Fear | Texting the Truth

Laura

How is it that walking down the greeting card aisle of the grocery store stocked with cards saying “Happy Father’s Day!” triggers such deep emotions? Every. Year.

Michelle

Who knew paper was so powerful, huh?! ?

Laura

Right? I mean, maybe it’s a good thing? Every June I’m going to have a little attitude shift from the Lord. Last year grief, this year it’s a major reality check about how I treat my own hubby.

Michelle

More deep thoughts from the grocery store? Priceless! What was going through your mind this time?

Laura

Oh, you know, just that I think deep inside I fear that my boys will have as challenged a relationship with their dad as I had with mine.

Michelle

Hmm…you know what word jumped out at me? FEAR. Because you know I struggle with that. I think the trouble comes when we let our our fears hijack our thoughts.

Laura

Exactly! I don’t want to let fear run my thinking! So as I’ve been taking that fear to God, I’ve realized something very important!

Michelle

Yay for taking that fear to God instead of keeping it inside.

Laura

That has to be the first step. But to appease that fear in the meantime, I’ve realized that I have been sticking my nose where it doesn’t belong. I’ve been trying to control the relationship between my hubby and my boys– trying to make it something I think it should be… opposite of the complications I had!

Michelle

That makes sense…isn’t it interesting how we can try to control without really meaning to?

Laura

That’s so true! So instead of trying to butt into that relationship, I need to let it play out. Less stepping on his toes when my hubby is disciplining. Less trying to force him to take the boys to do something. Less passive aggressive eye rolls or well-placed sighs. And definitely less angry disagreeing with something he is doing when the boys are right there with us. And anyway, he doesn’t do any of these things to me!

Michelle

Wow! ? God gave you some good wisdom when you asked! I’m learning, too, that the best thing I can do is ask for God’s help, surrender my expectations, and choose to be supportive. And the worst thing I can do is micromanage all of his attempts. (Not that I know that from experience or anything. ? )

Laura

Of course you don’t! ? I need to remember when I want to control a situation because of fear, I need to surrender the fear to God. Then instead of trying to control those around me, I want to trust God to work on each of the boys and their daddy. Finally, I want trust my hubby to do what he thinks is right in his own relationships with our boys even if it wouldn’t be how I would do it.

Michelle

That’s good stuff right there.? I need to write that truth on my mirror so I see it everyday! ?

Laura

Ha, me too.? The reality is, my hubby is not just like my dad (far from it actually). My boys are not just like me (thankfully). And I am so thankful that God is at work in all of us! #thetruthaboutsummer #thetruthaboutfathersday

Soaking in the Truth

Scripture to encourage you:

“If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him. 6 But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea that is driven and tossed by the wind.” (James 1:5,6, ESV)

Music to inspire you:

“Lead Me” by Sanctus Real (I often pray this sentiment for my hubby’s heart)

Related Posts on Texting The Truth:

Summer Is Coming: New Routines, Renewed Attitudes
Personal Foul on Grief – Laura’s Father’s Day conversation last year
Whose Side Are You On

Living Out the Truth

Ideas to try:

Set aside a time that you pray just for your hubby as a dad. Spoken from personal experience, this has helped us trust God is at work in the relationships in our families. We keep learning it’s so much better to bring all of these dynamics to God first before we open our mouths. ?
Next time a situation comes up that you try to control, pause and ask God if there is a fear there. Invite Him into that fear because we are learning there is freedom on the other side when we honestly deal with it!
We are not saying that it’s never appropriate to step in and honestly chat with your husband about ways to connect with your kids. But our point is more on HOW and WHEN we share our thoughts rather than IF we do.

Treasured Products we haven’t read but want to:

Love Unending: Rediscovering Your Marriage in the Midst of Motherhood by Becky Thompson
For Better or For Kids: How to Love Your Spouse With Kids in the House by Ruth and Patrick Schwenk

{These suggestions are ideas from novice moms. Sometimes our life situations need more.

In that case, seeking out professional help is the right call.}

Michelle

Ugh, Anna, I am so tired. Like a no-nap-will-fix-this tired. ? ? ?

Anna

I hear ya! For Mother’s Day, I would like a supplement called “Give-Mom-A-Break”!! A girl can only drink so much coffee!

Michelle

Ha! My husband was asking what I wanted to do for Mother’s Day and I thought – can I ask for an uninterrupted time to nap??

Anna

Yes, you can! I think that’s a brilliant idea.

Michelle

I’m trying to take care of myself more because I think some of my tiredness is plain physical. So I’m doing some practical things like eating more whole foods, taking some good supplements, and going to bed earlier…and that’s all good stuff, but I am realizing it’s deeper than my health. ?

Anna

I agree. It’s deeper than that for me too. I also feel in-my-soul tired. I think some of it comes from negative thinking.

Michelle

Oh me too. I have been struggling a lot with fear recently and I am realizing that it’s tiring me out. Too much of my energy is going to my what-ifs instead of to the positive things in my life.

Anna

I listened to this message yesterday and the pastor said that every fear is draining you because it’s either about not measuring up or not having enough of something. I think my fears are both of those, and they run rampant in my mind, stealing my energy!

Michelle

For sure. I feel like my mind is always spinning – thinking about what I need to do to keep up with everything and on and on. Ugh. ? I’m realizing lately I need to invite God into my thought-tornado.

Anna

Yes! I think that is the key to stop this cycle (or tornado! I love it!). I do feel like I just want to stop the spinning in my mind. ?

Michelle

I know what you mean. I was just reading the verse – Come to me all you are weary and I will give you rest. And it really struck me that God wants to give me rest even in the midst of the crazy days with my kids. Sometimes I think that in order to come to Him all has to be calm and that is never the case over here!

Anna

So true. Calm is rare over here too. And if I try to sneak away from the fam for a little while, I end up feeling guilty about it and then I don’t really enjoy it!

Michelle

I think that is part of why we are so exhausted. Even if we don’t mean to, we have eight million roles to fill and things to do and people to attend to. I mean, I dreamed of having a family to take care of but I had no idea how exhausted I would feel trying to juggle it all.

Anna

And how much pressure I would feel.

Michelle

Yes! I feel like I put a lot of pressure on myself to be all things to all people. And I admit I have trouble taking time for what I need. Or even just letting my girls watch some Paw Patrol so I can close my eyes or take a breather. I mean, let’s be honest, I do it, but I can feel guilty about it sometimes.

Anna

Me too. You know, God did rest on the seventh day! And He called it holy! So I know that He intends for us to rest. And it doesn’t say, “And God rested on the seventh day, but He felt really guilty about it because He still had so much to do!” ?

Michelle

Ha, that is true! I am realizing that when I allow myself to rest–whether that is lying down when I have a ton to do during nap time or taking some time for me in the evening even when laundry is piling up–it’s a way for me humble myself and admit I am not God.

Anna

I never thought of it that way… humbling… ?

Michelle

It’s kinda like I am saying to God – I need You and I trust You to be enough for me. So I’ll take this time to rest because this is what You have asked me to do and You know what is best for me. ?

Anna

Yes — sometimes I think my completed To-Do List will be my “enough”, but it’s not, and anyway that never happens. So in this busy phase of life, I think I need to let God be my enough in the middle of all the undone things.

Soaking in the Truth

Scripture to encourage you:

“Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me — what how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn how to live freely and lightly.” (Matthew 11:28-30, The Message)
“Everyone who drinks of this water will be thirsty again, but those who drink of the water that I will give them will never be thirsty. The water that I will give will become in them a spring of water gushing up to eternal life.” (John 4:13-14)
“My soul finds rest in God alone; my salvation comes from Him. He alone is my rock and my salvation; He is my fortress, I shall never be shaken…Find rest, O my soul, in God alone; my hope comes from Him. He alone is my rock and my salvation; He is my fortress, I will not be shaken.” (Psalms 62:1-2, 5-6)
“As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what He said. But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to Him and asked, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!” “Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed—or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.” (Luke 10:38-42)
“By the seventh day God had finished the work he had been doing; so on the seventh day he rested from all his work. Then God blessed the seventh day and made it holy, because on it he rested from all the work of creating that he had done.” (Genesis 2:2-3)

Music to inspire you:

Readings and Resources to come alongside of you:

Walking with God in the Season of Motherhood
Pressing Pause:100 Quiet Moments for Moms to Meet with Jesus
Why Moms Need to Rest
Where to Find Rest in the Weariness
Proverbs 31: Finding True Rest
“Do you know why we are so tired? Because we don’t believe God. There is no remedy for your striving apart from finding your identity in Christ. He is your enough, and the degree to which you believe that is the degree to which you will stop striving, stop performing, stop trying to prove yourself. I love this verse in Isaiah: ‘In returning and rest you shall be saved; in quietness and in truth shall be your strength.’ It is in our letting go and in our trust that He rescues us. Yet we are striving and we are working so hard for God. Guess what the person being rescued has to do? Trust the Rescuer and cooperate with the process.” Jennie Allen, Nothing To Prove
“Seeing need and knowing only God can meet it causes us to run full of confidence, which means we can rest rather than strive. When Jesus promises us rest, He almost always is talking about soul rest. It’s why most of the ways we try to rest actually make our insides more chaotic. TV, sleep, Facebook–all fall short because nothing but Jesus can bring rest to the chaos inside of us. Through finding our identity in Him, confidence streams into our souls and empowers us to move creatively and intentionally through this life and somehow rest and enjoy it as we go about epic, eternal, world-changing, supernatural work.” Jennie Allen, Nothing To Prove

Tag Archives: Fear

My Father’s Day Gift: Butting Out

Mama Wants a Rest for Mother’s Day!