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Moms in Progress: Pam Moore

8 / 28 / 198 / 27 / 19

Jen

Hi, Pam! Thanks so much for taking the time to chat with our readers. We love reading your comments on the blog, and you always have such wisdom to share. We wanted to dig a little deeper and allow our readers the privilege of getting to know you, too!

I can’t help but notice this sweet picture, here. Can you tell us about it?

Pam

This picture is of my youngest daughter, Kelly, and I at Newport Aquarium in Cincinnati.

Jen

I love your smiles. It looks like you two were making some great memories that day!
So tell us, do you have any other children?

Pam

I have 3 children… Kari, who is 40, Rob (38), and Kelly (30). I also have 6 grandchildren. I am a seasoned mom, but have had lots of bumps along that road!

I also have 2 wonderful step-children, Betsy and Jared, and Jared’s wife Phoebe, and they have made my life complete with their unconditional love.

Jen

Oh, boy, I think a lot of us can relate to that. My motherhood journey is just starting out, and I’ve already had my fair share of bumps and bruises! Any advice for those of us still trying to figure things out?

Pam

My ‘children’ are grown and need very little assistance from me. I like to keep in touch with them, but, honestly, they are not nearly as needy as I am. I am learning to trust not knowing how their lives are going and feeling good about that. Kari and Rob spent most of their growing up years with their dad and stepmom, and I honestly am just glad to be able to share in their lives at all. If there’s anything I can tell you, it’s that keeping your marriage vows sacred is the best security you can give your children. I thank God that my children have wonderful marriages!

Jen

Such a great reminder. It’s so easy to get caught up in our children and neglect the foundation that made us a family in the first place! I’m making a mental note right now to get a date night on the calendar, pronto?!

So are there any books or podcasts that have been inspiring you lately??

Pam

I am reading Barbara Kingsolver’s “Small Wonder” essays now. I also like daily devotionals like “Streams in the Desert”. I thought I was too old for the podcast generation, but I was just on the road to Wisconsin and listened to Jen Hatmaker’s podcast, “For the Love”. The time on the road passed quickly and I felt so enlightened!

Jen

Ha! I only recently discovered the podcast world and it’s pretty great, but there’s something so personal and meaningful to me about interacting with an actual book. I’m not familiar with those titles, and now I can’t wait to check them out.

Any mom products you’re loving these days?

Pam

I love the Fabfitfun boxes?!

Jen

Oooh, you’ve got me beat there. I haven’t tried those yet, but I hear great things! What’s not to love about a box of trendy items sent right to your door? I’m all about anything that can make life a little bit easier.

Speaking of go-to’s for busy moms, is there a favorite simple meal ? that’s a staple in your house?

Pam

I’ve been cooking Home Chef meals lately, but I also love sheet pan vegetables… finally, I enjoy Brussels sprouts! It took the olive oil to change me!

Jen

Yes! Sheet pan veggies are a must in my house with all my picky vegetable eaters. I’ll be honest, we’ve been in survival mode lately and getting a real meal on the table has been anything but easy. Those bumps in the road you were talking about earlier – how have you gotten through them?

Pam

At this time in my life, letting go is something I have to emotionally commit to and frequently tell myself. I did the best I could under the circumstances of the time. It was a struggle to feel like a mom when I wasn’t always able to physically be present. The facts may be real and very sad, but the outcome is what matters. My children thrive and are the best parents I could ever imagine. That matters so much more than ‘me.’ To be positive, and healthy, and to take care of my well-being keeps me able to enjoy all of the blessings that are around me. At this point in my life, to rejoice in the fact that my children made amazing lives for themselves is pure joy!

And I do listen to Dr. Laura on the radio. She says that childrens’ IQs are inherited from their moms so ???!!!

Jen

IQ’s inherited from Mom, huh? Nice! I’m personally hoping my boys also inherited some of their dad’s math ability??‍♀️.

We deal with some pretty heavy stuff as moms. Is there a “victory” or lesson you’ve learned from all you’ve experienced?

Pam

A victory? Well, I get to see my children every so often, and they do love me. And my grandchildren are smart, and happy, and loved so much. That IS a victory. By God’s grace, we have great memories, and hopefully we will continue to make more. I would love for talks and time alone with my children and I do get occasionally get that. Life doesn’t always work out the way you want… as long as my children are living good lives, that is more than enough for me. Positivity always creates opportunities.

Jen

Positivity creates opportunities…I need to write that one down✏️!

Pam

As I get older, I’ve also found that friendship is the truest blessing. Cherish with the deepest part of your heart your “old” friends. I spent last weekend at Torch Lake in Michigan. We were at a friend’s home watching sailboats float by, eating Wisconsin cherries and laughing – old friends and new friends. What gifts!

Jen

Oh, wow, that sounds magical!

On a lighter note, what is the funniest thing your kids have said or done recently?

Pam

My daughter Kelly told me tonight that her cat Ivan wakes her up every night “screaming” because he has a toy to show her. She only has fur babies… and a heart of gold. She works as a cancer nurse at the Cleveland Clinic and is so happy when she helps a patient facing extreme health problems.

Jen

What an incredible job! I can only imagine what a blessing she is to her patients. Her cat, Ivan, sounds like quite the character, too?!

So…do you have any final words of advice for those of us still in the trenches?

Pam

Well, you all are young and I love reading your blogs, as well as your courage and commitment to being such awesome moms. I am inspired by you! Don’t let go of your intuition, and always share truths with your spouse. Don’t put anything before that relationship…take time to be each other’s best friend.

Always know there is someone who wants to help you, and listen, if you are down or frustrated. We are in this together, and a lot of us need to be needed when we are done raising our children. Even the hardest times can have happy endings. Just have faith… real faith. The kind where God’s all you have left, and then miracles happen. ✝️

I have changed my heart space in recent years and I have my husband, Steve, and his mom (who will be 90 this year!) to thank for challenging my heart to change. No one knows your spirit but you – when you’re real, and honest, you can find love in nature, your faith, your people, your practices, or your children. Whatever you need to do…go find it. Because before you know it, you’re a grandmother!

Jen

Thank you so much, Pam. I know I speak for all of our readers when I say that we appreciate your vulnerability and wisdom. We’re all just trying to do the best we can, so knowing that we may hit a pothole or two along the way – but can still emerge on the other side in one piece, with gratitude and perspective – makes me feel a whole lot better????.

Do you have a story to tell? Would you like to be featured in a future Moms in Progress post?  Just click here and answer a few questions to share the details of your story. We will do the rest!

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When God Says, “Not Yet”

8 / 26 / 198 / 26 / 19

Laura
Laura

I had the craziest dream the other night!

Laura
Anna
Anna

What was it about?

Anna
Laura
Laura

In the dream, I was outside with a whole group of people that I knew I belonged with. And I saw behind us that there was water rising up from somewhere. I didn’t like it, so I moved ahead of the group toward some houses. On the way to what I perceived as a safe place, there were all of these gardens. So I stopped to pick strawberries… (Dreams have the craziest details, don’t they?!)

Laura
Anna
Anna

Definitely–random details! Haha. Okay, what happened after the strawberry picking?

Anna
Laura
Laura

Anyway, so when I looked up from the strawberries, all the people I was with were suddenly gone. Like they must have passed me by and I didn’t even notice. So then in the dream, I have this panicky feeling start to rise in me. Like I have to find my people now. And I was suddenly aware that I didn’t know where my youngest child was. So then I became even more panicked.

Laura
Anna
Anna

Ohh, this is getting really interesting!

Anna
Laura
Laura

Right?! So I ran away from the strawberries toward the houses and I just barely see my people riding away from the houses on bikes. And as I was running down this driveway, I suddenly realized it was my mom’s house (so odd). Then in the dream I can saw myself being conflicted about if I should go back up the driveway to the house for my bike, or to try to follow my people (and my son, maybe?) on foot.

Laura
Anna
Anna

Gosh, I can feel your panic! ?

Anna
Laura
Laura

It was like I was paralyzed. I had gotten ahead of my people and then all of a sudden they were leaving me behind. And then I woke up. And I could not shake this dream. It felt so real.

Laura
Anna
Anna

Wow. That’s intense! I really do think that some dreams have meaning behind them. Have you thought about what this could be all about?

Anna
Laura
Laura

I totally agree! I think it was really about my current situation with how I am feeling about staying home for one more year with my youngest child.

Laura
Anna
Anna

Huh?? Okay, now I’m really intrigued. Please explain!

Anna
Laura
Laura

I think that deep down, I sort of want to move onto the next thing in my life. I’m feeling like, now that I’m 40 there’s just this sense of urgency to do something more.

Laura
Anna
Anna

Ohhh. I get it! I’ve been there, my friend. Actually, I just recently came out of that spot in the past year!

Anna
Laura
Laura

Well, that is good to hear! I mean not good that you felt like this, because it is not fun. But good that I’m not alone in this feeling.? I thought I was having some sort of “mid-life crisis” or something. I felt like this dream was sort of a little warning to me. Like don’t push ahead for “strawberries” or else my people are going to pass me by. And then I’ll be left behind.

Laura
Anna
Anna

That makes total sense! And yes – I felt the same way (and I’m 41 now, so there might be something to hitting that 40 mark) — for the past 2 1/2 years!

Anna
Laura
Laura

Like you were on hold?

Laura
Anna
Anna

Exactly. And not only that, but like I was behind. And it seemed like a lot longer than 2 1/2 years. It was an uncomfortable place for me to be. It did feel like a midlife identity crisis — not as far as who I am to God, but about the stage I was in and what I was going to do, career-wise. I felt like I was in this awkward in-between phase.

Anna
Laura
Laura

Yes. I get that… the “in-between-ness.” There’s just some areas where it seems like I could “do more.” Like maybe I could do more to help with our tight finances by working a little outside the home. Or maybe I could do more for the boys. Or maybe I could be doing more for God… using these talents He’s given me in new ways.

Laura
Anna
Anna

Right — more, more, more! And with everyone talking about “finding your passion” these days, and seemingly everyone on social media doing some great “thing” to make the world a better place, and with financial strain piling up… All of that added up to a real sense of restlessness in my heart.

Anna
Laura
Laura

Yes. Restlessness. That is the word! I couldn’t quite put my finger on the feeling. Because, I’m not really discontent. I have loved, really loved, staying home for these last 9 years. I know it was the right decision for me and my family. And there have been plenty of hard days being home with my boys, but it has all been worth it to me.

Laura
Anna
Anna

For sure!! I know you wouldn’t have it any other way. Same for me.

Anna
Laura
Laura

But now there’s this “restlessness in my heart” to move on to the next season. Every time an opportunity presented itself last spring, I would pray about what I should do, and every time I just felt like God was saying, “not yet.” It wasn’t a no. Because there were some interesting opportunities presented that I think I would have loved doing.

Laura
Anna
Anna

Oh, that’s the hardest!!! When these opportunities come that seem really great! It’s like – what if I’m hearing God wrong? What if I miss out? (I could “What if” stuff to death!)

Anna
Laura
Laura

I get it! Because I have some fears that those “chances” won’t be there again. (I’m actually crying right now! This is so good to talk out with you!)

Laura
Anna
Anna

Oh my friend!!!! I feel your pain! I really do! It’s a hard thing!

Anna
Laura
Laura

But I know the plans God has for my life, my boys’ lives are good. So it’s hard to reconcile this “not yet” answer and my feelings of frustration or disappointment with His good plans for me. And I find saying yes to opportunities feels easy and good in the moment, but then, I have too much to do and I’m not focused in the right place.

Laura
Anna
Anna

Oh yes. I love saying yes! And I was OFTEN tempted to fill my plate too full, thinking that somehow that would fill the gap I was feeling. Somehow, it would add up to “enough.” But I have learned the hard way, several times, that doing that only adds up to exhaustion.

Anna
Laura
Laura

That is a great reminder for me. Don’t fill the time for the sake of filling the time. Sit here in this season. Try to enjoy this last year before the boys are all in school all day, restless as I may be.

Laura
Anna
Anna

My mom gave me a lot of peace the other day because I was talking to her about the debt we’ve gotten into over the past year, and if I should be doing more about it. And she said just to keep being patient and faithful. The debt will come and go at this stage in our lives.

Anna
Laura
Laura

Patient and Faithful… these are not virtues that come naturally to my busy-body self.

Laura
Anna
Anna

I don’t know if they come naturally to anyone!

Anna
Laura
Laura

Makes me think that His ways are not our ways. His thoughts are not our thoughts. How glad I am for that, but how frustrating it can be too. But God is not done with us — is He?

Laura
Anna
Anna

Nope. Never. He has good things for us and He knows the desires of our hearts. The little and the big. This I know for sure — He’s been teaching me this over the past year. You can trust Him with the desires of your heart.

Anna
Laura
Laura

Trust Him with my now 40-year-old heart’s desires. Deep. Breath. Exhale. You’re right. That’s really the only thing to do when we feel like this isn’t it?

Laura
Anna
Anna

Yep — you got it! Breathe and flex those faith muscles.

Anna

Soaking in the Truth

Scripture to encourage you:

  • “‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future,’” (Jeremiah 29:11, NIV).
  • “For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do,” (Ephesians 2:10, NIV).
  • “Which of you, if your son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!” (Matthew 7:9-11, NIV).

Music to inspire you:

  • “Symphony” by Switch feat, Dillon Chase
  • “Hills and Valleys” by Tauren Wells
  • “God’s Not Done with You” by Tauren Wells
  • “Reason” by Unspoken
  • “Thy Will Be Done” by Hillary Scott & the Scott Family 

Readings and Resources to come alongside of you:

    • “God’s Timing is Perfect” by Christi Gee 

 

  • Wait and See by Wendy Pope 
  • The Best Yes by Lysa Terkeurst

 

Related Posts on Texting The Truth:

  • Beautiful in His Time: A New Season https://textingthetruth.com/2018/09/beautiful-in-his-time-a-new-season/ 

Living Out the Truth 

Ideas to try:

  • Don’t let flattery run away with your calendar. When you are asked/offered to do something, stop and pray first. Take time to think it over. Ask God, “Is this something that you want me to do right now?” Talk to you husband or a trusted friend. 
  • And don’t let the “What ifs” run away with your mind, either. Flex your faith muscles by trusting that if you feel God is saying “Wait” or “Not yet” to this opportunity, it means that the RIGHT opportunities will come around (or back around) at just the perfect time. 
  • The next time one of your children ask for something and your answer is, “Not right now,” or “Wait,” pause and remember that this is like God’s answer to you. Just like you want ALL the good things for your child, He does too. But He sees the bigger picture and what is best for you and all involved. But P.S.: It’s okay to cry about it to God. Express how you’re feeling. 
  • As I (Laura) am in this season of waiting myself, I hope that I can hold onto the dreams and heart desires for just a little longer.  Metaphorically speaking, I’m going to put them in a box until my season of waiting is over.  I’m not planning on putting that box in a storage unit off site, but just on a nearby shelf, easily accessible for when the time comes to open it. 

{These suggestions are ideas from novice moms. Sometimes our life situations need more. 

In that case, seeking out professional help is the right call.}

 

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