It snowed last night and into this morning. In North Carolina, this is always a small miracle. The sacred way snow adds beauty to every limb of every tree…my crooked birdhouse on a pole in the backyard…the way my dog prances through the crisp blanket of white…all small miracles. It’s like this: just when I gave up on winter and broke out my Easter decorations, God came through for my son’s Christmas prayer for snow. He kept the faith, even after I let go of the dream. This happens quite often, where my six year old is able to experience pure joy and wonder and simple faith — and I am the one who struggles to be vulnerable enough to soak in the miraculous.
God shows He is in control so clearly with the weather, doesn’t He? But when I consider the snow, I also see him in control of our current season like this: just when my husband and I decided to close the season of baby-making, a little “snow” fell onto our marriage. The last three years have been rife with loss: death of four close family members and my husband’s struggle with chronic illness compounded with my own health struggle… all to come out on the other side with our healthy, thriving son. To add to this, we are okay. We have great careers, a wonderful home and community. God has been faithful…in control. We are actually more than okay…we are content and enough. But then, snow. An old prayer we prayed to have a little girl seems to be answered, but not in the way we thought. With my body, it is true we have closed the chapter on baby making, but we have re-discovered the possibility of adoption. And the snow cover of this new lens is making us fall in love all over again with parenthood. We have scoured our home to pass inspection for our foster care license. We have been mentally preparing our son for “Sister,” as we call her. And we have decided to adopt an older girl, because this kind of snow does not have to be the way we expected with an infant.
And then there’s the other darker aspect of snowfall…do you know what I am talking about here, mamas? When snow comes, we immediately worry: will the power go out? Do we have enough food? When we go play in it, will we be able to withstand the frozen fingers/noses/feet? With adoption, the worries are fierce. Will this benefit our son as we prayed it to, where he will not feel alone like we do as only children and sole descendents in our families? Will we be able to withstand the expansion of our hearts and home for this girl? Will she be the right fit for our family? Will we be matched at all?
And then comes the snow nostalgia. “Do you remember when it snowed before?” my husband reminds me. “Babe, you can barely keep up with housework now. How will you possibly handle this? How are you going to cook for more people? I don’t know if this is a good idea.” But wait, there’s more. I face the deeper triggers of considering being a girl mom to a trauma survivor like me. Can I handle raising a woman when it’s taken me so long to get myself in fighting shape as is? Will I get buried under the weight of this snow?
Lord, help me surrender the weight of these snow worries to You, the One who controls the weather and answers long abandoned prayers. Help me soak in the miraculous once more during this season of new, old motherhood.
And, you, dear reader, here is my prayer for you:
Mama, right now I pray you will surrender to the possibility that God wants to answer your long abandoned prayers too. I pray for the miracle to arrive at your home too. I pray for snow in your life, just when you are ready for Spring.
As we approach Lent this year, may we all wait with expectation of miracles, just as Jesus waited to fulfill His miracle. Even though it was excruciating, it was worth it. Let it be so in our lives too.
– Jo
Soaking in the Truth
Scripture to encourage you:
- “Behold, You desire truth in the inward parts, And in the hidden part You will make me know wisdom. Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean; Wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow” (Psalm 51:6-7, NKJV).
- “Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a dream fulfilled is a tree of life” (Proverbs 13:12, NLT).
- “Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world” (James 1:27, NIV).
Music to inspire you:
- Winter Snow by Audrey Assad/Chris Tomlin
- White as Snow by Melissa Helser/Cageless Birds
- You Keep on Getting Better by Maverick Music
Readings and Resources to come alongside of you:
- Lent – from the Upper Room
- Adoption and the Deferred Hope of Infertility from the Gospel Coalition
Related Posts on Texting The Truth:
- A Small Shift at Lent by Michelle
- Our Easter Box Tradition by Katie
Living Out the Truth
Ideas to try:
- Pray the scriptures out loud as a declaration over your life. Post them over your kitchen sink or bathroom mirror as reminders.
- Text a friend about what you are praying for currently. Ask her how you can pray for her.
Treasured Products we love:
- Three Minute Devotionals for Families on Amazon
- EO Body Oil on Amazon
{These suggestions are ideas from novice moms. Sometimes our life situations need more. In that case, seeking out professional help is the right call.}