Finding Warmth in the Waiting

Michelle
Michelle

Ok, can I be honest? I kinda envisioned a lot of motherhood being where you hang out with your group of mom friends at each other’s houses, swap babysitting, make dinner for each other, and basically live life closely together. Maybe like a mix between Sister Wives and Anne of Green Gables? 🙃

Michelle
Emily

Same here!  I think I expected my “mom” friendships to be similar to my college friendships and I think the thing I miss the most about living under one roof with a group of my closest girlfriends is feeling known on so many heart levels. 💛

Michelle
Michelle

Yes! It is much harder to feel known when you’re just trying to keep your family afloat. The time and energy to reach out to other moms can feel as thin as my patience some days. 😏

Michelle
Emily

Agreed. Sometimes reaching out to another mama is the *last* thing I have energy for, despite how badly I need it.  And it’s been especially stretching since moving to a new state.  There have been many times over the last year that I’ve had to sincerely pray for God to bring those close friendships and that sense of belonging. 🙏

Michelle
Michelle

It is really nice to know I am not the only one! I remember each move I made asking God to bring friends that I could connect with. But moving here being pregnant and now being a mom has made it really difficult to find the time to invest in friendships, and as a result, feel that belonging you mention.

Michelle
Emily

Developing new, close friendships in this season of motherhood is unique, isn’t it?  And it doesn’t help that social media can paint a very different picture. It can seem that everybody else has their “tribe” except me.👯👯👯  Although I know that isn’t true. And people may feel the same way after scrolling through my feed…

Michelle
Michelle

I totally agree with that! 👆👆👆 On the positive side though, I will say the struggle has caused me to rely more on God.

Michelle
Emily

Yes.  Reliance.👆 And I don’t want to miss that.  While this year has felt lonely at times, I’ve relied on God more than I did when I had a group of close girlfriends to lean on.  God and I have had some pretty real heart-to-hearts this year.  And while they haven’t always been easy, it’s been good to pour out my heart to Him with my needs.  Even though I’m not always being pursued by a new friend, I AM being pursued by God.  (Speaking truth to myself right here.😊 )

Michelle
Michelle

Honestly, I think if I truly let that truth fill my heart, I would feel a deeper sense of belonging. 💕 What an amazing thought that God pursues us even when we don’t feel pursued by friends or even our husbands. In a strange way, this makes me think of my last week. My girls were down with the flu🤒 and I couldn’t leave our house or bring anyone in. I was feeling pretty tired and lonely.

Michelle
Emily

Aw, I wish we lived closer.  I would have loved to bring you a latte.  Cabin fever with sick kiddos is so hard.  

Michelle
Michelle

That definitely would have been the high point in the day. 😉 But you know what? My relationship with God deepened even more last week…because I couldn’t turn to anyone else but Him. He literally sustained me every minute of every day and night.  Through that experience, I also felt like God reminded me that He loves when we spread the warmth from our closeness with Him to others. And to keep my eyes open to those who need to be warmed up. 🔥

Michelle
Emily

So it sounds like I should have brought you that coffee. It could have been a tangible picture of sharing warmth with you. ☕️ And a reminder that we are all, at different times, needing a friend to help ease the burden.  You have me thinking of how I can reach out to other women in small ways, even *in* the waiting for close friendship.  I mean, if I’m going to swing through the Starbucks drive-through regardless, why not pick up that extra latte for someone else too? 😏  

Michelle
Michelle

Such a good thought, and I think that would make someone’s day! ☕️ I think a big part of friendship is just taking the initiative to reach out even if we are not sure what to do or how it will be received, you know?

Michelle
Emily

I know that feeling well, and I’m reminded of a time last fall when a friend unexpectedly left dinner on my front porch after a really long week with my boys.  It was one of the most tangible ways I’ve felt loved as mom of littles.  

Michelle
Michelle

That is so incredibly sweet. I love how God uses people in our lives to show us how much He loves us. God has been reminding me recently that He wants me to invite Him into the empty spaces of my heart and let Him fill them up with His warmth and love.  💗

Michelle
Emily

That’s a good reminder as we start a new week. I find that only when I invite God to fill those empty spaces am I left with anything extra to pour out.  

Michelle
Michelle

YES. And now I’m thinking about that hot coffee again. I am going to find a mama this week who need some encouragement and bring her some warmth in a cup. ☕️

Michelle

Soaking in the Truth

Scripture to encourage you:

  • “Yes, my soul, find rest in God; my hope comes from him. Truly he is my rock and he is my fortress, I will not be shaken.  My salvation and my honor depend on God; he is my mighty rock, my refuge. Trust in him at all times, you people; pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge.” (Psalm 62: 5-8, NIV)
  • “Our soul waits for the Lord; he is our help and our shield. For our heart is glad in him, because we trust in his holy name. Let your steadfast love, O Lord, be upon us, even as we hope in you.” (Psalm 33:20-22, NIV)

Music to inspire you:

Readings and Resources to come alongside of you:

Related Posts on Texting The Truth:

Living Out the Truth

Ideas to try:

  • Start by talking to God and telling Him what you need…friendships or maybe something different. We love how Psalm 62 says, “pour out your heart to Him.”
  • Keep a notebook/journal on your counter to jot down things you are thankful for each day, or ways that you saw the Lord care for you. Sometimes in the waiting, it’s the only way to keep persevering – by remembering that He’s been faithful in the past and He’ll be faithful in the future too.
  • If you’re making a big dinner and have any leftovers, leave them with a neighbor, acquaintance, or friend. Be bold! Even if they don’t need dinner, they will be really touched by the gesture.
  • Did you notice on social media that a friend is solo parenting or home with sick kiddos?  Spread God’s warmth to them through a hot cup of joe or yummy treat. Remind them they are not alone.
  • Reach out to a MOPS group in your area. Sometimes we have to take a step out of our comfort zones to find our belonging place.

{These suggestions are ideas from novice moms. Sometimes our life situations need more. In that case, seeking out professional help is the right call.}

About Michelle Warner

The truth about me is that I love spending time with people–whether it be with moms in MOPS, students in writing camps, friends in my supper club, or family on our patio. And if you combine people and words, I am definitely in my happy place. One of my most favorite moments is sitting around a table with the people I love sharing deep conversations about life. Inviting people into our home and pulling out my fancy dishes invigorates me, though tackling the hand-wash pile in my sink does quite the opposite. (Sorry, Hubby. I’ll get to those soon!) I’m learning to enjoy the people in my life without feeling the need to prove myself or always make them happy. God continues to teach me that when I find what I need in Him rather than the perfectly-cooked chicken or the perfectly-timed word, I have a security that can’t be shaken. And that’s a good thing since my hard-working husband and I have two very determined little girls who keep us on our toes!

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