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Tag Archives: friendship

Cabin Fever in Mama’s Soul

2 / 19 / 182 / 19 / 18

Laura
Laura

Well, it’s almost the end of February!  And I’m looking at the weather forecast with bated breath just hoping that these “caged” boys will be able to go outside for longer than 20 minutes before they NEED hot chocolate (or vanilla steamers for the non-chocolate lover), and I have to find 28 various locations around the house to dry wet coats, hats, mittens, scarves, and sometimes even snow pants because all of it must be dry by the morning when we go to the bus stop or preschool drop off or (so help me) it snows again and we have to play for 20 more minutes the next day.

Laura
Jen

Ha! SO true. Why is it that it takes just as much time to get them dressed for snow play as it does for them to actually play in the snow? And yet, the layers peel off in seconds flat as soon as they’re inside!

Emily

I wish my boys would just GO outside!! We’ve reached that point in the winter where they have resigned to hibernating indoors, and we are ALL going stir crazy.  

Laura
Laura

And isn’t the noise inside deafening?  I’m not kidding, I literally hold my ears sometimes when the boys are finding ways to expend their energy indoors (wrestling, racing around the dining room table, trying to jump off furniture into a sideways tent’s window openings ?).

Laura
Jen

Ok, well that  makes me feel a little better. I’ve been wondering if it’s typical for toddlers to YELL every response? I keep telling one of ours, “I’m right here, you don’t need to shout,” to which he usually responds in a whisper. Lol, we’re still working on our “inside voice.”

Laura
Laura

I ALMOST prefer them to use up all the tape in the entire house to make their crazy inventions. The twins used tape and an old school paper cup telephone to make a zipline for their legos… in the middle of their bedroom… and I’m not allowed to touch it… so I just keep tripping on the thing!  But at least they are a bit quieter when they’re creating.

Laura
Emily

Lego Zipline? Impressive!  Although I feel your pain about tripping on Legos. Just when I think we have them all picked up, I roll my foot over another miniature piece (ouch!).  

Jen

Wow, love their creativity! We’ve discovered the joy of fort building, so no blanket in our house right now is safe!

Laura
Laura

Cabin fever at its finest! For some reason it just feels like this winter has been long. And since the flu has been bad, I’ve avoided going to some of the play places we’d otherwise go to because I just don’t want to risk exposure.  And even though at the beginning of winter, I sort of liked hunkering down, I find that now I’m feeling a bit lonely on top of feeling trapped and “deaf!”

Laura
Jen

I’m with you 100%. We’ve all stayed pretty well-isolated this winter, but our family still had its fair share of sickness, in addition to some good old cabin fever! And though I’m a person who usually likes to recharge with some alone time, I’m biting at the bit to get out and connect with others.

Emily

Same for me, and yet it feels like every winter falls into that similar pattern!  Why haven’t I learned from last winter?

Laura
Laura

You know that pattern makes me think about how I close my heart up when I don’t want to risk exposure to anything that might make it sick. Like conflict with friends or feeling misunderstood by others. I just hunker down in my own thoughts, thinking that if I avoid the situation it will go away or maybe never happen to begin with.

Laura
Emily

I’ve been there (too many times).

Laura
Laura

But that’s not always true, is it?  Don’t doctors say that sickness spreads more quickly because people hunker down?  Being stuck inside literally makes you more sick!  

Laura
Jen

‍? ‍And just when I was thinking we’d rent a nice little bubble to ride out the rest of winter… ?. But seriously, that makes sense! Containing the sickness could definitely make it fester.

Laura
Laura

So “protecting” my heart by locking it up away from others doesn’t actually help me.  It just makes me lonely and a little stir crazy.  It’s like I have cabin fever in my soul.  Does that happen to either of you?  

Laura
Emily

Yes, too often I’m afraid.  I find that when my heart has been wounded, I get into self-preservation mode…It just feels safer than vulnerability.  Although it ultimately leaves me feeling more isolated and alone.  

Jen

Absolutely. I’m definitely a person who holes up my heart when I needs a breather.

Laura
Laura

I wonder if there is a way to avoid that pattern?  I mean, I know that with real weather-related cabin fever, I have the hope of springtime.  What is the springtime for my heart?  What hope do I have?

Laura
Jen

I know for me, the first step is to get out of my own head. I have to remind myself that initiating those connections is the first step to overcoming whatever I’m holding in my heart–that God has put those relationships in my life purposefully. And though I may need a little push sometimes, I’m always more fulfilled once I’ve taken that step.

Emily

Yes, that.☝ And I find that when I peel back the layers of my heart, God is often faithful to reveal what I’m really hiding from. Once He has exposed that truth in my heart, I experience a renewed freedom to engage with people, messiness and all.

Laura
Laura

Wow, Girls!  That is some real hope!  Not only will God help me with those places in my heart that I try to self-protect, but He will help me to rely on Him as I risk reaching out to others in the midst of my seeming isolation.  And I bet, as sure as the warmth of spring comes each year, I’ll find the warmth of God in connecting with others too.  

Laura

Soaking in the Truth

Scripture to Encourage You:

  • “And when I wake up, you are still with me.” (Psalm 139:18)  
  • “Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer.” (Romans 12:12)
  • “Be still, and know that I am God.” (Psalm 46:10)
  • “A friend shows his friendship at all times–it is for adversity tha such a brother is born.” (Proverbs 17:17)

Music to inspire you:

  • “I Am” by Nichole Nordeman

Readings and Resources to come alongside of you:

  • “The Day God Gave Me More Than I Could Handle”  by Mary Alan on To Save a Life

Related Posts on Texting The Truth:

  • Warmth in the Winter

Living Out the Truth

Ideas to try:

  • Put a prayer or daily devotional app on your phone, so that you always have one at your fingertips!  Starting with some truth from the work helps keep you focused even on days when cabin fever is raging!
  • Reach out to a friend when you are feeling cooped up.  Even plan a time to connect with a friend everyday.  
  • When you have had a conflict with a loved one or a friend and think that it’s best just to ignore it, ask God to show you if that’s the best idea or not.  It’s possible that the more risky move of addressing the problem will help your heart instead of make it sick!

{These suggestions are ideas from novice moms. Sometimes our life situations need more.

In that case, seeking out professional help is the right call.}

 

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Keep My Mouth Shut!

4 / 8 / 174 / 19 / 18

Keep My Mouth Shut | Texting the Truth | Gossip can be damaging and God wants to help us control the words that come out of our mouths.

Anna
Anna

Argh. I am so mad at myself! I just walked away from a conversation wishing I had NOT said something that I said. #passtheducttape ?

Anna
Jessica
Jessica

I’ve been known to suffer from a little FIM (foot-in-mouth) syndrome myself! ? ?   What happened?

Jessica
Anna
Anna

We’re all chatting, and all of the sudden my friends are talking (complaining) about a certain person or situation that I know something about. Cue: my temptation to join in!  

Anna
Laura
Laura

Ahh, yes… That is a major temptation!  It’s so darn easy to just talk away! And then before you know it, you’ve said something hurtful.

Laura
Anna
Anna

Exactly! It’s just flying out of my mouth at the speed of light.⚡

Anna
Jessica
Jessica

I’m guilty of that! ? And I often know I shouldn’t be doing it.  I get a feeling in the pit of my stomach that I know it isn’t right, but the words keep coming anyways.  It’s such an impulsive thing!

Jessica
Laura
Laura

That pit in my stomach is the key.  Listening to that could send me down a whole new road.  I know that when I talk about someone else even in a nice way or like you should pray for this person… it breaks trust with the one I’m talking about.  I might feel good for a moment because I know something about a particular situation that others don’t know.  And my pride is momentarily satisfied, but then what have I done to my friend who confided in me?

Laura
Anna
Anna

Right…that is so true, Laura. Will they think I just share, share, share, about everyone?

Anna
Laura
Laura

Yes!  And I don’t want to be that person!  I don’t want my fleeting emotions to be what leads me in my relationship with other people. I want to be someone people can trust.

Laura
Anna
Anna

Me too. And you know, it’s even harder for me when someone or something comes up that I’m mad or irritated about.

Anna
Jessica
Jessica

Yes!  I may have an issue with holding a grudge or two. ?  And when that particular person comes up, the negative thoughts flood my head and the words that come out of my mouth follow that.  

Jessica
Anna
Anna

Yes! Flash flood warning! ?⛈

Anna
Jessica
Jessica

It’s like I trick myself into thinking if I let those negative thoughts express themselves in words, I’ll feel better about the situation, but in reality it just fuels those negative thoughts and deepens the bitterness.  And sometimes those seeds of bitterness will plant themselves inside of the people I’m gossiping with.  I feel like a terrible person admitting all of this!  I want to build others up, but instead I’m tearing down so many people around me.

Jessica
Anna
Anna

I know. ?  I think it’s so important to consciously think about building people up with our words, whether in front of them or not. We think what we say when they can’t hear it won’t be harmful, but it still is.

Anna
Laura
Laura

But Jessica, you are not a terrible person because if we’re honest, we all struggle with this from time to time.  But let’s be real–our sin is pretty terrible in those moments. Good thing we have Someone stronger on our side to help us! ?

Laura
Jessica
Jessica

You’re right!  So how do I stop those negative thoughts in their tracks and KEEP MY MOUTH SHUT?  And better yet, tell my mind to SHUT UP as well??

Jessica
Anna
Anna

I think a good place to start is what Laura just said: calling on God to help us in our tempting situations. The other day, I was heading to meet with someone who I tend to gossip around. Before I went in, I prayed and made the decision that I would stop and think before I said anything. I knew it would be a temptation at some point, but I just wasn’t going to bite.

Anna
Laura
Laura

Wow! That’s cool. I love how you invited God to help you with the temptation before you were even tempted.

Laura
Anna
Anna

And–this is kind-of funny looking back on it now–there were big pauses in the conversation because I was literally stopping my natural thoughts and replacing them with something positive. ?  (That’s me trying to think of what to say next, LOL!)

Anna
Jessica
Jessica

Great idea! I have found that if my mouth is busy speaking words of love and acceptance (even if I don’t 100% believe the words I’m saying), my mind doesn’t have much room to stew in negativity.

Jessica
Laura
Laura

If we do that, then we are free to focus on the person we are with. Building that person up and building trust between us, without involving anyone not present in the conversation. Even if it is sort of awkward at times.

Laura
Anna
Anna

And it was! Like getting a ball rolling (a HUGE bowling ball) in the other direction, over and over. ?  And, it felt like a sacrifice sometimes. Like I was a telling myself not to eat any more junk food today! It’s just bad for me, even if it tastes good in the moment!

 

Anna
Laura
Laura

Haha! Can you pop out from behind a bush with that sign the next time I’m in a gossip situation?

Laura
Anna
Anna

Yes. That’s what friends are for! Although that might be creepy. Just a little.

Anna
Jessica
Jessica

Umm…yeah. But seriously though, I think tapping into God’s strength when this happens is the key. This will get us out of a place of negativity and keep us out of the “gutter”.

Jessica
Laura
Laura

Love that! Lord, keep our conversations out of the gutter! Help us to work hard at building people up, just the way we would want them to do for us if we weren’t around. ?

Laura

Soaking in the Truth

Scripture to encourage you:

  • “When words are many, sin is not absent, but he who holds his tongue is wise.” Proverbs 10:19
  • “Let love be without hypocrisy. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in brotherly love; give preference to one another in honor, not lagging behind in diligence, fervent in spirit, serving the Lord; rejoicing in hope, persevering in tribulation, devoted to prayer.” Romans 12:9-12
  • “Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable–if anything is excellent or praiseworthy–think about such things.” Philippians 4:8
  • “How can you think of saying, ‘Friend, let me help you get rid of that speck in your eye,’ when you can’t see past the log in your own eye? Hypocrite! First get rid of the log in your own eye; then you will see well enough to deal with the speck in your friend’s eye.” Luke 6:42


    Music to inspire you:

  • “Speak Life” by Toby Mac “
  • If We’re Honest” by Francesca Battistelli

    Readings to come alongside of you:

  • “Two Reasons Why Christians Gossip” by Dave Burchett
  • “Refusing to Gossip” by Lysa TerKuerst
  • So Long Insecurity by Beth Moore
  • “Why Do We Gossip? A Deeper Look Into Our Behavior” by Life’d
  • “Do Your Words Pass the KUT Test?” by Gwen Smith

Living Out the Truth

Ideas to try:

  • When you’re tempted to share some information, ask yourself these questions first:
    Is it true?
    Is it necessary?
    Is it beneficial?
    This has stopped me in my tracks so many times!
  • Sometimes bitterness is at the root of it. If you find yourself talking badly about the same person or situation over and over again, you might be holding onto bitterness. Talk to God about it. Ask God to help you forgive this person the way that He has forgiven you.
  • The next time you talk about someone, ask God to help you understand your motive. Are you feeling insecure so talking negatively about someone makes you feel better about yourself?
  • How do we want our kids to respond to gossip? I know if they see me model talking about other people, they will learn to do the same.
  • Remember as you are practicing the art of not gossiping, that you will not be perfect. You’ll have days or conversations that get away from you. The important thing is that you acknowledge that it happened. Take it to God and ask him to keep refining your heart and your self-control on this topic. Tomorrow is a new day!

    {These suggestions are ideas from novice moms. Sometimes our life situations need more. In that case, seeking out professional help is the right call.}



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