Mom Life | Texting the Truth

Anna

I’m having a bad morning. Rushing to be somewhere makes me a maniac!

Laura

Story. Of. My. Life.

Anna

It seems like no matter what I do, how many kids are with me, or how sane I start off the morning, I am constantly ten minutes late and hurrying like crazy. Is this just me???

Desi

Oh, I don’t know. I never have that issue. ??

Anna

The worst part is in my rushing, I do stupid things that make me even more of a maniac. Like this morning, I dropped Ben’s homework sheet (that I was signing, while fixing my hair) in the toilet. And someone hadn’t flushed, of course. My rational self isn’t really present in these moments.? ? ?

Laura

NOOOOO!!!

Desi

LOL! Okay, I know it’s probably not so helpful to laugh… ? but it makes me feel better to know I’m not the only one that has this running-around-like-a-chicken-with-my-head-cut-off problem. ? ? (And the homework in the toilet IS funny…in a terrible way.) ?

Anna

I guess I have to laugh or I will cry!

Desi

Exactly! The longer I am a mom, the more I’m finding that to be true for everything. We have this choice to either laugh or cry. Unfortunately, I tend to do neither of those things and just get mad ? and that doesn’t help either.

Anna

MAD…yes! I think that’s it exactly. In the rushing moments I am mad at myself, thinking things like, “Why don’t I get up earlier? Why can’t I EVER be on time? Why did I just snap at the kids?” And if I’m being honest, sometimes I’m mad at the kids too, “Why are they not helping me? Why are they just going S-L-O-W-E-R??? ?

Laura

I have one that moves sooooo slowly that it make me nuts! He’s oblivious to everyone else’s rushing. He just moseys around like time doesn’t exist. It’s a miracle we haven’t missed the bus yet this year! Lollygagging when you should be rushing is equally infuriating and still causes us to be late!!

Desi

Turtle pace.? But you know what I found that helps me? (When I remember to do it!) I take a deep breath and ask myself, “What is the worst thing that will happen if I’m late?”

Because once I think about it from the “worst case scenario” perspective, it helps me realize the world is not going to end if we’re late – helps me slow down and let it go.

Anna

True… And breathing is DEFINITELY a good thing…that I forget to do often.

Desi

Sort of essential to life. ?

Laura

Breathing! Now there’s a novel concept! But not just survival breaths. Life-giving breaths!

Desi

Yes! And maybe that is the key. In our breathing, we try to remember where every breath comes from. That will help us to remember that God is the source of all good things and He calls us to rest, not to be headless chickens. ? ?

Anna

I think stopping to breathe in the midst of all of that is hard to do though!

Laura

Right… because we aren’t thinking straight!!

Desi

It is tough! But I don’t mean stop and sit down and ponder life… I just mean stopping the panic craziness to breathe, and refocus for a second or two on what is really important. And know that it is going to be OK.

Anna

I like that… Stopping before we cross that fine line between hurrying and panicking! Not letting myself spin out of control.

Laura

And I love the thought about where our every breath comes from. Maybe that will help me keep it all in perspective before I’m too mad to speak kindly to my family! And if I have to choose between kindness and promptness, breathing in His breath will make that choice a whole lot easier.

Anna

OK, this is a good plan. Whenever I feel rushed and panic mode starts to set in, I will take a deep breath and say, “Dear Jesus, you authored this moment. Help me to slow down and rest in You, and know that You’ve got it.”? ?

Desi

Love it. Now go fish that homework out of the toilet, convince yourself that it was a clean toilet, blow-dry it off, remind yourself there are worse things in life, and be on your way. ?

Soaking in the Truth

Scripture to encourage you:

- “The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:5-7
- “When I said, ‘My foot is slipping!’ your unfailing love, Lord, supported me. When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought me joy…The Lord has become my fortress, and my God the rock in whom I take refuge.” Psalm 94: 18-22
- “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” Philippians 4:13

Music to inspire you:

“Breathe” by Jonny Diaz

Readings to come alongside of you:

- The Day I Stopped Saying “Hurry Up” by Hands Free Mama
- How to be a Calm Parent by Abundant Mama

Living Out the Truth

Ideas to try:

- “Calming Breath” excerpt taken from anxieties.com:

Calming Breath

Take a long, slow breath in through your nose, first filling your lower lungs, then your upper lungs.
Hold your breath to the count of “three.”
Exhale slowly through pursed lips, while you relax the muscles in your face, jaw, shoulders, and stomach.

- In order to avoid rushing, try giving yourself a buffer of 15 extra minutes before you actually HAVE to leave. This will allow for surprise potty accidents, last-minute snacks, and children who just want to stop and smell the flowers (literally).

{These suggestions are ideas from novice moms. Sometimes our life situations need more. In that case, seeking out professional help is the right call.}

Michelle

The other day I decided to go a little early to Sophie’s dance class which is very rare (and honestly I felt really proud of myself!). When we walked in, all of the moms from Sophie’s dance class were sitting in the waiting room while their daughters were already dancing.

? ? Horrified, I realized I was 45 minutes late, not 15 minutes early! UGH! In that moment, I felt like all of those moms had it so much more together than me.?

Sometimes I feel like I am trying to keep up and everyone else seems to have their act together…

Anna

I’ve so been there! Lately for me, my worry is that I’m doing too much, trying to work outside my home and be a mom at the same time. I look at other moms who are totally focusing on their kids and their home and I feel like they’ve really got it together and I don’t! ?

Michelle

I know…I look at these moms who are always caught up on dishes, spend an hour reading with their child each day, and somehow find time to exercise consistently, and I do not measure up to that.

Desi

Heck, I’m so behind I can’t even find the measuring stick! ?

Anna

? Speaking of not measuring up…I had lunch with Benjamin at school yesterday. I have been so busy at work, and I finally had time to go. I helped him open up his pre-packaged lunch, and then I just stared at it! I instantly felt like a “bad mom” because it was SAD-looking! Why on Earth was I buying those for so long? I hadn’t even looked inside one of them to see what they were really eating.

Michelle

I know what you’re saying. You start asking, what is wrong with me?? Why can’t I rock it like all the other moms?

Desi

I feel like that ALL.THE.TIME. The other day, after fighting with my husband all the way to church about getting the kids ready on Sunday, we walked in behind a mom friend that was by herself with FOUR kids. I instantly felt ashamed and like a failure.

Michelle

Yes…that’s what I felt. ? But why do I feel like a failure in those moments? Am I missing something?

Desi

Yes. You’re missing that big bow for Sophie’s hair. Kidding! You never seem to forget that! ???

Michelle

You know me well! ? ?

Desi

But seriously, you’re not missing anything. Why do we compare ourselves so much? It only makes us more tired, weary, and defeated.

Anna

You’re so right. I’ve been realizing sometimes I am comparing myself to someone who has a totally different set of circumstances than me. We’re not even in the same boat – so why do I think we should be doing things the same way?

Michelle

I totally know what you are saying. We focus too much on all of the ways it appears other moms are rocking it and we forget to look at the ways we are using our gifts well. Because Anna, I look at you from the outside and I think you are totally killing it as a mom who is balancing many things!?

Anna

Aww, thanks. I don’t think we give ourselves enough credit for what we do! And then again, our identity isn’t wrapped up in what we DO or don’t do. Or at least it shouldn’t be. But we subconsciously tell ourselves things like, “See, you are not as on top of your laundry as she is… Therefore, you are not a good mom.” How do we make that leap? That is NOT the truth we need to be telling ourselves!

Michelle

You nailed it. I think comparison goes screaming down the wrong path when I go from, “Oh wow, that mom looks great with her non-yoga-pants outfit and make-up” to “She is a good mom; I am still in yoga pants with greasy hair, so therefore, I am not.”

Anna

Exactly!

Desi

Oh, you guys are not alone. I think it goes back to grace…especially grace to self. Instead of chastising ourselves to “Get it together!” we need to hear God saying,”The point is not about ‘having it together.’ The point is knowing who you are. You are my daughter, and I love you. Let My voice be the one that reigns in your mind and heart and let ME be the measuring stick you use.”

Michelle

That is so what I needed to hear today!?

Desi

Me too! ? Because you know, this whole motherhood thing is not about us anyway; it’s about what He is doing in us and learning to see ourselves from His point of view…with His eyes of grace. When we take our focus off Him and put it on other people and how we stack up next to them, we’ll always be left feeling inadequate.

Michelle

Yes. I think you’re so right. It’s all about adjusting my perspective. I like what you said, Desi, about “seeing myself from His point of view.” More of that in my life ? — especially when toys are strewn all over my floor and dinner is picked up in the drive-thru on the way home!

Anna

The drive-thru? What kind of mom does that? ? Just kidding! McDonald’s knows me well. ?

Soaking in the Truth

Scripture to encourage you:

- “My Grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” 2 Corinthians 12:9
- “Let everyone be sure to do his very best, for then he will have the personal satisfaction of work done well and won’t need to compare himself with someone else.” Galatians 6:4, Living Bible
- “A sound mind makes for a robust body, but runaway emotions corrode the bones.” Proverbs 14:30, The Message

Music to inspire you:

- “Who I am” by Blanca
- “Just Be Held” by Casting Crowns

Wise Words to come alongside of you:

- “Comparison is the thief of joy.” -Theodore Roosevelt
- “The reason we struggle with insecurity is because we compare our behind-the-scenes with everyone else’s highlight reel.” -Steve Furtick
- “Use technology to connect not compare.” – Shauna Niequist
- Comparison Among Moms by Erin Loechner
- When I Feel Like I Don’t Measure Up by Renee Swope
- I Didn’t Do Anything Today Because of You by Samantha Wassel
- Don’t Compare Yourself To Others by Rick Warren
- How to Live a Brave and Beautiful Life by Alicia Bruxvoort

Living Out the Truth

Ideas to try:

- Take a few minutes in your day to quiet your heart and listen to God’s voice. He is so delighted in who you are, not just what you accomplish but sometimes we don’t hear this truth enough.
- Make a point to choose gratitude for what is going well in your life instead of looking at how well it appears others are doing.
- Soak in the truth from the verses mentioned in When I Feel I Don’t Measure Up and consider placing them in a prominent place in your house (like the bathroom mirror) to remind yourself of Truth.
- Sometimes when I compare myself to others, I am tempted to find something wrong with that person so I make myself feel better. Instead, let’s change our perspective and ask – how can I celebrate this mom? Food for thought: “Girls compete with each other, women empower one another.”

{These suggestions are ideas from novice moms. Sometimes our life situations need more. In that case, seeking out professional help is the right call.}

Category Archives: Mom Life

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