Be Mom Strong: Finding Our Identity

(deep exhale).  It’s been *a* morning.  You know, one of those mornings where I can’t seem to catch my breath, but I’m sitting down wondering what I did exactly for the last 5 hours?! ?

Oh, I can so relate! My morning has mostly consisted of changing a certain two year old’s clothes (the joys of potty training!??) and wiping crumbs off my kitchen table.

Sounds very familiar.  I did attempt to run a simple errand with the boys, but it was right on the brink of nap time, so the adventure ended in a rather embarrassing public meltdown (them, not me thankfully). ?

Lol. Definitely been there and done that!?

I don’t know about you, but sometimes I forget about the days of going into work bright and early (showered, might I add), putting in a full day, and coming home to a quiet house.  It feels like a lifetime ago!

Yes, it does! How life has changed! And, you know, when I was teaching the days weren’t necessarily easy, but at the end of each one, I did feel like I had accomplished something. I came home feeling a different sort of tired than I feel these days.?

Totally. Working a full-time career provided me with measurable outcomes, checklists, and results that I could see. ✓✓✓

I love checklists!? And results that I can see … don’t get much of that in the day-to-day of mothering.

Not so much.  I recently heard parenting compared to running a marathon; the days of raising up children are definitely more of a slow and steady race ?, where we don’t always see fruit (i.e. results) quickly.

Yep. And because I can’t see immediate fruit, I sometimes start to wonder what I’m really doing during these days filled with potty training and tantrums at the store?? I mean, what is significant about what I’m doing?

Yes! Sometimes I have this repeat conversation with God, that goes something like, “I know you’ve called me to this, more than you’ve called me to any other role, but why don’t I feel a sense of significance/value in what’s before me?”

I have had the same thoughts! I know that what I am doing as a mother is important, but it’s hard to always feel significant when the results aren’t visible or noticed, which I think is what I’ve realized I miss about working full-time. I miss having someone else tell me that I’m doing a good job.

Me too!! Those words of affirmation went a long way in motivating and encouraging me.  So much of being a mom goes unnoticed– especially the mundane, day-to-day tasks.  I’ve realized over the last five years since becoming a mom how much of my identity was wrapped up in both the work I did and the praise and affirmation I received. ??

Yes! From striving to get good grades in high school to looking for praise in my career and to now wanting to please every mom friend I have … I think I’ve also let my identity be determined by what I do and what other people think about what I do. Why do I do that?!?

I’m right there with you, friend.  And while those accolades are nice, they don’t offer any truth about who God says we are.  The praise of others will always change, but what God says about our identity in Him will always remain the same, regardless of the season we find ourselves in as mothers. ?

So, so true! Nothing will ever change that God made me and loves me. Seems so simple, but I think I need to repeat that truth over and over to myself. Because if I really understand that – deep, deep down in my heart – then I won’t need visible results and someone else’s praise to tell me I am significant. My identity is secure, because I am made and loved by God.

Indeed☝. I know when I walk confidently in those truths, it impacts my countenance, the grace that I extend to my children, and freedom I have in my other relationships.  I can hold my head high, even in a difficult moment like today (i.e. public meltdown). When God’s Word is at the foundation of my identity, it truly flows into all areas of my life.  

Amen, sister. Now I can get back to potty training with a whole new mindset.?