Girls, help! Ashton has entered into a new stage of her girl friendships… Last week, I overheard certain friends being really catty with each other, leaving out other girls on purpose… ? ?
Then I started paying more attention, and I see it happening every day!
You all know that she just turned 10, so I guess this is normal for her age. But I’m stressing out about it!
Oh my goodness, just reading this brought me back to that age and I remember how mean girls could be. I hate that she is having to experience this. And you too, sweet mama!
Now I’m super paranoid and wanting to listen in to every conversation. I want to rush in and stop nastiness from happening, but I know I can’t!
How can I protect her without overprotecting?
Good question…?
Anna, you are one of the sweetest people! And I think she is naturally going to learn these things from you.
She is going to see what kind of friend you are to people, how you forgive HER when she is not obeying, and how you respect those around you. I think you’re doing more steering than you realize. ?
Oh the girl world, it can be a scary place when people aren’t being nice!
I know! And I want to steer her in the right direction of good friends and respect for other people, but I also know there is that delicate balance between steering her and micromanaging. ?
I agree. I also think in these moments we are teaching them that they don’t have to own everything someone says to them.
When my niece’s feelings were hurt over some mean-girl comments, my sister-in-law wisely said to her, “You get to decide what you believe about yourself.” ?
How powerful that we can teach them that other people’s words don’t define them, but most importantly God’s words about them do.
I love that! It also gives us the chance to teach them to be builders not destroyers, to be peacemakers not instigators, and to choose to stand their ground even if it means standing alone.
By His grace what others use to hurt, He will use to refine. No one ever said refining was fun though! ?
I love that too. Thank you.? Sometimes I forget that trying to control or “fix” the situation isn’t what God is asking me to do. And this growing up stuff can be used for good. Thanks for steering me away from my mama-bear fear.
Soaking in the Truth
Scripture to encourage you:
- So we can confidently say, “The Lord is my helper; I will not fear; what can man do to me?” Hebrews 13:6
- And a voice from heaven said, “This is my Son, whom I love; with him I am well pleased.” Matthew 3:17
- “I praise you because I am beautifully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.” Psalm 139:14
- “But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be children of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. If you love those who love you, what reward will you get?” Matthew 5:44-46
Music to inspire you:
- Every Bit of Lovely by Jamie Grace
Readings to come alongside of you:
- “How Do I Talk to My Daughter About Being a Good Friend?” from Dannah Gresh’s “Secret Keeper Girl” Blog
- How Does God See You? from She Is More Blog.
Living Out the Truth
Ideas to try:
- Take your daughter out for a special treat and talk about the four areas from the article above. Focus on how your daughter can BE a good friend. (The last paragraph in Area 2 will help you to talk about the girls in her life that might not make the best friends right now.)
- Pray for the girl(s) who are not being nice to her right now. Pray with your daughter. Use Matthew 5:44-46 to teach your daughter to show love, even when it’s hard.
- Talk your daughter about the concept of not owning everything that’s said to her. How can she gracefully handle the situation but not let it affect her negatively?
- Look at the verses about identity (above) with your daughter. Discuss with her – what does God’s Word say about who you are?
{These suggestions are ideas from novice moms. Sometimes our life situations need more. In that case, seeking out professional help is the right call.}