I feel like I just got hit by a big, icy snowball. In the face.❄️❄️
Well that can’t feel good! What happened?
I got an email today from a friend and coworker that was very…well, honest, but a little harsh. Ouch. ? ?
Yikes. It’s never fun to come face to face with reality! Or face to face with ice for that matter!
Yeah, and what was said had some truth to it, for sure, but I also know that I shouldn’t take it personally. I shouldn’t. But that’s always easier said than done.
For sure! And what does that even mean? Personally. ?
I know, haha, that makes me think of that old movie with Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks, You’ve Got Mail, where he’s making her book shop go under and he says it’s not personal!
And as Meg Ryan said, you pour your heart into work, so it is a little personal. So how did you handle it?
I did what I often do in those situations — I’ve perfected the art of “Deer in the Headlights.”? And then I get angry and think of all the things I could have said.? And after that, I seem to bury it in my heart. But… it comes out in other areas. It’s like I just try to hide my feelings deep inside, but the icy snowball is still in there…. ❄️
And it’s growing bigger and bigger and bigger?
Yes! How did you guess? Like a true snowball.
Yeah, I have no personal experience with snowballing emotions. ? Wait, yes I do! So do you have trouble letting go of those thoughts you “should have said”?
Oh yeah, for sure. But I usually talk myself out of saying them. The problem is when that built-up snowball comes out in other ways: Less patience with the kids, my husband, my other coworkers…
You mean, your massive snowball becomes ammunition for a zillion little icy darts you can throw at your family?
YES! Exactly!
And you know you’re taking your anxiety and anger out on them, but you just can’t stop? And then you feel guilty. And then you end up thinking that you are some sort of terrible wife and mother. And then you realize you let this one half-truth from work define your entire life.
Wow, are you inside my brain?
I may have rolled an emotional snowball or two of my own?? Like when I let my messy house get to me and then I take my frustration out on my family… then everyone is upset and the house is still messy!
Then do you feel like it all backfires? It’s like the obsession with what’s happening and the guilt of how I’ve reacted to it all settles in my stomach, and then I want to quit things, or I just withdraw.?
Yes. There has got to be a better way? Right? I mean, if we could stop the anxious-thought-cycle before it is full-spin-mode? Or before the snowball is larger than life or before we throw the darts that hurt others??? How do we melt those frigid thoughts?
I do know this: when I remember to go to God as quickly as possible with the things that are starting the snowball effect, it at least starts to melt my heart at the core. The sting of the snowball is still there, but God’s warmth is right there too, showing me what is true.
I agree. You know it doesn’t necessarily stop every unhealthy thought pattern, but drawing up to that warmth certainly lets me me sort out what’s what. And I can find His grace even when my thoughts are spinning.
And sometimes, if I’m being honest, praying doesn’t seem to be enough. It’s great because I’m surrendering my issues, but I need to hear back from God too.
Oh, yes! And the best way to hear from Him is to read the truth found in the Bible! That is what really helps my mind get straight. Speaking out loud truths about who I am or who God is, reminds me that I am not alone in my mess of thoughts. And that snowball effect slows WAY down.
And maybe in the big picture, He is using my struggle with my “snowball” to draw me closer to Him and the warmth He gives.
Soaking in the Truth
Scripture to encourage you:
- “Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life? But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.” (Matthew 6:27,33, NIV).
- “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.” (Proverbs 3:5-6, NIV)
- “For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love, and self-discipline.” (2 Timothy 1:7, NIV)
Music to inspire you:
- “Alone” by Hollyn
Readings and Resources to come alongside of you:
- Casting Out Anxiety, by Anna Currin on Proverbs31
Related Posts on Texting The Truth:
Living Out the Truth
Ideas to try:
- The next time you are alone, maybe driving in the car or during nap time, try just talking to God about what’s been freezing up your heart. Ask Him to help you get to the first, icy snowball that started it all.
- Ask Him to help you with this person, or this offense, or this irritation. What is the lie you may be believing about your situation or yourself? Invite God into that and ask Him to give you wisdom to deal with your heart first.
- Then, when you can read (not while you’re still driving, ha!), read the above scriptures. If you can, sit up close to a fire and let these truths sink into the cold places of your heart.
{These suggestions are ideas from novice moms. Sometimes our life situations need more.
In that case, seeking out professional help is the right call.}
