Laura
You know that phrase from history, “The Redcoats are coming!”?
Ashley
There aren’t many things I remember from History class, but I’m with you on this one. ?
Laura
Well, I’m not trying to make light of war, and I know this sounds crazy, but I think I feel like some of those soldiers might have felt.
Ashley
SUMMMERRRR IS COMINGGGG!!!!! We on the same page?
Laura
You know me too well! I mean fighting for freedom must have been very exciting, but also completely terrifying. If summer means freedom, why do I feel this sense of dread like everything is about to drastically change for the worse? Everyone will be home all of the time! All four boys everyday. All. Day. Long.
Ashley
That’s a lot of boys. That’s a lot of days. Lol ? So what do you think is at the root of it?
Laura
That’s a good question because there probably is a deeper issue going on in my heart with this whole summer thing– maybe some bit of a critical spirit lurking around in there that I need to uncover and deal with. I certainly don’t want to be angry at the boys when I’m actually frustrated by some discontentment in myself.
Ashley
Can you pinpoint what it is that frustrates you? I know that’s a loaded question. ?
Laura
Hmmm… what is that discontentment in me? I have this nagging feeling it stems from old perfectionist ways. I think I view the boys’ disagreements and bickering as a sign that I’m not doing something well in my mothering. And I know that with summer, the bickering and whining will intensify because we will be together more!
Ashley
That’s true! But isn’t being together also one of the fun parts of summer? Tiring, but fun!
Laura
Yes, I love that part of summer! When Jesse is at school all day, I really do miss him. But I think the shift in summer routine calls for a shift in my attitude first. The truth is they are not going to have perfect behavior and their whining is annoying, but they are just tiny humans. Perfect behavior does not equal perfect mothering! Neither is possible anyway.
Ashley
True…and if you think you’ve got things going perfectly, you’re not far off from being humbled…and most likely in public. ? What so often helps me is to lay it all out before God, and let Him handle my messy thinking or attitude. It’s a relief that we can take our frustrations, unreasonable expectations, whatever it is….and hand it over to God. We can ask Him to change our minds and the way we think about things.
Laura
Isn’t that the truth! What a good reminder. When I feel that discontentment rising, take it to the only One who can change it. The one who satisfies my deepest needs. A weight just lifted from heart! Thanks for helping me with that, Ashley.
Ashley
Don’t thank me! I needed to hear that from God as much as you did!
Laura
? Can I get practical for a just a second, though?
Laura
How do I prepare for these full-house weeks? And not that we don’t need some down-time and some fun. It’s just that with all those hours of down time I can just see the boredom leading to fighting and bickering and the whining to watch TV, etc. etc. ?
Ashley
Summer does interrupt the routine and flow that keeps things running smoothly during the year……even if it does interrupt it with fun things like popsicles, ice cream, splash parks, and pool parties. ??
Laura
Yes! Shifts in routine are as hard for me as they are for the boys. I know it’s coming, but I always feel a little caught off guard by the lack of routine.
Ashley
Maybe while we are relying on God to help with our attitudes, we can also ask God to show us what to do with our summer.
Laura
Well, I tend to be a planner, as you know, but I don’t want to go overboard and have every moment of every week planned in advance. But I do feel like the Holy Spirit is asking me to help my boys (and myself) adjust to summer by having a sort of laid back routine in place.
Ashley
Yes- I feel like the word of the Summer is balance. Striking the right chord between plans and activities, flexibility and rest. I feel like I’m taking a big, huge deep breath just saying the word. #thetruthaboutsummer
Laura
Like on days that nothing fun pops up, maybe we could have something that we always do on those days? Like we do these 7 things on days when we are home.
Laura
I know new routine isn’t going to magically fix the boredom moments or the bickering, but it might help us all know what to expect on a day that isn’t filled with camps or outings or play dates.
Ashley
Yes, a little routine is always a good thing! After all, God created the Sabbath as a weekly routine to rest. It’s something that people have always needed — rest and routine.
Laura
I like it– rest and routine. Now to remember to daily take Him my mess, and pray to focus on the positives of being together. Ok, summer, you’re coming! I’m ready for you because I’ve got the Holy Spirit on my side and He’s changing my routine and my attitude for the better!
Soaking in the Truth
Scripture to encourage you:
- “She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come.” (Proverbs 31:25, NIV)
- “Instead, let the Spirit renew your thoughts and attitudes.” (Ephesians 4:23, NLT)
Music to inspire you:
Readings and Resources to come alongside of you:
Related Posts on Texting The Truth:
Living Out the Truth
Ideas to try:
- Find out what it is that makes you uneasy about the summer and ask God to help you with what is going on in your own heart first.
- Ask God what He wants for your summer. Does it need to be more structured? Less structured? More restful? Don’t add things to your summer because others are. What is best for your family?
- Develop a system that works for the needs of your family. Do your kids benefit from positive reinforcement? Make a chart or a pom-pom jar to help. Do you need activities outside the home? Make a “summer bucket list”. Are you looking for engagement with others? Check out your local churches’ VBS opportunities. Do your kids want to be involved? Ask them what they want out of their summer.
- Give each child a personal goal for the summer. Something each one can work toward (bathroom independence, tie own shoes, master a certain chore, read 50 books, etc.). When they achieve the goal, let them pick a reward or go on a date with mom or dad!
- Encourage team work. Sticker charts are great, but if the reward is that they get to pick something to do for the whole family, then ALL get rewarded with something fun when one child fills the chart. Then, instead of a competition they can cheer each other on!
- Summer is only a few months, and before you know it the kids will be busy with school and activities again. So take some time to just enjoy playing outside and having unrushed conversations with all that “free time.” As it goes with all things motherhood, you’ll miss this time someday (even when it’s hard!).
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{These suggestions are ideas from novice moms. Sometimes our life situations need more. In that case, seeking out professional help is the right call.}
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