Texting the Truth

once-upon-a-blog

Michelle

Hi friends! So Desi and I have been texting back and forth about the ups and downs and ins and outs of being a mom…

Desi Kippes

And let’s just say those texts have saved me from pulling out ALL my hair and hiding in my closet for days. ?

Michelle

Ha. ? You and me both! Which is what birthed our idea!?

Anna

What’s the idea? Spa day?? (Please?)

Desi Kippes

As fun as that would be, we were thinking more like National Mom Nap Day. ? (How amazing does that sound?!)

Ashley

Ah-mazing. Oh, and fun fact: National Nap Day is March 10th. It’s a Friday, so put it on your calendar.

Anna

I’m RSVPing right now. ?

Desi Kippes

HA! Okay, okay, in all seriousness, what if we were to have a group text where we all share the craziness of our days? You know, so Michelle and I don’t feel like we are the only loonies… ?

Ashley

Ooo I’ll join that bin. #countmein ?

Michelle

Haha, the more the merrier!

So thinking aloud, could we somehow make this public for other moms to relate to?

Laura

Like a blog? ?

Michelle

Hmm, good thinking!

Anna

I love getting some truth into my crazy day when I can, but most of the time if I start to read a blog, I get interrupted by a screaming child.

Laura

Or multiple screaming childs!! ???? #grammarpoliceIseeyou ?

Ashley

Oh my goodness, girls, yes! I feel like I am always on borrowed time because when I do get a second I like to do things like shower or go to the bathroom. ?

Anna

Haha! I know, I think I LIVE on borrowed time.

Ashley

Well, hmm…what if we used our little snippets of borrowed time to encourage each other? Because what mom of littles has time to sit down and read long blog posts these days? ?

Michelle

Love that thought!!

Jessica Sorosiak

Such a good idea. I think there are a lot of women out there who are experiencing many mom moments just like us.

Michelle

And I’ll speak for myself, but I know I need to hear “me too” sometimes.

Laura

Same here. There are times that we just need to get our feelings out there and know someone hears us!

Anna

That’s exactly what I was thinking. But not JUST to vent…that might get depressing. ?

Laura

Agreed. ?

Michelle

You mean this isn’t a new wave of political campaign ads?!! ?

Desi Kippes

Oh deliver us, Lord. Please no. ?

Laura

?? I need some real truth from real people.

Ashley

Right. It’s so refreshing when moms are honest about their lives. What if we commit to having authentic conversations, rather than just sharing our highlight reels?

Michelle

Yes! Texting the truth. ?

Jessica Sorosiak

Sometimes I just need a little honesty to get back on track. I need someone to help me shine light on the situation. ?

Michelle

Totally. To get outside of my head and find more of God’s perspective, especially in some of my mom moments!!

Laura

Like when life is getting a little… shall we say, hairy? Messy? Like meltdown central station?

Ashley

Yes, yes, and yes!?

Michelle

Exactly! We can’t avoid life being nuts… but we can choose where we are going to focus.

Desi Kippes

Is it going to be the toddler tantrums and mama failures or…

Anna

GRACE.

Michelle

real mom moment

Anna

Both God’s grace and grace from one mom to another. Someone who’s been there and gets it.

Michelle

Right. Real moms, real grace. That could be our tagline!

Ashley

I love it!

Michelle

I’m excited! Let’s do this!

Desi Kippes

Okay, but let’s still be funny. ?

Soaking in the Truth

Scripture to encourage you:
- Psalm 25:5, “Lead me in your truth and teach me, for you are the God of my salvation; for you I wait all the day long.”
- Psalm 86:11 Teach me your way, O Lord, that I may walk in your truth;
- John 8:31,32 “If you abide in my word, you are truly my disciples, and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”

Music to inspire you:
- If We’re Honest by Francesca Batistelli
- The Voice of Truth by Casting Crowns

Readings to come alongside of you:
- “Friendship … is born at the moment when one man says to another “What! You too? I thought that no one but myself . . .” -CS Lewis, The Four Loves
- What Moms Would Admit if They Were Honest from Faith Along the Way
- Motherhood: If I’m Being Honest from Madison City Moms Blog

Living Out the Truth

Ideas to try:
- Find a group of friends to be honest with. (Okay, we know this isn’t as easy as it sounds. Where did most of us start? Our MOPS Group. We highly recommend finding a group on their website as a starting place.)
- Break the ice. Sometimes it takes you stepping out of your comfort zone and being the first to get real about what’s going on in your life. When you let your guard down, others begin to feel more comfortable being honest–this is how relationships go past the superficial and become deep and precious friendships.
- If you would like us to come alongside of you and tackle a topic in your motherhood, we would be honored. Write us here.

{These suggestions are ideas from novice moms. Sometimes our life situations need more.
In that case, seeking out professional help is the right call.}

l1-personal-foul-on-grief

Laura

Yesterday I went to the grocery store and wouldn’t you know, Father’s Day cards are already out. So I picked up two cards for my hubby, one from me and one from the kids. I headed to checkout, just minding my own business, and then all these thoughts flooded my heart about my own dad.

Michelle

Oh my gosh, I have been there! You’re just checking off your to-do list and then BAM. Something hits you out of nowhere.

Laura

Oh, yeah! Grief, even old grief, is like a late hit in football! You think this play is dead and then you’re flat on your back under 300 pounds of opponent!

Michelle

Sorry to digress, but I just have to say, you are such a good boy mom that you could somehow compare grief with a football hit! ?? ? ? But in all seriousness, you described grief perfectly. And I’m sorry it popped back up to the surface again.

Laura

Aww, thanks. Who knew greeting cards really were as powerful as the card companies make them sound in their ads?! ?

Anna

Oh yeah, cards will do that to ya! How many times have I stood crying in the card aisle? They should have the tissues in that aisle too!

Laura

Great marketing idea!

Anna

#krogerareyoulistening?

Laura

Too bad my reaction to buying cards for my dad was anger, not tears! I despised buying cards for Father’s Day because they NEVER said what I wanted them to. My relationship with my dad was complex!

Michelle

I bet a lot of people feel like you do. I love watching Hallmark commercials and they make me cry, but maybe it’s because life isn’t always how they depict it to be in those heart-warming cards?!

Laura

No one makes cards that say, “Even though I know you have some problems that prevent you from actually having a genuine relationship with your kids, I appreciate your effort, I’ll take what I can get, and I love you anyway… Happy Father’s Day.”

Anna

Aww, boy. That is tough! HUG ?

I can definitely relate. There have been times when I was buying a card for someone and I was just feeling hurt while reading the cards, thinking, “I wish this was true for us, but it’s just not.”

Laura

Exactly! I’m realizing there are so many outside forces that influence our relationships, not just cards!

Michelle

You’re right, there are. Movies, books, TV, radio, social media! This list goes on and on. We don’t even realize it.

Laura

Yeah, they can set up unrealistic expectations of the real people in my life that God has given me to love no matter what that relationship looks like.

Anna

I think that is so true! And we don’t even realize it!

Laura

I know! I mean I was just buying groceries, and now I need to grieve those unfulfilled expectations AND manage my grief over losing my dad!

Anna

Yeah…it’s like having to grieve times two!

Laura

Yes! But don’t get me wrong, I know God was in the midst of my broken relationship with Dad. God was there for me even though I didn’t realize it until later. He knew what I had in my dad way better than a card in the grocery store did.

Anna

That’s the heart of it, right there. You nailed it!

Laura

So now that he is gone, I am so happy that I don’t have to buy a card that isn’t exactly honest, and I HATE that I don’t have to buy said card.

Michelle

Aw, sending you a huge hug through the phone right now! I love your honesty and I’m sure it’s hard to talk about.

Anna

Yeah, for what it’s worth, I really admire you for loving him anyway, for who he was and the effort he was able to give. A lot of people can’t even get to that place.

Michelle

Totally agree!!

Laura

God has helped me to get here. I never thought that I would be doing this parenting thing without one of mine. At least not while my children were so young. But here I am with four boys who never knew their Pops. #emojisdontdothatgriefjustice #nietherdohashtags

Anna

Aww, Laura! ? Praying for you right now.

Laura

I clearly realize that when something is broken or missing, I need the Father to fix and fill in and be my rock. He understands my grief better than I know.

Michelle

That is truth right there. I will pray you sense God walking with you in this grief and reminding you how loved you are as His daughter. ❤️

Soaking in the Truth

Scripture to encourage you:

Matthew 5:4 “Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.”
Psalm 147:3 He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.
Isaiah 53:3 He was despised and forsaken of men, A man of sorrows and acquainted with grief.
2 Corinthians 1:3-4 Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction so that we will be able to comfort those who are in any affliction with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.

Music to inspire you:

Good Good Father by Chris Tomlin

The Hurt and The Healer by MercyMe

Readings to come alongside of you:

Parenting Through Grief from She Knows.
Healing Your Grieving Heart: 100 Practical Ideas by Alan D.Wolfelt, Ph.D.
Grief: Finding Hope in the Darkness by Paul David Tripp
Learning How to Grieve by Beth Broom

Pick up the literature that the hospital or hospice in your area has on grieving. They contain a lot of great information about grief in general and may lead you to some groups to help you through your loss.

Living Out the Truth

Ideas to try:

If you are dealing with the grief of losing a parent while you are parenting, make sure you don’t grieve alone. I know this sounds trite, but find someone to talk to. My go-to friend was someone who knew my dad since we were kids, and she was grieving his death too. She knew how complicated my relationship was with him on earth, but still knew that his loss was devastating.
If you are grieving the death of unmet expectations in any relationship, I think the best thing to do is just that: grieve it. I think that’s the first step in accepting that things are different than you hoped they would be. Grief brings many different emotions: anger, sadness, guilt, resentment, relief. And many times those emotions can be felt simultaneously. Ask God to meet you in the emotions and to show you His path through the grief process.

{These suggestions are ideas from novice moms. Sometimes our life situations need more. In that case, seeking out professional help is the right call.}

Once Upon a Blog

Personal Foul on Grief