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Tag Archives: Jen Moore

Moms in Progress: Pam Moore

8 / 28 / 198 / 27 / 19

Jen

Hi, Pam! Thanks so much for taking the time to chat with our readers. We love reading your comments on the blog, and you always have such wisdom to share. We wanted to dig a little deeper and allow our readers the privilege of getting to know you, too!

I can’t help but notice this sweet picture, here. Can you tell us about it?

Pam

This picture is of my youngest daughter, Kelly, and I at Newport Aquarium in Cincinnati.

Jen

I love your smiles. It looks like you two were making some great memories that day!
So tell us, do you have any other children?

Pam

I have 3 children… Kari, who is 40, Rob (38), and Kelly (30). I also have 6 grandchildren. I am a seasoned mom, but have had lots of bumps along that road!

I also have 2 wonderful step-children, Betsy and Jared, and Jared’s wife Phoebe, and they have made my life complete with their unconditional love.

Jen

Oh, boy, I think a lot of us can relate to that. My motherhood journey is just starting out, and I’ve already had my fair share of bumps and bruises! Any advice for those of us still trying to figure things out?

Pam

My ‘children’ are grown and need very little assistance from me. I like to keep in touch with them, but, honestly, they are not nearly as needy as I am. I am learning to trust not knowing how their lives are going and feeling good about that. Kari and Rob spent most of their growing up years with their dad and stepmom, and I honestly am just glad to be able to share in their lives at all. If there’s anything I can tell you, it’s that keeping your marriage vows sacred is the best security you can give your children. I thank God that my children have wonderful marriages!

Jen

Such a great reminder. It’s so easy to get caught up in our children and neglect the foundation that made us a family in the first place! I’m making a mental note right now to get a date night on the calendar, pronto?!

So are there any books or podcasts that have been inspiring you lately??

Pam

I am reading Barbara Kingsolver’s “Small Wonder” essays now. I also like daily devotionals like “Streams in the Desert”. I thought I was too old for the podcast generation, but I was just on the road to Wisconsin and listened to Jen Hatmaker’s podcast, “For the Love”. The time on the road passed quickly and I felt so enlightened!

Jen

Ha! I only recently discovered the podcast world and it’s pretty great, but there’s something so personal and meaningful to me about interacting with an actual book. I’m not familiar with those titles, and now I can’t wait to check them out.

Any mom products you’re loving these days?

Pam

I love the Fabfitfun boxes?!

Jen

Oooh, you’ve got me beat there. I haven’t tried those yet, but I hear great things! What’s not to love about a box of trendy items sent right to your door? I’m all about anything that can make life a little bit easier.

Speaking of go-to’s for busy moms, is there a favorite simple meal ? that’s a staple in your house?

Pam

I’ve been cooking Home Chef meals lately, but I also love sheet pan vegetables… finally, I enjoy Brussels sprouts! It took the olive oil to change me!

Jen

Yes! Sheet pan veggies are a must in my house with all my picky vegetable eaters. I’ll be honest, we’ve been in survival mode lately and getting a real meal on the table has been anything but easy. Those bumps in the road you were talking about earlier – how have you gotten through them?

Pam

At this time in my life, letting go is something I have to emotionally commit to and frequently tell myself. I did the best I could under the circumstances of the time. It was a struggle to feel like a mom when I wasn’t always able to physically be present. The facts may be real and very sad, but the outcome is what matters. My children thrive and are the best parents I could ever imagine. That matters so much more than ‘me.’ To be positive, and healthy, and to take care of my well-being keeps me able to enjoy all of the blessings that are around me. At this point in my life, to rejoice in the fact that my children made amazing lives for themselves is pure joy!

And I do listen to Dr. Laura on the radio. She says that childrens’ IQs are inherited from their moms so ???!!!

Jen

IQ’s inherited from Mom, huh? Nice! I’m personally hoping my boys also inherited some of their dad’s math ability??‍♀️.

We deal with some pretty heavy stuff as moms. Is there a “victory” or lesson you’ve learned from all you’ve experienced?

Pam

A victory? Well, I get to see my children every so often, and they do love me. And my grandchildren are smart, and happy, and loved so much. That IS a victory. By God’s grace, we have great memories, and hopefully we will continue to make more. I would love for talks and time alone with my children and I do get occasionally get that. Life doesn’t always work out the way you want… as long as my children are living good lives, that is more than enough for me. Positivity always creates opportunities.

Jen

Positivity creates opportunities…I need to write that one down✏️!

Pam

As I get older, I’ve also found that friendship is the truest blessing. Cherish with the deepest part of your heart your “old” friends. I spent last weekend at Torch Lake in Michigan. We were at a friend’s home watching sailboats float by, eating Wisconsin cherries and laughing – old friends and new friends. What gifts!

Jen

Oh, wow, that sounds magical!

On a lighter note, what is the funniest thing your kids have said or done recently?

Pam

My daughter Kelly told me tonight that her cat Ivan wakes her up every night “screaming” because he has a toy to show her. She only has fur babies… and a heart of gold. She works as a cancer nurse at the Cleveland Clinic and is so happy when she helps a patient facing extreme health problems.

Jen

What an incredible job! I can only imagine what a blessing she is to her patients. Her cat, Ivan, sounds like quite the character, too?!

So…do you have any final words of advice for those of us still in the trenches?

Pam

Well, you all are young and I love reading your blogs, as well as your courage and commitment to being such awesome moms. I am inspired by you! Don’t let go of your intuition, and always share truths with your spouse. Don’t put anything before that relationship…take time to be each other’s best friend.

Always know there is someone who wants to help you, and listen, if you are down or frustrated. We are in this together, and a lot of us need to be needed when we are done raising our children. Even the hardest times can have happy endings. Just have faith… real faith. The kind where God’s all you have left, and then miracles happen. ✝️

I have changed my heart space in recent years and I have my husband, Steve, and his mom (who will be 90 this year!) to thank for challenging my heart to change. No one knows your spirit but you – when you’re real, and honest, you can find love in nature, your faith, your people, your practices, or your children. Whatever you need to do…go find it. Because before you know it, you’re a grandmother!

Jen

Thank you so much, Pam. I know I speak for all of our readers when I say that we appreciate your vulnerability and wisdom. We’re all just trying to do the best we can, so knowing that we may hit a pothole or two along the way – but can still emerge on the other side in one piece, with gratitude and perspective – makes me feel a whole lot better????.

Do you have a story to tell? Would you like to be featured in a future Moms in Progress post?  Just click here and answer a few questions to share the details of your story. We will do the rest!

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Cupcake Comfort

7 / 15 / 197 / 14 / 19

Jen

Ugh, I’ve had one of those “eat-your-feelings” type of mornings. I hate that. My lunch just now consisted primarily of defrosted carrot cake. ?

Virginia

Haha, I’m sorry. Trust me, you’re not alone! I have had too many of those mornings, although mine usually happen at night.

Jen

Why do I do that?!? Who am I kidding, I know why – I’m exhausted, I’m stressed, and I figure, “Might as well have something enjoyable thrown into this mix!” Though I don’t so much enjoy the stomach ache afterwards. ?

Virginia

I hear you! I tell myself I deserve it after the day I’ve had because I usually stress eat! A cupcake is a little like a hug, except with a lot more calories.

Jen

Ha! Yeah, it doesn’t love me back in quite the same way ?. Have you found anything that works for you in those moments?

Virginia

Last summer I did a Bible study with a book called “Truly Fed,” by Gari Meacham. One strategy the author recommends is to say, “I don’t do that anymore.” It helps me to move forward and become the person with habits I want to have, and leave others in the past.

Jen

Ooooh, I love that. I just (finally!) read “Girl, Wash Your Face,” by Rachel Hollis, and she had a chapter in her book on eating, too. She calls it a “coping mechanism” for whatever you’re avoiding/masking underneath. I totally do this (and knowingly so) habitually!

Virginia

Oh yeah, that book is hilarious! I love her honesty. I have willingly dove into the cookie jar, and other times it’s been mindless eating, and before I know it the container is empty and I’m feeling the shame. It’s so easy to do, though. I don’t want to feel those yucky feelings!

Jen

I’m right there with you. If turning to food for a million reasons other than being truly hungry is a habit we’ve developed over the years, then we probably need to give ourselves a little grace when it comes to breaking the cycle – but it’s so hard to do!
And I feel so guilty?. I mean, I’m supposed to be taking care of this body God gave me, right?!

Virginia

I know. I eat because I feel so out of control in everything (though I know my trigger is stress from feeling out of control in parenting) and so I can control what I put in my body. But what I’m putting in or how much isn’t honoring to God.

Jen

I was reading the book, “The Collapse of Parenting,” by Leonard Sax recently, too (if you can’t tell, reading is one of my healthier escape alternatives!) and he talked a lot about self-control, and how it was the single biggest factor in children that correlated to overall happiness later in life?.
That kind of stopped me in my tracks. How can I expect my kids to learn and implement self-control if every time I have an awful day it’s “every snack for themselves”?

Virginia

? I get that! That’s why I sneak snacks after the kids go to bed or are napping.

Jen

Guilty!?

Virginia

I know it’s not a good example for them. Actually, the reverse has kind of become one of my strategies. I purposely eat in front of my husband because hiding is a bad habit and it offers some accountability for me.

Jen

I’ve done that. It’s a great strategy and kind of ironic, too, because all we want to do is honor Him in our everyday lives and be good examples to our children of living for Him – and He’s the one we can never truly hide from! He sees that hand in the cookie jar. ?

Virginia

Yeah, that’s true. Humans have been hiding since Adam and Eve. What can we do instead?
Another thing I’ve tried is just stopping to check my body’s signals. Sometimes I literally put my hand on my stomach and ask myself, ”Am I really hungry, or am I just angry or bored?”
Just the awareness has helped make a big difference in my eating habits – which has increased my self confidence. God has given us a spirit of self control! It’s like I’m tapping into that when I “check myself before I wreck myself.” ?

Jen

Yes! For me, I am so much more successful at finding the willingness to dig down deep (into the hard stuff) if I’m honoring my body. I love to run, and listening to pump-up music is like an added inspirational bonus! I’ve also been working really, really hard to go to bed earlier. I crave that quiet time after the kids go to bed.

Virginia

Oh yes, sleep has such an impact. I go to bed late and combined with the stress, I can easily cave. It is hard to trade alone time for sleep but pretty important! Good job, Jen!

Jen

In a way, it’s almost spiritual. When I’m running my head clears and it’s like prayer time, too. I think by working to better ourselves, we are honoring Him – no matter how many times we slip up.

Virginia

How do you find the time? I always find an excuse.

Jen

I have never been a natural long distance runner. When God gave me this body He also gave me little, stubby legs ??‍. But I literally squeeze in time to run even just 1 mile, a few times a week – takes maybe only a half an hour – and I feel like a whole new person! I’ve learned to plan ahead with my husband for that time to make sure I get it in. And my boys see it, too. One of them just started asking if he could run with me!

Virginia

It reminds me that we need to ask for help when we’re struggling with an issue. I would no doubt be a less stressed mom if I ate in an honorable way and reorganized my schedule to exercise, even just a mile! Because, seriously, my kids need a whole new person now that we’re together all.the.time. ?

Jen

Oh, man, do I hear you there. For me, transitions are always the hardest. I have to remind myself that whatever’s hard in the moment isn’t always a bad thing. The hard times remind us to rely on Him – and that’s what I want my kids to see.

Virginia

I really did well with the Bible study but I’ve slipped up a few times since then. But there’s no use dwelling on my mistake. I know this is an area that I have a particular weakness, but I’m going to “wash my face” ?and keep going. It’s so freeing! That’s why I encourage women who struggle in this area to really read that book and jump in to tackle it. Don’t accept sin as part of your identity!

Jen

Absolutely! It can be so frustrating to have to battle the same issue again and again. I can’t help but think, “Aren’t we over this one yet, God? I thought I dealt with all of that. Am I just not strong enough?”
But maybe he’s reminding me of this challenge again and again because there’s something deeper I haven’t yet figured out, or He’s still using it to help me as I teach my own children. I know that I can use it, that I should use it – which is kind of a gift in and of itself.

I’m sure there are a lot of tired Mamas out there stuck on the merry-go-round with us, wondering when they can finally get off!

Virginia

Yes, I was one of them! But maybe we’re not meant to get off. Maybe we’re just called to adjust our perspective a little, to notice the other people on the ride who we can help keep upright (and will help us do the same), and to not be too hard on ourselves when we fall off the ride from time to time, to be that person for others.

Jen

We want to teach our kids self-control, to persevere through temptation and challenge, to rely on Him, right?
Maybe He’s given us the perfect vehicle…

Soaking in the Truth

Scripture to encourage you:

  • “For it is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened by a yoke of slavery” (Galatians 5:1).
  • “No temptation has overtaken you but such as is common to man; and God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will provide a way of escape also, that you may be able to endure it: (1 Corinthians 10-13).
  • “I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect” (Romans 12: 1-2, ESV).
  • “My Grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness” (2 Corinthians 12:9).

Music to inspire you:

  • “You are My All in All” by Nichole Nordeman 
  • “Courageous” by Casting Crowns  

Readings and Resources to come alongside of you:

  • Truly Fed by Gari Meacham 
  • Women, Food, and God by Geneen Roth 
  • Made To Crave Devotional: 60 Days to Craving God, Not Food by Lysa TerKeurst – Bible study that focuses on spiritual and physical strategies to pursue weight loss and a healthy relationship with food 
  • Article: “Why Falling Off the Wagon Isn’t Fatal” by Maia Szalavitz
  • YouTube Channel: Dr. Melissa McCreery: 4 Steps to Break Free From Emotional Eating

Related Posts on Texting The Truth:

  • Off the Wagon and Into Grace 
  • Self Control: Relinquishing My Desires and Yielding to Him 
  • Desiring Freedom

Living Out the Truth 

Ideas to try:

  • Try the idea author Gari Meacham offers in her book, “Truly Fed”. When you find yourself reaching for a snack and you’re not truly hungry, tell yourself, “I don’t do that anymore,” and find a healthier outlet. I like an activity that keeps your hands busy like a manicure (can’t shove Cheetos in your mouth with wet nail polish 😉
  • For me (Jen), I find intuitive eating to be a practice of self-control. Don’t misunderstand: Self control does not equate to depriving/dieting. Self-control for me means eating intuitively, to nourish the mind, body, and soul, so that I can carry the best version of myself into the world for Him. Self-control means facing tough emotions head-on, rather than escaping from them. In his book, “The Collapse of Parenting,” Leonard Sax says that the amount of self-control a child exhibits by age 11 is the biggest indicator of their overall happiness later in life. By modeling a healthy relationship with food, and healthy emotional response strategies, I’m setting my children up to be the best versions of themselves, too – and that’s powerful stuff!
  • Give yourself the grace to slip up, without giving up. Disordered eating is a habit learned over a long period of time. Breaking that habit down, therefore, won’t happen overnight. One foot in front of the other – we’re cheering you on, Mama!
  • Make a list of all the reasons you might reach for food when you’re not really hungry. You might already know what emotions you’re avoiding or masking, but in those moments having a tangible list to refer to can help shift the power back to you, and steel your heart.
  • Use a hunger scale like this one. It will help you determine the reason you’re eating. When you are physically hungry, eat, girl, eat! 

Treasured Products we love: 

  • The Gratitude Journal for Women: Find Peace and Happiness in 5 Minutes a Day
  • Kids Apron & Chef Hat for Boys & Girls Ages 4-10 Anything that allows my children the opportunity to cook/bake with me in the kitchen allows us to make some really special memories. I’m also able to teach them a life skill that increases their self-confidence and autonomy, and can encourage mindful eating habits through thoughtful preparation.
  • Joie Oink Oink Measuring Spoons, Imperial and Metric Measurements, 5-Piece Set, 4-Inches x 2-Inches x 2-Inches, Pink 

{These suggestions are ideas from novice moms. Sometimes our life situations need more. In that case, seeking out professional help is the right call.}

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We don’t claim to have motherhood figured out. Actually quite the opposite. We’re a group of women who first and foremost love the Lord and want to honor Him with our lives and talents. And we decided that what better way for us to sort out this beautiful and messy thing called motherhood but to process it together in text messages? Our prayer is that as we share our real-life stories and honest experiences, every mom who visits our blog will receive tangible truth and experience real grace.

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