Virginia

Yeah, exactly. There’s no resting place. I was finding that I was getting really restless, losing sleep, not feeling productive or connected to people, or God even. I was letting the world’s anxiety affect my inner peace. 

Anna
Anna

The world’s anxiety! ? That’s what I’ve been doing. And add to it our everyday “normal” problems, that are still there! Hmm… Remember that children’s song, “Be Careful Little Eyes, What You See?” ? Maybe we actually could start being careful about what we see and hear.

Anna
Virginia

I know that one. Kids’ songs offer the most wisdom.? But seriously — I think it’s true! I’m trying to notice what threatens my peace. I need to stop looking at and taking it ALL in.

Anna
Anna

Yes! And as we start to put some boundaries up for ourselves, we can trust God will help us find the peace we’re looking for. 

Anna
Virginia

Right. We can’t fix the world but we can put up some shields so we’re not constantly hit with all of the “dodgeballs” of life.

Scripture to Encourage You:

  • “But, Lord, you are my shield, my wonderful God who gives me courage.” (Psalm 3:3 NCV)
  • “Every word of God is flawless; he is a shield to those who take refuge in him.” (Proverbs 30:5 NIV)
  • “For the Lord gives wisdom; from his mouth come knowledge and understanding. He holds success in store for the upright, he is a shield to those whose walk is blameless, for he guards the course of the just and protects the way of his faithful ones.” (Proverbs 2:-6-8 NIV)
  • “My son, do not let wisdom and understanding out of your sight, preserve sound judgement and discretion; they will be life for you, an ornament to grace your neck.” (Proverbs 3:21 NIV)
  • “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” (Proverbs 4:23 NIV)

Reading and Resources to Come Alongside You:

Music to Inspire You:

Ideas to Try:

  • Pre-arrange a calming activity if you wake up in the middle of the night and can’t sleep instead of staring at your phone. I (Virginia) recommend “Meditation Minis” — a podcast that offers directed meditations lasting about 10 minutes. 
  • Examine your nighttime routine. Find and replace a depleting activity (reading negative comments on social media) and replace it with an encouraging activity (regularly checking in on textingthetruth.com) or the fun of a DIY pedicure.
  • Examine your morning routine: What can you prepare the night before to reduce your stress? What can you delegate? I (Virginia) have my son make his own lunch; it has been glorious. 
  • On the subject of time management, another piece of advice I’m implementing is from “The Lazy Genius” Podcast. The principle is to examine your day. What tasks can you only do when you’re alone? What tasks can you do while the kids are home? For example, I can’t do focused writing when my kids are home. I can, however, do the dishes while they watch TV. Sometimes my kids and I spend time outside on the driveway: they ride their bikes and I fold the laundry. This principle reduces stress for me because it helps me prioritize my tasks throughout my day. 
  • Delete or rein in those time wasters on your phone – set up a designated time limit. You won’t regret it. 
  • Make time for your passions. What is calming to you? Reading, writing, listening to music and decluttering are things that I enjoy doing. This is not self-care talk. This is “essential to feed your soul and get out of your own head” stuff. 

*Note: The Texting the Truth team is all about grace for moms. No one expects you to do more or be more. More importantly, God does not expect you to try harder. He is readily available with the wisdom, grace and peace that you need. We’re here to offer practical suggestions. Use what works for you and leave the rest.