Tag Archives: perspective

Beyond That Restless Place

In our new Monday post, Laura talks about struggling through an “in-between” time in her life, and I tell Laura that I just got through that. I want to explain a little bit more about my story there, in case you’re in that restless place too.?

A little over three years ago, I found myself overloaded. I was working two part-time jobs, managing two blogs, among other various things. My daily routine was insane; it amounted to putting out the biggest fires first.♨️ (Oh, and by the way, I had three kids: ages 4, 7, and 10!)

Feeling like I was running on empty and not giving my kids enough of my energy, I quit my favorite part-time job (directing a musical), and most of the other commitments I had. I built my schedule around my kids.

Over the next year, I had that increasingly nagging feeling of restlessness that Laura talked about. And any time someone asked me about my “passion” or my next steps in my career, I had the worst sinking feeling inside.?

The following year, my youngest started Kindergarten. I had no more “babies” at home.? I quit my other part-time job. I started praying almost daily for God to show me what was next, but I felt like there was no answer. In an effort to make money and stay on the same schedule as my kids, I started subbing.

At the end of the school year, I saw a job posting on the bulletin board of one of the schools where I subbed: Junior High Theater Director position. I thought — God put this notice RIGHT HERE so I could see it.?

I applied for the job and talked to the principal. He wanted to hire a current staff member, no matter how much experience I had. I was so disappointed, and confused–Why did God lead me here??

I faced the fact that I had given up one of my passions — directing — and I couldn’t get it back. I had made a huge mistake.

Three days later, I got a call out of the blue from my former boss (from my original directing job). Due to certain circumstances, she was offering me the job again! My heart soared! ?

Suddenly I realized, it had all come together! The next year, when my youngest would be in full- day first grade, I would be able to write and direct the musical in the fall/winter–my two favorite things!!!? I honestly think that God let me see that job posting so that I would realize how much I missed directing and my heart was open to it when I got that call.

Looking back now over the past 3 years, God has been PERFECTLY faithful. Although it felt incredibly slow, He had it all along. And He knew the desires of my heart when I wasn’t even ready to admit what they were. He knew I needed to clear my plate and start over.

Now, honestly, the restless feeling is totally gone. When I think about my path ahead, I don’t know exactly where it will go, but I feel much more at peace that He’s already preparing it for me–good things.?

If you are feeling lost today, not sure what your future holds, hang on. He’s working on it. He’s always up ahead of us, preparing the way.? And do not fear saying “no” to something right now. If it’s the right thing for your life, God will bring it back around.
?Anna

Dealing with Our Anxiety and Embarrassment

Wow! ? I can completely identify with this week’s post!

I am finally admitting to myself that I no longer have the child I expected to have. When I was pregnant and daydreaming about my sweet baby, my fantasies never included days of shouting matches, embarrassing meltdowns in the Home Goods parking lot, repeated potty accidents or my child attempting to avoid a bath as if I was putting him into a vat of acid.

No one likes feeling out of control, especially moms who are expected to have it all together. Unfortunately we believe that lie often, and so we look to our children to help fulfill that expectation. Little Susie, I know you probably have an hour of Bubble Guppies on your day’s agenda but I’m really going to need you to be extra good because I need to impress Rhonda from the PTA. We’ll be seeing her at school pickup so be sure to brush your hair. Mysteriously, little Susie ends up rolling around in the grass and shrieking at the top of her lungs as you struggle to assist her into the car. In case you’re wondering, Susie can feel your anxiety as you attempt to hurry her and she resists even more than usual. It’s not a child’s job to help to calm her parent.

My anxiety and its manifestation as anger may not be the direct cause of my child’s poor choices but it acts as an accelerant on a fire. If my child was actually on fire, I’d extinguish the fire, not yell at them to stop being on fire. So why don’t I? OR How can I get help to put out the metaphorical fires instead?

Kirk Martin, founder of Celebrate Calm, has designed numerous parenting programs. He developed the 30 Days to Calm program because “the quickest way to change your child’s behavior is to change yours.” Through his podcast I learned many strategies to help me with own anxiety and how to calm my strong-willed child. I have seen firsthand an improvement in our family’s atmosphere within one week of implementing his strategies. What a gift!

One of his most convicting statements is that from our anxiety, we approach our children with a “I need you to behave so that I can” mentality. Our children make choices and good or bad, however they should not dictate our mood. We need to gain the maturity to separate ourselves from our children’s choices.

Our children will do embarrassing, ugly, frustrating, annoying and ridiculous things. And that’s okay. They’re still growing and so are you. If you wait long enough, you can do embarrassing and annoying things to your teenagers. I see that as something to look forward to…?

Give yourself grace, Mama. God does the same for you!

?Virginia