A Focus Shift

Desi
Desi

I just need to tell someone else about this
 I had such a mom fail last night. As I was putting Eva to bed, I took her sippy cup downstairs to refill it. 

(Background: I give her a sippy cup of water every night to take to bed and usually I end up refilling it in the dark, in the middle of the night, so I just rinse it out with water, fill it, and take it back to her.)

Desi
Michelle
Michelle

Oh man, I think I see where this is going…

Michelle
Desi
Desi

But tonight, I actually looked at it to clean it, and saw the top of the entire lid was full of mold! ??  Horrible! I could not believe it! It made me feel like a terrible mom! ?

Desi
Ashley
Ashley

Oh no! You are NOT a terrible mom! I’ve had plenty of moments where I’ve felt the same way though, so I completely understand.  But let’s focus on the keyword: MOMENTS.  A very, brief period of time that doesn’t define you or who you are as a mother.

Ashley
Desi
Desi

Well thank you for that. ? But she has been battling a sinus problem/snotty nose for the last 2 weeks and has not been able to get over it. Well, now I know why! I feel awful and like such a failure. ?

Desi
Michelle
Michelle

I feel ya, girl. I would totally have internalized it the same way but you’re not a failure! Why do we let a little “failure” tell us how we doing as a mom? I am preaching to the choir because I totally do the same thing. ?

Michelle
Ashley
Ashley

Me tool! The other day Grace had been devouring bananas and apparently went to preschool and told her teachers her “poop was stuck.”  I felt just like you — ahh! I completely, albeit accidentally, contributed to her not feeling good.  

Ashley
Desi
Desi

Oh dear. Don’t even get me started on poop stories
 ? ?

Desi
Michelle
Michelle

Haha, yes, that’s a whole other subject.?   But let me tell ya, I struggle with focusing too much on all of the ways I am missing the mark as a mom.?  I’m starting to realize how important it is to lean on God’s wisdom to help fill in the gaps and His grace to cover the daily “mom fails”.
So I say all of that to say, Des, I hope you can feel His grace today too! You’re a good mom!! Maybe we just need to shift our focus. ?

Michelle
Desi
Desi

What do you mean?

Desi
Michelle
Michelle

Well, I’ll speak for myself but I tend to focus so much on my mom fails and gloss over the ways I may be doing something well. If you think about it, that’s not how Jesus works.

Michelle
Desi
Desi

Go on…

Desi
Michelle
Michelle

He obviously sees our shortcomings, but He encourages us in a gracious way toward growth and change. He doesn’t keep bringing up our failures, but lets it drop for good. I personally need to embrace more of that. ?

Michelle
Desi
Desi

Oh, AMEN, my friend. I think you’re right. It’s much easier to look at all my faults and “failures”. It’s almost as if I keep re-examining them as a way to punish myself to show I’m really sorry about what I’ve done.

I guess sometimes it’s easier to dwell on it than accept forgiveness.  Instead, I need to accept God’s grace and forgiveness TO MYSELF and focus on the good things.

Desi
Ashley
Ashley

Exactly! It can be such a struggle to accept that grace even though it’s completely paid for and there for the taking. So how do we change our focus from “fails” to “wins”?

Ashley
Michelle
Michelle

Well, wasn’t it Laura who mentioned how she has a separate journal for each kid and tries to write most nights about the things that that kid did or said or just good things of the day? What if we took a spin off of that and had a grateful journal – or even a chalkboard – to help us refocus on the good rather than all of the things that could be better?

Michelle
Ashley
Ashley

I like that idea a lot! I’ll kick us off — today I’m grateful for friends that I can share mold and poop stories with.  In all honesty though, thankful to have friends to laugh with, cry with, and say “me too” with. ?

Ashley
Desi
Desi

Amen! And I love that gratefulness idea. I need something tangible like that to help me change my focus. If Jesus isn’t focused on my “fails”, then I shouldn’t be either! ? ? And besides, maybe someday this will be one of those “famous” stories where she talks about the time when I tried to poison her. Ha! ? ?

Desi

 

Soaking in the Truth

Scripture to encourage you:

  • “Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable — if anything is excellent or praiseworthy — think about such things.” (Philippians 4:8, NIV)
  • “As far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us.” (Psalm 103:12, NIV)
  • “He is so rich in kindness and grace that he purchased our freedom with the blood of his Son and forgave our sins. He has showered his kindness on us, along with all wisdom and understanding.” (Ephesians 1:7-8, NLT).

Music to inspire you:

Readings and Resources to come alongside of you:

Related Posts on Texting The Truth:

I Made My Child Cry 

The Gift of Grace

 

Living Out the Truth

Ideas to try:

  • Some of our ideas are listed in the text above. ?  Especially check out those journals! ?
  • Pray in the moment. Ask God to help you shift your focus.
  • Write out some Bible verses above and put them where you’ll see them daily. Commit them to memory. It’s amazing what God’s truth does as we speak it over ourselves!
  • Talk with other moms! You’ll find you aren’t the only one that struggles with feeling like a failure and see if together you can come up with other ways of changing your focus.

{These suggestions are ideas from novice moms. Sometimes our life situations need more.  In that case, seeking out professional help is the right call.}

Unscrambling Easter: Teaching Kids the Importance without the Pressure

Michelle
Michelle

Yesterday I asked Sophie what Easter was about and I wish I could totally remember her response but it included a combination of Jesus and the Easter Bunny and something about the Easter Bunny being at church on Easter Sunday. ?

Michelle
Ashley
Ashley

Ha! I thought I was having a good conversation with Grace about Easter.  She seemed engaged and really into it, and then she just said, “Some kids have red hair.” Their little minds are so fascinating.

Ashley
Desi
Desi

Oh man. Isaiah doesn’t seem to get it at all. He just wants to hide eggs. We played the “hide eggs” game for literally 3 months after Easter last year.

Desi
Michelle
Michelle

Oh us too! ?  When Sophie responded that way, I laughed because kids are hilarious. But…confession time: I have to admit that I actually got a little worried that maybe I wasn’t doing enough to teach her more about the real meaning.  #whydoIdothat

Michelle
Desi
Desi

Why do we do that?? So what did you come up with?

Desi
Michelle
Michelle

Literally in the span of 15 seconds my mind started spinning…what if I’ve failed her that she doesn’t already understand that Easter is a very important holiday in our faith, actually the foundation, and she needs to know that the Easter Bunny is just a fun little commercialized addition, and how in the world do you teach about death and the resurrection to a preschooler… ?

Michelle
Desi
Desi

Lol! Whoa, Mama. Stop. Put the brakes on those spinning thoughts! ?  But I get it. I do the same thing! It’s hard not to!?

Desi
Ashley
Ashley

Oh friend! You haven’t failed her at all!  You are planting seeds; Seeds that are growing a little bit more each day. Someday she will understand that the Easter Bunny and eggs are merely secular traditions and the reason we celebrate is because we have a Savior.  One day we pray she will choose Him over a candy-filled basket any day, and it’s because He took those seeds of truth that YOU planted and made them grow.

Ashley
Michelle
Michelle

That’s so reassuring. I love that. I am trying to include some intentional things during Easter but it all seemed to go over her head. I know that’s totally age-appropriate and I could tell she was ready to move on to a new activity, one that probably included hiding Easter eggs!?   So I have been asking God to give me wisdom on how to guide her little heart to know and love God and I love that thought of remembering I am planting the seeds for God to grow when the time comes.

Michelle
Ashley
Ashley

I totally understand how you feel, because I always try to talk with my girls about God and feed truths into their little hearts (I have really been focusing on God making us brave since our conversation, Michelle).  But I think while they are little I think that’s all we can do is teach and pray, teach and pray, teach and pray.  Sometimes I think we put too much pressure on ourselves to draw our kids’ hearts to the Lord and forget that really only He can draw their hearts to Him.

Ashley
Michelle
Michelle

Yes, I think we (I??) make it more complicated than it needs to be. You know, maybe that’s it: taking the natural opportunities when they come up to discuss these faith-concepts and let God work in their hearts. Such a good reminder and breath of fresh air.

Michelle
Ashley
Ashley

It eases that burden for me knowing that He is ultimately the One in control.  We still need to teach them and guide them in His Word…but He will allow their hearts to understand.

Ashley
Desi
Desi

Well said. I was talking to my mom about this very subject one day and asking her how she explained this whole concept to us as small children and she said, “You just knew. I think His Spirit speaks to little hearts in ways we don’t understand.” It allowed me to give myself permission to take the pressure off and rest in Him and His peace.

Desi
Michelle
Michelle

I feel so much better already.  Take the pressure off. Pray for opportunities to teach these important things to my girls and then pray again that God grows this truth in their hearts. That definitely lets me take a deep breath to remember it’s not all up to me. ?

Michelle

 

Soaking in the Truth

Scripture to encourage you:

  • I planted, Apollos water, but God gave the growth. So neither nor he who waters or he who plants is anything, but only God who gives the growth.” 1 Corinthians 3:6,7
  • “And He said, “With what can we compare the kingdom of God, or what parable shall we use for it?  It is like a grain of mustard seed, which, when sown on the ground, is the smallest of all the seeds on earth,  yet when it is sown it grows up and becomes larger than all the garden plants and puts out large branches, so that the birds of the air can make nests in its shade.” Mark 4:30-32, ESV
  • “Jesus replied, ‘The hour has come for the Son of Man to be glorified.  Very truly I tell you, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds.  Anyone who loves their life will lose it, while anyone who hates their life in this world will keep it for eternal life.’” (John 12:23-25,  NIV)
  • “It was now about noon, and darkness came over the whole land until three in the afternoon, for the sun stopped shining. And the curtain of the temple was torn in two.  Jesus called out with a loud voice, ‘Father, into your hands I commit my spirit.’ When he had said this, he breathed his last.  The centurion, seeing what had happened, praised God and said, ‘Surely this was a righteous man.’”  (Luke 23:44-47, NIV)

Music to inspire you:

Readings and Resources to come alongside of you:

  • What is Easter? by Michelle Medlock Adams. I love reading this book to my girls because it puts into simple words what Easter is really about. (Planting those seeds!)
  • 10 Ways to Teach Kids About Easter  by LeAnn G Taylor – Such tangible, great ideas! I love #1 and #3 (just using books!) #7 is cool especially if you are going on Spring Break somewhere beachy. And apparently, in #10, Ann Voskamp shares a free devotional and idea for creating the Easter Tree. 
  • Easter Week with the Jesus Storybook Bible from Home With the Boys blog – A great reading for Easter week.

 

Living Out the Truth

Ideas to try:

  • Resurrection Eggs – A more child-friendly way to present the Easter Story. If you don’t have time or money to buy them already made, we just print off pictures from the computer and stick them in there. My daughter still talks about the picture of the thorn crown that was on Jesus’s head. (And don’t worry if they don’t get it all; remember, we are just planting seeds! ? )
  • Miss PattyCake’s Eggstravaganza – She explains Easter in this DVD with Resurrection Eggs and songs. For adults, it’s a bit cheesy, but my preschooler loves it and she does communicate well to that age group. Here is a sneak peak. 
  • Benjamin’s Box: The Story of the the Resurrection Eggs – This book is geared toward elementary aged kids and goes through the Resurrection Eggs to explain the Easter story.
  • Resurrection Rolls – I just heard this idea, and loved it!  Marshmallows, carbs, cinnamon, butter- nothing wrong with piquing your kids interest in Jesus with the help of sugary goodness. ? But in all honesty, the resurrection is a tricky thing for little minds to grasp, so having a simple visual of what we’re trying to convey is really helpful. 
  • Jesus Removes Our Sin – an experiment to tangibly show them how Jesus took our sin away.
  • Try teaching your kids about Passover – Consider reading or retelling the story of the Exodus (Exodus 6-13) to your children, particularly the part where God instructs Moses on how to remember the events that led up to the Israelites’ departure from Egypt.  Ask the Lord to show you how Jesus became our Passover Lamb, so that the punishment of sin literally passes over us because of His sacrifice for us. Kids sometimes need a good visual to really understand (goodness, I sometimes need a good visual to understand these deep concepts of my faith!), and maybe this Exodus story will be what helps you and your kids understand even more fully what Easter is all about.  To Learn more, click here.         

{These suggestions are ideas from novice moms. Sometimes our life situations need more. In that case, seeking out professional help is the right call.}