Cupcake Comfort

Ugh, I’ve had one of those “eat-your-feelings” type of mornings. I hate that. My lunch just now consisted primarily of defrosted carrot cake. ?

Haha, I’m sorry. Trust me, you’re not alone! I have had too many of those mornings, although mine usually happen at night.

Why do I do that?!? Who am I kidding, I know why – I’m exhausted, I’m stressed, and I figure, “Might as well have something enjoyable thrown into this mix!” Though I don’t so much enjoy the stomach ache afterwards. ?

I hear you! I tell myself I deserve it after the day I’ve had because I usually stress eat! A cupcake is a little like a hug, except with a lot more calories.

Ha! Yeah, it doesn’t love me back in quite the same way ?. Have you found anything that works for you in those moments?

Last summer I did a Bible study with a book called “Truly Fed,” by Gari Meacham. One strategy the author recommends is to say, “I don’t do that anymore.” It helps me to move forward and become the person with habits I want to have, and leave others in the past.

Ooooh, I love that. I just (finally!) read “Girl, Wash Your Face,” by Rachel Hollis, and she had a chapter in her book on eating, too. She calls it a “coping mechanism” for whatever you’re avoiding/masking underneath. I totally do this (and knowingly so) habitually!

Oh yeah, that book is hilarious! I love her honesty. I have willingly dove into the cookie jar, and other times it’s been mindless eating, and before I know it the container is empty and I’m feeling the shame. It’s so easy to do, though. I don’t want to feel those yucky feelings!

I’m right there with you. If turning to food for a million reasons other than being truly hungry is a habit we’ve developed over the years, then we probably need to give ourselves a little grace when it comes to breaking the cycle – but it’s so hard to do!
And I feel so guilty?. I mean, I’m supposed to be taking care of this body God gave me, right?!

I know. I eat because I feel so out of control in everything (though I know my trigger is stress from feeling out of control in parenting) and so I can control what I put in my body. But what I’m putting in or how much isn’t honoring to God.

I was reading the book, “The Collapse of Parenting,” by Leonard Sax recently, too (if you can’t tell, reading is one of my healthier escape alternatives!) and he talked a lot about self-control, and how it was the single biggest factor in children that correlated to overall happiness later in life?.
That kind of stopped me in my tracks. How can I expect my kids to learn and implement self-control if every time I have an awful day it’s “every snack for themselves”?

? I get that! That’s why I sneak snacks after the kids go to bed or are napping.

Guilty!?

I know it’s not a good example for them. Actually, the reverse has kind of become one of my strategies. I purposely eat in front of my husband because hiding is a bad habit and it offers some accountability for me.

I’ve done that. It’s a great strategy and kind of ironic, too, because all we want to do is honor Him in our everyday lives and be good examples to our children of living for Him – and He’s the one we can never truly hide from! He sees that hand in the cookie jar. ?

Yeah, that’s true. Humans have been hiding since Adam and Eve. What can we do instead?
Another thing I’ve tried is just stopping to check my body’s signals. Sometimes I literally put my hand on my stomach and ask myself, ”Am I really hungry, or am I just angry or bored?”
Just the awareness has helped make a big difference in my eating habits – which has increased my self confidence. God has given us a spirit of self control! It’s like I’m tapping into that when I “check myself before I wreck myself.” ?

Yes! For me, I am so much more successful at finding the willingness to dig down deep (into the hard stuff) if I’m honoring my body. I love to run, and listening to pump-up music is like an added inspirational bonus! I’ve also been working really, really hard to go to bed earlier. I crave that quiet time after the kids go to bed.

Oh yes, sleep has such an impact. I go to bed late and combined with the stress, I can easily cave. It is hard to trade alone time for sleep but pretty important! Good job, Jen!

In a way, it’s almost spiritual. When I’m running my head clears and it’s like prayer time, too. I think by working to better ourselves, we are honoring Him – no matter how many times we slip up.

How do you find the time? I always find an excuse.

I have never been a natural long distance runner. When God gave me this body He also gave me little, stubby legs ??‍. But I literally squeeze in time to run even just 1 mile, a few times a week – takes maybe only a half an hour – and I feel like a whole new person! I’ve learned to plan ahead with my husband for that time to make sure I get it in. And my boys see it, too. One of them just started asking if he could run with me!

It reminds me that we need to ask for help when we’re struggling with an issue. I would no doubt be a less stressed mom if I ate in an honorable way and reorganized my schedule to exercise, even just a mile! Because, seriously, my kids need a whole new person now that we’re together all.the.time. ?

Oh, man, do I hear you there. For me, transitions are always the hardest. I have to remind myself that whatever’s hard in the moment isn’t always a bad thing. The hard times remind us to rely on Him – and that’s what I want my kids to see.

I really did well with the Bible study but I’ve slipped up a few times since then. But there’s no use dwelling on my mistake. I know this is an area that I have a particular weakness, but I’m going to “wash my face” ?and keep going. It’s so freeing! That’s why I encourage women who struggle in this area to really read that book and jump in to tackle it. Don’t accept sin as part of your identity!

Absolutely! It can be so frustrating to have to battle the same issue again and again. I can’t help but think, “Aren’t we over this one yet, God? I thought I dealt with all of that. Am I just not strong enough?”
But maybe he’s reminding me of this challenge again and again because there’s something deeper I haven’t yet figured out, or He’s still using it to help me as I teach my own children. I know that I can use it, that I should use it – which is kind of a gift in and of itself.

I’m sure there are a lot of tired Mamas out there stuck on the merry-go-round with us, wondering when they can finally get off!

Yes, I was one of them! But maybe we’re not meant to get off. Maybe we’re just called to adjust our perspective a little, to notice the other people on the ride who we can help keep upright (and will help us do the same), and to not be too hard on ourselves when we fall off the ride from time to time, to be that person for others.

We want to teach our kids self-control, to persevere through temptation and challenge, to rely on Him, right?
Maybe He’s given us the perfect vehicle…