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New Year, New Mindset

1 / 4 / 171 / 18 / 17

As moms, we have many things on our plates so we don’t need more lists of to-do’s. Instead of creating resolutions this New Year, what if we resolved to shifting some of our mindsets in 2017? This word “shift” proposes a step, whether large or small, in one direction rather than a radical change we may not be able to sustain. What if we asked God, what mindset shifts do you want me to make this year?

We are excited to offer a beautiful printable of our New Year, New Mindset list. We first brainstormed popular resolutions and then discussed what mindset shifts we needed for a freer, braver 2017.  

{Click here to subscribe to get the New Year’s printable.}

{And just to keep it REAL like our tagline, the file you will get in your email spells the word LOSE correctly. ?}

In our text conversation below, we included the headings to make it easier for you to follow along. Throughout the text we tried to answer the question: what do these mindset shifts look like for us as mamas?

Jessica
Jessica Sorosiak

Clean out the house → Clean out my heart

At the start of each year, I’ll be honest I usually go on some crazy purging spree of everything in my house.  Don’t get me wrong, there is definite value in that, but this year I want to put more energy behind cleaning out my heart. As much as I long for a clean house, I am realizing God cares more about my heart than my closet.

Jessica Sorosiak
Laura
Laura

Thanks goodness, because my closet is a disaster!  

Laura
Jessica
Jessica Sorosiak

Ha! Well, talking about cleaning out my heart…this is hard to admit, but I am realizing I hold a lot of pride about certain things like parenting and my ability to control my emotions…which can lead to judgement and resentment towards others who I deem as “less than” in these areas. (Did I really just admit all of that?!  Not pretty, I know! ?)  But something I am really thinking about as we start this new year…

Jessica Sorosiak
Anna
Anna

Thanks for being honest, sister!  I’m going to ask God to show me where my heart needs a little de-cluttering as we head into 2017…I think there are some big resentment dust bunnies hiding in there too, so I can relate! ?

Anna
Jessica
Jessica Sorosiak

Lose weight → Lose the weight of shame, guilt, defeat

And resentment can be such a heavy thing to carry…along with the feelings of shame, defeat, and guilt I feel when I can’t get my act together and lose those pesky pounds I’ve put on over the year. Each year I have the same resolution – to lose weight. But this year, instead of focusing on the number on the scale, I’m choosing to focus on finding freedom…

Jessica Sorosiak
Desi

Go on…

Jessica

I want to remember that God loves me no matter what the number is on the scale, what poor choices I make, or how many times I stumble.  But He also loves me so much that He doesn’t want to see me living in defeat and shame.  He will give me the power to move to a place of freedom.

Desi

Love it. Sounds like that sort of mental shift is going to result in you actually losing lots of toxic  “weight”.

Michelle
Michelle

Strengthen my body →  Strengthen my support system

Such good insights! This year one of my goals is to strengthen my core after two babies and c-sections…and I think that’s an important and healthy goal. But I’m realizing what’s also important–and probably more so–is strengthening the support system in my life. Strengthening those friendships where we can be honest with each other about what’s really going on in motherhood, marriage, and dreams for our lives. And not just finding that support system but being that support system too.

Michelle
Jessica
Jessica Sorosiak

I agree! I don’t know what I’d do without my Moms group.  It gives me a place to be authentic and share with others.  There is so much power in finding a group of people who are struggling through similar things. It’s amazing how much wisdom you can gain from each other.

Jessica Sorosiak
Michelle
Michelle

I know. I’ve said it before but I love those words, “me too.” It brings such comfort to know you’re not the only one.

Michelle
Ashley
Ashley

Spend less money → Spend less time worrying

Oh goodness, knowing others have walked in my shoes before is so helpful to me. Like for example, the other night when we went to the adoption orientation, the social worker talked through the “numbers” and I pretty much wanted to dart out of the room and start extreme couponing that second. ?  

Ashley
Laura
Laura

I have piles of coupons waiting to be cut!  I’ll pass them on to you! ✂

Laura
Ashley
Ashley

That would be AMAZING! Well, I’ve come to the realize, at the end of the day, I have two choices: to worry about the cost of the adoption or trust in God will give us what we need.  

Ashley
Michelle
Michelle

Oh, I wish this was as easy to do as it is to chat about. The worry thing can eat me alive, as you know. But I am with you, I am praying that my 2017 is filled with more courage and less fear of how everything will work out!

Michelle
Ashley
Ashley

Me too, Michelle! And everything working out in this case still involves us being good stewards of our resources….and just trusting God to faithfully provide along the way, even when it looks like a long road. ?

Ashley
Laura
Laura

Save money → Save memories

I am all for saving money for that long road like cars and college!  (Ahh!  I’m not going to think about that now!?). We save when we have money to spare.  But what I can save is memories– there’s no shortage there. Maybe this year, just once a week–if I’m lucky–I can take time to write down a few things that I want to remember about each of my boys. It may only happen once a month, but that would still be something!

Laura
Michelle
Michelle

Ah! I love this idea!  I think that’s why I like Instagram- so even if I don’t have time to write a milestone or funny thing down, there is at least some record. ?

Michelle
Laura
Laura

I do love the visual of Instagram, but I treasure the handwriting of my grandmother!  And I just think that maybe these journals will be fantastic presents some day to help the boys remember what life was like when they were young.

Laura
Anna
Anna

Engage more at work → Engage more at home  

That would be amazing! Here’s what I’ve been thinking about: I’ve spent so much time engaging in my work during 2016 that I realize my engagement at home has suffered. When I’m home, I’m going to focus on engaging with my family. This might mean that I put off my e-mail for a while and get out a board game. But I want to  look my children in the eyes and ask them random questions. And listen. Really listen. Even when they are talking about Pokemon.?   

Anna
Desi

Good ideas. But my kids are little and need/want me to play with them every second. And quite honestly, playing “chase” or playdough or hide and seek (when they hide in the same spot every time ? ) gets a little old. But I hear what you are saying.

Anna
Anna

Oh I remember those days. That is a all-hands-on-deck phase.

Anna
Desi

Yes! But since this is where my kids are, I am going to try something new. I’ll give them “quality” play time for 15 minutes or so and then teach them to play alone for 15 minutes while I do something (like the dishes!) I want to shift to truly engage them when it’s time for that, but recognize I do have to get some other stuff done.

Anna
Anna

I like that idea! It’s all about making those little adjustments in how we function that help us balance our time.

Anna
Desi

Stay focused on my goals → stay focused on God

Totally agree. But here’s my other issue. I can see myself taking these new goals and ideas and obsessing about them. I tend towards being an extreme planner and achievement driven. ?

So maybe instead of focusing so much on the goals and the things I want to get done, I need to take it FIRST to God with open hands asking, “What do YOU want? Where do YOU want to lead me on this one?”

(Will someone please send me a text to remind me of this every day?!! Preferably around 5:30pm when I’m trying to make dinner, the kids are falling apart, and I start thinking about all I have to “do”?!!!) ?

Laura
Laura

Only if you text me the same reminder at 10:00p.m. when the extreme fatigue hits me and I realize all that has been left undone! But seriously, I think that is the prayer we need to pray for every single mindset shift or resolution we consider: Where do You want us to focus this year, Lord?  Because it’s going to look different for everyone!

Laura
Michelle
Michelle

So true. It’s cool how God can grow each of us so personally – and each of our shifts look a little different depending on the phase our kids are in or our circumstances. But thankfully God is still big enough to handle it and grow us all if we’ll let Him. Bring on 2017!

Michelle

{Click here to subscribe to get the New Year’s printable.}


 

Soaking in the Truth

Scripture to encourage you:

  • “See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.” Isiah 43:19
  • “…being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.” Philippians 1:6

Music to inspire you:

  • Lord, I’m Ready Now by Plumb
  • Made New by Lincoln Brewster
  • King of My Heart by Love and the Outcome

Readings to come alongside of you:

  • Shifts from Insight For Girls
  • In Case You’re on Day One and You Already Feel Like Quitting by Aliza Latta
  • “Here’s to a braver 2017…At the close of every year I ask myself four questions: 1. What do I want more of in my life? 2. How do I let go of what’s no longer serving me? 3. What will make me feel more alive? Braver? 4. At the end of every day and at the end of every year, I need to know that I contributed more than I criticized. How have I contributed and  what will that look like moving forward?” from Brene Brown‘s Instagram
  • “Because Christ is continually making all things new, our hope isn’t found in how well we can remake ourselves in 2017 (oh how we try!), but how He is shaping each of us to be more like Him. Jesus is all about new beginnings, but He’s also about finishing what He begins (Phil. 1:6).” from Ruth of Gracelaced‘s Instagram

{These suggestions are ideas from novice moms. Sometimes our life situations need more. In that case, seeking out professional help is the right call.}

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Fighting Fear with Faith

12 / 30 / 1611 / 29 / 17

Michelle
Michelle

So… I just found out my friend, who is my same age and has a one-year-old baby, has cancer. ?

Michelle
Laura
Laura

Oh, Michelle, I’m so sorry to hear this.  This must really hit home for you in a way that not everyone can understand.  Are you doing ok?

Laura
Michelle
Michelle

It’s definitely causing me to freak out internally because of my cancer history.  I’m such a feeler and I’m feeling horribly for what she is going to have to go through because I know that road well.  ?

Michelle
Ashley
Ashley

That’s totally understandable. I think it’s so hard not to internalize these things.  As a mother the thought of sickness, whether it’s us or our kids is a nightmare.

Ashley
Michelle
Michelle

Yeah, agreed. If I’m not careful of keeping my thoughts in check, I can begin reading into every ache and pain of mine and worrying about every symptom my kids have. Hearing stories like this kick up my fears about what could happen and sometimes it can be so hard to trust God with our own lives and babies in the midst of all this heaviness!

Michelle
Ashley
Ashley

I hear ya. I found that Facebook was causing my fear and anxiety to skyrocket.  Everyday there is a new Go FundMe page or story of a child battling cancer, or a spouse who is now raising kids solo.  It hurts my heart to see these, but I also realized I was carrying their stories around in an unhealthy way.  I know so many people personally going through things that I can’t also take on the hurts of complete strangers. It’s something I can do to guard my heart.

Ashley
Michelle
Michelle

I agree.  I’m struggling with trying to remember that her story is not mine and as sad as I am, acting like it’s mine isn’t healthy for me …even if I feel a ton of empathy and compassion for what she’s going through. (That’s taken a good amount of counseling and prayer to be able to realize that!)

Michelle
Laura
Laura

It can be so hard to keep your mind steadied on the One who has a plan for you and for your littles. Maybe you don’t want to go here, but you are in a unique position to encourage your friend.  You are familiar with her fear.  You are familiar with choices she will have to make about her care.  You know better than most how much this sucks.  You know the questions she will ask God.  The anger.  You know because you’ve walked a similar road.  Not identical, but similar.  Keeping and finding healthy boundaries for your thinking: key! But don’t be afraid to reach out to her with a prayer or a card and let her know you know these things.

Laura
Ashley
Ashley

That’s such a good idea, Laura!  The Lord definitely doesn’t give us a spirit of fear,  It even says that in the Bible. But God does give us special empathy and compassion for those around us who are suffering.  I think we have to pray that we can supernaturally have the heart for people without the fear.  Man, is it hard!  

Ashley
Michelle
Michelle

I think that’s just it. Writing this out with you helped me see a really important truth: I can use the energy that in the past has freaked me out, and ask God to turn it into courage–courage for myself and to give to others. That totally reminds me of my friend’s new book, Fear Fighting. Her subtitle says, “awakening courage to overcome our fears.” That’s what I want God to do in my heart – to grow bravery in me so that I can look at these fears in the face and fight them with truth. I wish it was as easy to do this as it is to write these words but I guess that’s where prayer and faith come in.

Michelle
Laura
Laura

Yes!  Nothing about this situation will be easy! You’ll have to acknowledge the fear for what it is, but then fight the fear with the courage that you get from God. And in the wisdom of Star Wars, may His force be with you, Princess Leia…I mean, Princess Michelle. ?

Laura
Michelle
Michelle

Ha, love it. That’s actually quite fitting because during my chemo treatments my hubby used to call me Princess Warrior. ?  ⚔️ I’ve learned with God at our side, we are much, much stronger than we ever imagined.?

Michelle

 

Soaking in the Truth

Scripture to encourage you:

    • “When I am afraid, I put my trust in you.” Psalm 56:3
    • “Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing?…Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.” Matthew 6:25,34  (All of the verses in between are great too!)
    • “Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.” 2 Corinthians 1:3,4
    • “For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline.”  2 Timothy 1:7
    • “We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.” 2 Corinthians 10:5
    • “Fear not; stand still (firm, confident, undismayed) and see the salvation of the Lord which He will work for you today…The Lord will fight for you, and you shall hold your peace and remain at rest.” Exodus 14:14, Amplified Bible

Music to inspire you:

    • Sparrows by Jason Gray  
    • You Make me Brave by Bethel Music 
    • You are For Me by Kari Jobe 
    • Cast My Cares by Tim Timmons
    • When I am Afraid by Steve Green – (this is featured on our Treasured Products page too. It is cheesy but my girls love the cd and dvd.)

Readings to come alongside of you:

    • Caring Through Cancer from Insight For Girls Blog 
    • Fear Fighting: Awakening Courage to Overcome Your Fears by Kelly Balarie 
    • Becoming a Princess Warrior from Insight For Girls Blog 
    • “What does a warrior princess look like? Think Joan of Arc. Think Mother Teresa. Think Esther. Think Mary of Bethany. Think Arwen. Think Eowyn. Think Deborah. Think Mary, Jesus’ mother. Women who [are] wise, cunning, strong, beautiful, courageous, victorious, and very present.” – Stasi Eldredge in Captivating (featured on our Treasured Products page)
    • “As painful as the process may be, that which shatters our superficiality also shatters the fetters of our fragility and frees us to walk with dignity and might to our destinies. We are not the fragile flowers we’ve considered ourselves to be. We, like Esther, are the warrior princesses of God” -Beth Moore in Esther: It’s Tough Being a Woman
    • “Courage comes from a heart convinced it is loved.” -Beth Moore  in Esther: It’s Tough Being a Woman

 


 

Living Out the Truth

 

Ideas to try:

I wrote a series of three blog posts about the subject of fear and what to do about it on my personal blog. Rather than rewriting the strategies, I’d love to direct you to them. They are based off of the book, Brave Mom: Facing and Overcoming Your Real Mom Fears by Sherry Surratt. 

  • Becoming a Brave Mom: Let It Out Let It Go from Insight for Girls Blog 
  • Becoming a Brave Mom: Face the Fear from Insight for Girls Blog 
  • Becoming a Brave Mom: Attack Anxiety from Insight for Girls Blog  – This post has the most practical strategies if that’s what you’re looking for.

{These suggestions are ideas from novice moms. Sometimes our life situations need more. In that case, seeking out professional help is the right call.}

 

 

 

 

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