Search Results for: Good Enough

Beyond That Restless Place

In our new Monday post, Laura talks about struggling through an “in-between” time in her life, and I tell Laura that I just got through that. I want to explain a little bit more about my story there, in case you’re in that restless place too.?

A little over three years ago, I found myself overloaded. I was working two part-time jobs, managing two blogs, among other various things. My daily routine was insane; it amounted to putting out the biggest fires first.♨️ (Oh, and by the way, I had three kids: ages 4, 7, and 10!)

Feeling like I was running on empty and not giving my kids enough of my energy, I quit my favorite part-time job (directing a musical), and most of the other commitments I had. I built my schedule around my kids.

Over the next year, I had that increasingly nagging feeling of restlessness that Laura talked about. And any time someone asked me about my “passion” or my next steps in my career, I had the worst sinking feeling inside.?

The following year, my youngest started Kindergarten. I had no more “babies” at home.? I quit my other part-time job. I started praying almost daily for God to show me what was next, but I felt like there was no answer. In an effort to make money and stay on the same schedule as my kids, I started subbing.

At the end of the school year, I saw a job posting on the bulletin board of one of the schools where I subbed: Junior High Theater Director position. I thought — God put this notice RIGHT HERE so I could see it.?

I applied for the job and talked to the principal. He wanted to hire a current staff member, no matter how much experience I had. I was so disappointed, and confused–Why did God lead me here??

I faced the fact that I had given up one of my passions — directing — and I couldn’t get it back. I had made a huge mistake.

Three days later, I got a call out of the blue from my former boss (from my original directing job). Due to certain circumstances, she was offering me the job again! My heart soared! ?

Suddenly I realized, it had all come together! The next year, when my youngest would be in full- day first grade, I would be able to write and direct the musical in the fall/winter–my two favorite things!!!? I honestly think that God let me see that job posting so that I would realize how much I missed directing and my heart was open to it when I got that call.

Looking back now over the past 3 years, God has been PERFECTLY faithful. Although it felt incredibly slow, He had it all along. And He knew the desires of my heart when I wasn’t even ready to admit what they were. He knew I needed to clear my plate and start over.

Now, honestly, the restless feeling is totally gone. When I think about my path ahead, I don’t know exactly where it will go, but I feel much more at peace that He’s already preparing it for me–good things.?

If you are feeling lost today, not sure what your future holds, hang on. He’s working on it. He’s always up ahead of us, preparing the way.? And do not fear saying “no” to something right now. If it’s the right thing for your life, God will bring it back around.
?Anna

More Than Butterflies and Blooms

In this week’s post, Cupcake Comfort, Jen and Virginia break down how hard it is to maintain self-control when we want to stuff our emotions with food. My path with this is dark and treacherous, so I am right there with them. They write, “It can be so frustrating to have to battle the same issue again and again. I can’t help but think, ‘Aren’t we over this one yet, God? I thought I dealt with all of that. Am I just not strong enough?’” ?‍♀️ Why do we put pressure to strong-arm ourselves into self-control at all times? Spoiler alert: we can’t.

The world likes to oversimplify this tricky business. Has anyone else noticed how most metaphors for weight loss, fitness, and diet have to do with some kind of big finish: the caterpillar turns into a butterfly, the ugly duckling morphs into a swan, or the seed sprouts ? into a beautiful bloom??‍♀️ The bloom, the swan, and the butterfly all symbolize these precious products, but they are not human. The human body’s journey is ever-more complex; a mother’s body is it’s own beautiful sojourn. Mamas, what if we stopped comparing our human bodies to butterflies and blooms?? ? 

I am truly not strong enough to maintain self control 100% of the time, because (unlike seeds and caterpillars) I experience anxiety.? I spiral out of control and back into the deeper emotional parts that render me elbow deep in a party size bag of Doritos. I need a good cry sometimes, and Carrie Underwood was right: I cannot cry pretty either. But, I also believe He is strong ? when we are weak, and we are all in this together as we learn to love ourselves unconditionally. When I start eating feelings, there are times I can catch myself and pray right in the middle of my binge. It helps me stop before I get deep in the dark place. Sometimes I have to pray the verse Hebrews 12:1-3 out loud. If I can’t Google it exactly, I repeat the phrases “Throw off this sin that so easily entangles” and “Fix your eyes on Jesus.”   

Mamas, I had to seek medical and emotional professional help in 2017 to make real change with my health, so I do not want anyone reading this post to think I was able to just pray my way to my best self. I also want to tell you this — I have lost 110 pounds and now I’ve uncovered a whole deeper layer of control issues in my heart. See? Not. A. Butterfly.??‍??‍♀️  All that being said, I am still OUT THERE this summer in my swimmy, because I am not going to waste one more moment wallowing in my insecurity when there are sand castles to be built, snacks to be handed out, and floats to spin and splash around in with my son and hubby. I pray you don’t miss out on any moments in the sun, Mamas.☀️ You are beautiful and fully loved. ?Jo

PS: The last part of the NIV version of that verse talks about how Jesus endured opposition and scorned shame. The shame is the hardest part for me, but I want to scorn it — Jesus didn’t go to the cross just for me to walk around as a Debbie Downer Christian.? I pray we can endure opposition to our goals, so we can be healthy examples for our kids and confident for our husbands.