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Letting Go of the Mom Ideal

5 / 7 / 175 / 7 / 17

 

 

Ash

This morning I got the baby dressed in the most adorable little dress with a matching bow. She looked so cute I could hardly stand it! Two minutes before we were supposed to leave the house for church, she had a major spit-up situation on her and me. So much for looking cute and put together. Not exactly how I pictured the morning going!

Anna
Anna

Oh, I remember those days with my first born! It NEVER seemed to fail that whenever I would get her all put together with her cutest dress on, there would be some kind of spit-up or…the other kind of explosion!!

Anna
Ash

Ugh. So many bodily fluids in babies! ? I’ve learned to take pictures first thing in the morning so at least I’ll have one with her in the cute outfit and matching bow.

Anna
Anna

Smart lady! It’s hard though, when things don’t turn out the way you planned.

Anna
Ash

Exactly! I have this picture in my mind of how the day is supposed to go, which usually involves Millie AND me looking cute and put together. I struggle to let go of that picture in my head when reality is a much different one!

Anna
Anna

Yes, I can definitely relate. That makes me think of Sunday mornings before church. I get so frustrated! Then I’m a grumpy mom on the way to church. (Awesome.)

Anna
Ash

Why are Sundays always the crazy mornings when things go wrong? I hate arriving at church feeling like a hot mess! ? But really it’s a daily occurrence for me as a new mom! So now that you’re three kids in, what’s the secret?!  ?

Anna
Anna

I won’t say I don’t try for cuteness anymore, but my expectations have been lowered… haha… like waaaay lowered. #WhenDidYouLastHaveAShower ?  

But seriously, I think the first step is letting go of that ideal image that’s in our minds.

Anna
Ash

I think you’re right. It’s exhausting to try to maintain that perfect image, anyway!

Anna
Anna

It really is! ?

Anna
Ash

I was thinking about what I pray for Millie . . . I pray that she loves Jesus and follows Him all of her days. I pray that she is kind and smart and joyful. None of that has to do with how cute she looks. Though I do think she is one cute baby. #biased

Anna
Anna

(Well she is!) But we know that God looks at the heart, while we often get caught up in the appearance from the outside.

Anna
Ash

Totally. Seems like that truth is an easy thing to forget when we’re trying to surrender that ideal image we create for ourselves. Especially when we’re trying to get out the door on time with everyone wearing shoes!

Anna
Anna

Everyone gets out the door with shoes on in your family? You are a success, girl! We went to family pictures last fall and my son had only one shoe on. #truestory
But one day I realized… No one cares what we look like. In fact, if we are NOT all put together, it might make some other non-totally-put-together mom feel NORMAL. So it could be the best thing!

Anna
Ash

So you’re saying NOT living up to your own expectations as a mom is actually a good thing?

Anna
Anna

YES! It’s not my natural tendency, but when I want to change my perspective, I have to give up those crazy-high expectations of mine and stop trying to maintain that image. This not only takes the pressure off, but it lets me focus on what’s going on inside instead of outside.

Anna
Ash

I could definitely get on board with less pressure to be the perfect mom!

Anna
Anna

And added bonus: I get even more connected to the people around me because they know I’m keeping it real.

Anna
Ash

That is really inspiring and encouraging and something I would like to grow in. It’s a struggle not to be so focused on all the ways I don’t live up to my own expectations that I miss all the really amazing things about being a mom. And let’s be honest, looking cute all the time is kind of over-rated. I would wear my stretchy pants all day every day if I could. #realmomlife

Anna
Anna

You go girl! Thanks for making me think this through today. Now I have to go curl my hair. (Just kidding!) ?

Anna
Ash

Don’t forget to take a picture! ? ?

 

Soaking in the Truth

Scripture to encourage you:

  • 1 Samuel 16:7: But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The Lord does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.”
  • Lamentations 3:22-24: Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed,for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. I say to myself, “The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for him.”

Music to inspire you:

  • Free to Be Me by Francesca Battistelli
  • I Surrender (LIVE) by Hillsong United

Readings to come alongside of you:

  • Motherhood and the Art of Letting Go
  • Examining the Myth of the Perfect Mother

Living Out the Truth

Ideas to try:

  • Adjust your perspective. When something doesn’t measure up to your expectations, check to make sure your expectation is realistic. And if you end up disappointed, see it as a reminder to let go and focus on the positives.
  • Remember that God is more concerned with the condition of our hearts rather then the condition of our outfits. There is no perfect mom, or perfect child, for that matter! So it’s OK to relax and keep it real!

 

 

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Mom Win Wednesday: Kristal Bean

5 / 3 / 175 / 3 / 17

As a mom, you may not have qualified for the Rio Olympics, but you certainly deserve a spot on the podium in our eyes. There are no “perfect scores” in motherhood, but if you had a discipline breakthrough, managed a meltdown, or found time in your day to pursue a dream, then we want to take a moment and celebrate alongside you. Even the little “victories” add up to be big wins in the long run; so let’s champion each other. After all, we’re on the same team.

 

Michelle
Michelle

Today we are excited to feature Kristal Bean!

Michelle
Kristal

Hello! I’m Kristal. I’m a wife and a mommy to three sweet girls age three and under! Our home is full of giggles, the color pink, and more plastic dinosaurs than you can count. In my former life before kids, I wore pencil skirts and changed my purse to match my outfit. These days, I’m in leggings and my two-year-old diaper bag is still going strong! What an adventure motherhood is – God is growing and changing me in ways I never saw coming. 
?

The photo is of me and my oldest daughter, taken on the day we found out #2 was on her way. It just so happened we had family photos scheduled for the same day that pregnancy test was positive. What a beautiful memory – I remember being overwhelmed with thankfulness for the daughter I was holding, and also for the baby we were expecting.

Michelle
Michelle

That is so sweet. And I totally hear you about the diaper bag and leggings. ?

Do you wear any other hats in addition to your [big, gigantic, hugely significant] Mom Hat? 

Michelle
Kristal

 

In addition to my Mom Hat, I’m also a maternity and newborn photographer. Photography is my oasis in the midst of the chaos! I love celebrating motherhood with mamas-to-be and brand new parents. There is such love, joy, expectation and excitement during pregnancy and then right after baby arrives. Who wouldn’t want to photograph that?

[To follow: www.kristalbeanphotography.com and @kristalbeanphotography]

Michelle
Michelle

I bet that is such a sweet opportunity for you to gain a glimpse into such an exciting time full of anticipation. I know my maternity and newborn photos are some of my most favorite things I have.

Tell us about your kids…

Michelle
Kristal

In just the last few weeks, my oldest daughter has turned into a little girl right before my eyes – her toddlerhood is officially over. She’s got an opinion about everything, is fiercely protective of her sisters and is very in tune with people around her. Thankfully, she still loves to crawl up in my lap and cuddle. I can’t believe how fast she’s growing up, which is exciting and bittersweet at the same time.

My second kiddo is almost 2 and she keeps me on my toes! She is my mischievous little munchkin who is literally always climbing on something! I love her smile and how when she enjoys something, whether it is food or an activity, she soaks in every little thing about it. She teaches me how to be joyful in the little things – cucumber slices, sunshine, flowers, favorite books.

My youngest is also our last baby. Just typing that makes me tear up. She’s almost five months old and we’re still at the up-every-night stage, but I think it’s coming to a close. At times I am so ready for the exhausted-all-the-time phase to pass – oh, to sleep all night! But I know she’ll be chasing her sisters around all too soon and I won’t have a tiny baby anymore. She’s so patient and when she smiles, her entire face lights up. She is as happy as can be whether we’re up together at 3 am or she’s watching me cook dinner in the evenings.

Michelle
Michelle

I know what you mean about sleep. I just told my husband yesterday that I thought once we were out of the baby stage (my youngest is 2), we would start sleeping through the night again but it’s inevitable that many nights a week at least one of my girls gets me up at least once a night. ?  I’m learning to roll with it but aren’t those nights when you sleep through the entire night magical? ☺️

What is a recent mom win you experienced that took time and perseverance to accomplish?

Michelle
Kristal

Grocery shopping with three kids alone and we were meltdown-free for the entire trip!?It’s really not so bad, even if it does take forever to load everyone in car seats. When I was pregnant with my third, I honestly thought we’d never leave the house. How on earth would I manage three little kids by myself at Costco?! I wouldn’t say that is easy now, but it’s definitely not impossible. ?

Michelle
Michelle

That is definitely a win!! ?  And I can completely relate to wondering how on earth you were going to manage shopping and children at the same time! Nice job, mama!

What is a mom win that you would text your best friend?

Michelle
Kristal

My oldest daughter thinks of her middle sister too when asking for juice or a snack. We have worked so hard and for so long on sharing! When she asks me for her juice and then wants to take one to her middle sister, my mommy heart explodes with joy and pride. At this stage, it’s the little things that make me rejoice. ?

Michelle
Michelle

That’s awesome. We’re still working on that. ?

What are you learning as a mom right now?

Michelle
Kristal

This motherhood journey is about sacrifice and some days, that’s just hard. I’m learning every day how to juggle being a wife, a mom, a daughter, a sister. I’ve found so much freedom in doing what’s best for my family and not worrying about life being picture-perfect all the time. Is my house a mess? Yep. Did I wear these same leggings yesterday? I sure did. I’ve definitely picked up my daughter from school wearing two different shoes. But you know what? My mom friends laugh right along with me. My husband still loves me. My kids are happy, healthy, thriving bundles of energy. We are blessed in the midst of the craziness. ☺️

Michelle
Michelle

Amen, and amen. I arrived at MOPS one time with my slippers still on and I just laughed and thought – this is SO my life right now! I agree with everything you said – motherhood is full of sacrifice but I am learning when I keep my focus on God and ask Him for help, I can find joy in the craziness. Thanks for sharing your real life with us today. ?

Michelle

If you would like to be featured as a Gold Medal Mom or you know someone who would, please contact us here!

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We don’t claim to have motherhood figured out. Actually quite the opposite. We’re a group of women who first and foremost love the Lord and want to honor Him with our lives and talents. And we decided that what better way for us to sort out this beautiful and messy thing called motherhood but to process it together in text messages? Our prayer is that as we share our real-life stories and honest experiences, every mom who visits our blog will receive tangible truth and experience real grace.

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