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Category Archives: Mom Win

Moms in Progress: Erin Durbin

2 / 11 / 202 / 12 / 20

Anna
Anna

Hey, Texting the Truth moms! You are going to love this text convo with one of the most honest, hard-working moms I have ever known, and a mom of two boys who have ADHD — Erin Durbin!

Hey, Erin! Thanks for talking with us!

Anna
Erin

Hey everyone! Thanks for asking me to write!

Anna
Anna

Tell us a little about this beautiful picture (you guys are so photogenic)! And tell us about these two handsome Durbin boys.

Anna
Erin

I am very proud of this not so perfect family. We have all learned so much about each other and ourselves throughout the years. 

Evan is 10 and Mason will be 8 in a couple of weeks. Evan is smart and mechanically inclined. Mason is my creative architect.

Anna
Anna

Hmm, smart and creative. Sounds like a certain famous hairstylist I know…?

Anna
Erin

Haha—I don’t know about famous, but yes I am a hairstylist running my own business, so I wear all the hats! Accountant, receptionist, cleaning lady and buyer. But, most importantly, my chair is my ministry and my purpose is to be a good friend, listen, and give advice if asked or needed.

Anna
Anna

As a friend and client of 14 years, I have loved talking with you while you do my hair! So many great conversations have come from that chair, I bet! You have a pretty cool job.

Anna
Erin

I really do!!! I love my job.

Anna
Anna

Okay, on to the deeper stuff. I know that you have been really challenged over the past few years when it comes to parenting and learning more about ADHD. I know, too, that there are a lot of moms out there who are experiencing similar things. Can you talk to us about what you’ve been through?

Anna
Erin

My husband and I have been on a very long journey these past few years trying to get control of bad behavior with both of our children. This has affected everything: home life, classroom settings, caregivers, and even summer camps. No one likes to see their children suffer. It became such a problem that we needed to seek medical attention. This behavior was beginning to have real life consequences that would affect our family as a whole. Long story short, our children both have Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD).  We have seen lots of different doctors, psychiatrists, and psychologists trying to find the best route to help the boys. It hasn’t been easy between insurance and finding the most capable professionals in the field, but we have finally found “our people” for now.

Anna
Anna

I’ve watched you guys fight for your boys, through all the ups and downs, all the tears and the victories. Your stamina has inspired me!

Anna
Erin

Thank you, and it’s really an ongoing journey, but I feel like the kids are finally set up for success currently. Evan has gone from C’s and D’s to A’s and B’s in just one quarter of school. He gets along much better with his peers because he is able to control his impulses. Mason is currently using an IEP and is slowly catching up to the other students in his grade.

Anna
Anna

THAT IS AWESOME!!! I know that it hasn’t been easy, but look at how far they have come!

Anna
Erin

Yes — God has been teaching me patience. I prayed for it, and He gave me ALL opportunities to be patient. Boy have I made mistakes. So many mistakes. I am a work in progress myself. God has been diligently chipping away at me to make me a better mother.

Erin

Do you have any general words of encouragement for other moms in the trenches like you?

Erin

I have been looking forward to this question.  Ever since I was asked to write for Texting the Truth, God has been handing me material. I mean bombarding me with it! Sometimes He is not so subtle. 

I’ve learned that negative self talk is so damaging to your soul. It doesn’t come from God because God is love. We as mothers put so much pressure on ourselves, and society won’t let you get away with a thing. People spout judgement, and they always seem to know exactly what you “should” have done to stop this.

However, I am not the creator of these unique individuals who are my sons. Yes, I grew them in my womb, but God knitted them to be who they were going to be. Believe it or not, God made me the perfect mother for these boys. I have been called to be their shepherd, not their Creator. I have had to come to terms with what I have control of and what I do not. We as parents make mistakes just as our parents did with us.  When our children do it, we tell them, it’s OK to make mistakes because that is how we learn. Why is it that we don’t take that same advice? Do we shame our children when they keep making the same mistakes over and over? Well, let’s be honest, sometimes I do; but I’m working on that. Does it mean I love my children any less and I’m going to give up on them? Of course not. This is the way our God the Father feels about us.

Anna
Anna

So true!

Anna
Erin

Matthew 11:28-30 says. “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

You cannot control everything. When we try we set ourselves up for failure and disappointment. Give it to God and trust in the Lord with all your heart.

Anna
Anna

Do you have anything else you would like to add?

Anna
Erin

If you are a mother and are struggling with the symptoms of ADHD or know love or care for a child with ADHD, please watch this video. ADHD: Essential Ideas for Parents by Dr. Russell Barkley, one of the leading professionals in the field. Get yourself an education that way you don’t feel like a fish out of water at that IEP meeting. If you need support please visit www.CHADD.org for information and resources. There are groups on Facebook and even real live people in your area that can offer advice and encouragement. Become the expert on what you are working with.  

This is what I have learned from this whole journey. I am a great mom. I’m not a perfect mom, but I am a mom in progress.

Do you have a story to tell? Would you like to be featured in a future Moms in Progress post?  Just click here and answer a few questions to share the details of your story. We will do the rest!

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Moms in Progress: Katie Duh

2 / 5 / 202 / 4 / 20

Jo

Hey, Katie! It is your turn to update us on your life. One way to peek into each other’s hearts is to talk about one of my favorite ways to relax: MOVIES! What is your favorite movie?

Katie

Oh, it’s an old one, but I have always loved “Ever After.” Sweet and romantic, but with a good, strong woman as the main character. And some funny one-liners thrown in. I haven’t watched it in years, though. We don’t watch many movies these days, and when we do it’s usually more along the lines of Toy Story 4 or Frozen 2.?

Jo

That is such a good pick!! The acting in the movie was so good, too. My favorite throwback might have to be “Hope Floats.” Ok, next question about favorite pastimes: Read any good books lately?

Katie

I’ve always loved to read, but for the first several years after having kids I struggled to find any time to keep up with reading – aside from picture books.? And when I did find time to read, it was mostly parenting books. (My favorite is still Give them Grace: Dazzling Your Kids with the Love of Jesus by Elyse Fitzpatrick and Jessica Thompson.) Just recently, I’ve begun making an effort to read fiction for my own enjoyment again. A friend recommended Before We Were Yours by Lisa Wingate a few months ago – and I loved it! I’m currently rereading the Harry Potter series in order to keep up in conversations with my son about the books.?

Jo

Wow, those are good recommendations, Katie. I have not read that parenting book, but I am a HUGE Harry Potter fan! And honestly, I am so inspired by Mrs. Weasley’s parenting style. Talk about a mama bear in the best sense of the word.

Katie

So true!

Jo

Since we are in the middle of winter now, I wonder … do you have any favorite seasonal winter treats?

Katie

Chocolate peppermint anything! Peppermint hot cocoa, chocolate mint chip cookies, mint chocolate candies … yum!

Jo

I know what to send you for a care package — mint! That is so refreshing to hear, just like your fresh personality and sense of humor, Katie. Next, let’s go a little deeper. What’s on your heart right now?

Katie

This school year has been a little rocky for me and my kids. Three of my four kids are school-aged now, and between the three of them, we’ve had 12 different classes and teachers over the years. This is our first year ever with any school issues, so we have really been very blessed with wonderful school experiences! But, this year has been hard.

Jo

Ugh — so hard! My son just started elementary school, and it is SO much to navigate. Would you share a few specifics with us?

Katie

Some of the challenges have been logistical. A couple weeks before school started, our district changed my Kindergartner’s school building assignment – meaning my kids are at three different schools this year. But more significantly, one of my children’s educational needs have not been met the way I think they should be or the way school staff promised they would be at the beginning of the school year.

Jo

I know you are advocating for your child. Making sure you are the “squeaky wheel” in a respectful way is key — the school system has so much to consider, and unless parents speak up, they cannot make adjustments to keep doing what is best for kids. How is that playing out at home? I bet there is a lot of heartbreak for you all.

Katie

It’s been tough. For the first time ever, my son now says he doesn’t like school. That breaks my heart!? And another one of my children this year has a teacher with a very different teaching style than my own (as a former teacher, I will admit I can be a little picky).

Jo

I understand! I am picky too. I have lots of empathy, especially since I am still working in the school system, but I am still not going to back down on my high expectations. Different is not always bad, but we have to pray and discern what needs our attention and what we can accept.

Katie

Exactly! It’s been a struggle for me all year to figure out when I need to speak up and advocate for my kids and when I need to let go. We all learn a lot from imperfect and challenging situations in life. My kids have and will continue to grow from their experiences this year! At the same time, of course, my husband and I want to make the best possible decisions for our children’s education. Let’s just say, this year has been filled with lots of prayers ? for wisdom!

Jo

Whew. Ephesians 3:20 comes to mind, which reminds me that He can do “far above what I can ask or imagine.” Lord, help us trust you with our children and provide far above what we try to control. 

Well, let’s switch to a lighter topic. I hope this does not add more stress, LOL. So, Katie, which room in your house is the messiest right now?

Katie

Ugh. Truthfully, every room. Clutter is a constant battle in our house. Our master bedroom is probably the worst at the moment. Everything seems to be thrown in there to get it out of the way and deal with it later, but later never seems to arrive.?

Jo

Same! We have really busted our butts trying to get ready for our home visit for foster/adoption licensure, so it is better than it WAS, but it is not where it NEEDS to be yet. Plus, it’s like Tetris – you clear one row and another one starts floating down right away. 

Alright, Katie – last but probably the most important question of the day.  What is your favorite verse of scripture right now? Why?

Katie

I have always loved Psalm 46 and Psalm 91. You and Virginia recently wrote a text conversation about helping our kids through their fears and anxieties. I was often fearful as a child. When I was in grade school I memorized several verses from Psalm 46 and 91 and would recite them over and over in my mind when I felt anxious. Now as an adult, when I feel worries start to set in, I return to these same verses. I even have a wall hanging of Psalm 46:1 by my kitchen table as a constant reminder (which I made during one of my church’s moms group meetings?). 

 

Jo

That wall hanging is absolutely beautiful, Katie. So much of the scripture we hid in our hearts as kids continues to bless us as women and moms. I pray my son starts to memorize some verses soon. My God-sighting this week was him getting the LAST spot at a VERY small after school care program at a church, and their scripture art in the hallways is very inspiring. Filling our homes with the Word of God is so important to encourage our families! Any other favorites?

Katie

I also love Galatians 6:9 “Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.” Seems especially encouraging in the midst of day-to-day motherhood struggles when the “harvest” sometimes seems a long way off.

Jo

Absolutely, Katie — I pray you hang onto the promise of the harvest with all of the school struggles this year especially. When the harvest seems far away, we can rest in the promises before us and the stories from our past where God has already been faithful to see us through. Katie, I am so thankful for your whimsy, your honesty, and your vulnerability as a writer.  And as for all we shared in this MiP, I did find one last quote of encouragement for us. In the words of J.K. Rowling in Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, “It is important to fight and fight again, and keep fighting, for only then can evil be kept at bay though never quite eradicated.”

Do you have a story to tell? Would you like to be featured in a future Moms in Progress post?  Just click here and answer a few questions to share the details of your story. We will do the rest!

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We don’t claim to have motherhood figured out. Actually quite the opposite. We’re a group of women who first and foremost love the Lord and want to honor Him with our lives and talents. And we decided that what better way for us to sort out this beautiful and messy thing called motherhood but to process it together in text messages? Our prayer is that as we share our real-life stories and honest experiences, every mom who visits our blog will receive tangible truth and experience real grace.

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