Where do we go from here? What is saving you right now?

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Am I the only one who bounces between feeling super grateful for God grounding us to being outraged at the state of the world?  How did we go from staying home and baking to fussing with each other over masks?  There’s so much unrest around racism, politics, and police.  As moms, we most likely bear the burden of summer activity planning.  And then there is the anxiety of the new school year unknowns. Just naming all of this makes me take a deep breath. 

With all the turmoil swirling around us, within us, and maybe even in our homes, we want to come alongside you and collectively pray, Lord, where do we go from here?  To continue the conversation, we want to give thanks for the good parts of these uncertain times.  And so, our big question for you, readers, is this: What is saving you right now?  We have made a Texting the Truth Reader Survey here: https://bit.ly/textingthetruth2020.  Give us all your feedback and share honestly what’s saving you right now.

What is saving me is the sunshine, my family and friends, reading in general, and most of all, God’s word.  No matter what, the Bible is always a steadfast place to turn and unlock the Holy Spirit in my life.  There is so much spinning out of control, but I believe we can center ourselves and save this season with coming back to our Bibles.  

Regardless of what the future holds, as moms we have no choice but to endure.  Matthew 24:12 says, “Because lawlessness will multiply, the love of many will grow cold.  But the one who endures to the end will be saved.”  We can do this, Mamas.  TtT is right here with you. 

In my desperation to be a “fixer” as I power through (does anyone else prefer this endurance stance?), I sometimes cry out to God for help in unproductive ways.  To be real, sometimes I pray like God is a genie in a bottle.  I need a reminder that He cannot magically erase pain and grant wishes.  He is not the cause of it, either.  But, we know He works all things together for our good (Romans 8:28).  For example, I am so glad we have a focus for social justice during the quarantine. Racism, oppression, and broken systems are not new to the world.  They are just being spotlighted right now.  I had to remind myself not to just “rub the genie bottle” for world peace and instead do the hard work starting at home and in my sphere of influence.  I pray you have ordered some new books and had some quality conversations with your families on it all, that you have taken some action steps.  

In addition, we want to pray with you, Mamas.  We have had quite a few health scares in our TtT community — surgeries, heart attacks, bad scans and waiting in limbo for results, Coronavirus exposure, family member deaths, and the list continues.  Our DMs are always open to you, but most of all, I want to encourage you to cry out to God in prayer in whatever way makes you feel most connected.  Prayer is a pure way to share your vulnerability and lay down your burden.  “Cast your cares because He cares for you” (1 Peter 5:7).  I feel nearest to God and connected with my family in nature — quite literally, I feel led most beside still waters (Psalm 23:2).  I close my eyes and sometimes lift my hand toward heaven when I pray in nature.  I like to blog or physically journal.  I love to highlight my Bible and underline with music playing in the background.  How do you connect with the Lord best? Add a comment below. 

Whatever we do, all I know is now is not the time to be shy about our walk with God.  I am trying to proclaim faith, even when it is weird.  As long as our motives are in love and not to be wise in our own opinions, what’s the worst that could happen?  God wants moms to be strong and courageous (Joshua 1:9).  He wants us to follow Isaiah 58:9-12 (CSB): 

When you call, the Lord will answer. When you cry out, He will say, “Here I am.”  IF you get rid of the yoke among you, the finger pointing and malicious speaking, and if you offer yourself to the hungry, and satisfy the afflicted one, then your light will shine in the darkness, and your night will be like noonday. The Lord will always lead you, satisfy you in a parched land, and strengthen your bones. You will be like a watered garden and like a spring whose water never runs dry. Some of you will rebuild the ancient ruins; you will restore the foundations laid long ago; you will be called the repairer of broken walls, the restorer of streets where people live. 

I often have to remind myself that doing more won’t help God work any faster; sometimes I need to speak the verse in Exodus 14:14, “The Lord will fight for you; you need only be still.”  I cannot be all struggle and no snuggle.  I have to find a balance with truth and grace, salt and light.  I don’t want to lose my saltiness (metaphor for purpose & vigor) by avoiding diving deeper into truthful conversations, but those require energy and subsequent self care to recover after.  And they take extra courage when you are exhausted or feel like you have something to lose.  But, I ultimately come back to this mantra of “cut the excuses.” Here’s why:  raising our kids encompasses who we spend time with and how we spend our time as adults in the home.  They always watch what we do, not what we say, don’t they?  I want to give them something good to watch (and emulate).   

For some practicals, check out the “Truth to Inhale” and “Truth to Exhale” sections of this post.  I spent time curating resources to help live out our faith together (we do that for every post!). Do you have any new ideas to share with our community? Drop them in the comments, and don’t forget to complete our survey. 

Let’s pray: Lord, please show us where we go from here.  Above all the fray, You are in control.  We pray blessings over our homes and our Texting the Truth community.  We thank you for all the many things and people that are saving us right now.  Multiply salt and light through your children, Lord. In Jesus’ name. Amen. 

With love and virtual hugs, 

Jo

#summer2020 #textingthetruth #graceformoms #realmoms #loveinthetimeofcorona

Soaking in the Truth

Scripture to encourage you:

  • “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go” (Joshua 1:9, NIV). 
  • “Casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you” (1 Peter 5:14, NKJV). 
  • “The Lord himself will fight for you. Just stay calm” (Exodus 14:14, NLT).  
  • “He makes me lie down in green pastures.  He leads me beside still waters” (Psalm 23:2, ESV). 
  • “Because lawlessness will multiply, the love of many will grow cold.  But the one who endures to the end will be saved” (Matthew 24:12, CSB). 
  • “And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose” (Romans 8:28, ESV).  
  • “You are the salt of the earth; but if the salt has lost its taste (purpose), how can it be made salty? It is no longer good for anything, but to be thrown out and walked on by people [when the walkways are wet and slippery]” (Matthew 5:13, AMP).  
  • “When you call, the Lord will answer. When you cry out, He will say, ‘Here I am.’  IF you get rid of the yoke among you, the finger pointing and malicious speaking, and if you offer yourself to the hungry, and satisfy the afflicted one, then your light will shine in the darkness, and your night will be like noonday. The Lord will always lead you, satisfy you in a parched land, and strengthen your bones. You will be like a watered garden and like a spring whose water never runs dry. Some of you will rebuild the ancient ruins; you will restore the foundations laid long ago; you will be called the repairer of broken walls, the restorer of streets where people live” (Isaiah 58:9-12, CSB). 

Music to inspire you:

Related Posts on Texting The Truth:

Living Out the Truth 

Ideas to try / Resources to Come Alongside You:

  • Anxiety Help for Kids from ParentCue 
  • Boredom Is Good for kids : Let Your Kids Be Bored  on ParentCue  
  • Pizza Hut’s Book It Program:  All you have to do is have your kiddo read 20 minutes a day — and log 20 days out of a month… it is all an honor system… and then you get a certificate for a free personal pan pizza.  I loved this growing up, and I am excited to get it started for summer reading with my son! 
  • Disney Plus! I don’t know about you, but I am getting to the point that I do not trust Netflix or YouTube kids for my almost first grader.  I just added classics and some new ones we need to watch again on this app.  With Verizon cell service, you get a free subscription for a year. 
  • Theolaby is launching from Jennie Allen as a subscription approach to sharing the Lord with your children. She has had this on her heart for years, and now that her ministry has expanded and her kids are older, she has the capacity to share her wisdom with moms. 
  • Fun Fiction for Moms: some of my faves are Emily Giffin, Jennifer Weiner, and any of Jenna Bush Hager’s Read with Jenna book club picks 

{These suggestions are ideas from novice moms. Sometimes our life situations need more. In that case, seeking out professional help is the right call.}

 

Maternal Mental Health: A Conversation

Virginia

Hey, thanks for making time for us and our readers!

Tell us a little about your family and your job.

Jenny

My husband and I have twin 7-year-old girls, Ellie and Libby, and our son Tripp is 4. We’ve been married for 12 years.

I am a licensed mental health counselor 🙂 I have been in private practice for the last 5.5 years and have a specialization in maternal mental health.

Virginia

Does that mean you help moms with postpartum depression?

Jenny

It does! And actually many women experience mood and anxiety disorders during pregnancy as well, so I get to partner with women to help them transition to their new (or seasoned) role of motherhood. One in five women will experience some change in mood or anxiety during pregnancy and/or postpartum period, so if you know 5 women, you probably know someone who has experienced this!

Virginia

1 in 5, wow! That’s helpful to hear because it makes it sound pretty common. Do you think there’s less of a stigma now than there used to be?

Jenny

Yes and no, social media can help and hinder women getting from speaking up about this topic! There can be so much shame for new moms because they have an idea of what motherhood should be like and they aren’t experiencing it. The good news? You are not alone and depression/anxiety are treatable! ?

Virginia

So some moms were already having a tough time dealing with their unmet expectations and now we have a whole new set of circumstances on top of that burden. How has the pandemic affected the mental health field?

Jenny

Initially, it was a quick transition to offer telehealth sessions to moms and most were adapting well (as if they had a choice ?). But more recently, more people are experiencing higher levels of stress and uncertainty about what the future will look like. This naturally has brought on more anxiety and changes in mood.

Virginia

I bet many of our readers can relate. I know I can! For me, it was a little like whiplash in the beginning – so many new changes happening so quickly. The whole experience truly was novel. We started to see some good emerge: more family time and a relaxed pace, to name a few. Now, it feels like it’s dragging on endlessly. The honeymoon is over and there is some anxiety some days.

Jenny

Yes, exactly! It’s been a real challenge to both be in the moment and be thankful for the good and juggle the frustration and sadness that all these changes bring.

Virginia

Sometimes I look around and wonder why I’m having a difficult time when another mom seems to be okay. It seems like I shouldn’t feel that way, especially if that mom has more kiddos to raise or more obvious challenges.

Jenny

It’s true, there are people who are struggling in a more obvious way. However, our mental health usually suffers when we compare ourselves to others. The phrase, “Acknowledging someone’s broken leg doesn’t make yours less sprained” is helpful to address that.

Being mindful of how our bodies and brains interact is crucial.

Virginia

Is that what I’ve heard described as the ‘mind-body connection?’

Jenny

Yes, one of the most amazing things about the way our bodies were designed, is that they have the capability of revving up and giving us the energy we need and also the same capability of slowing us down back to a relaxed, calm state. When we are stressed, our bodies tend to stay in an energized state, sometimes without us even recognizing it, which can lead to short tempers with our family, trouble concentrating and difficulty completing tasks. To help ourselves, we need to be very intentional about slowing down in order to tap into our built-in calming mechanism.

Virginia

Oh that can be really hard to do. ? Are there strategies that can help?

Jenny

First it’s becoming aware that we all are experiencing stress and one of the best things we can do for ourselves is to accept that this IS stressful. We are all handling it in different ways and there are MANY ways to take care of ourselves when stressed. I love John Gottman’s quote of “doing small things often”, meaning tiny gains matter! All of these strategies take just a few moments, and we ALL have a few moments to spare these days!

Virginia

Tiny gains matter! Yes! We have so much on our plates as mamas it can seem overwhelming but doing those small things can push us in the direction of improved mental health. I notice I feel better on sunny days.

What other ways can we relax?

Jenny

We can take deep belly breaths by counting down from 10-1, plan a few moments of quiet time, step outside for a few minutes of fresh air. It’s especially important to speak up when you’re feeling down. Verbalize your feelings instead of just letting them come out and inadvertently hurting someone else’s feelings which can add guilt to your sadness.

Virginia

How would a mom know it’s time to seek professional help?

Jenny

We all experience worry and depressed mood from time to time, but it’s time to seek help when these feelings interfere with your activities of daily living. If you’re having thoughts of not wanting to be here anymore, reach out and let someone know. YOU MATTER and there is hope and healing available for you.

Virginia

Any last words of wisdom for us as we navigate this weird season?

Jenny

Be kind to yourself. We encourage our kids to be kind to each other all the time, and sometimes our self-talk is downright mean! Grace and mercy have been freely given to us from our Heavenly Father, so be gracious and merciful to yourself in this season, Mama. It will be easier to love others when you do. ?

Virginia

Where can moms go to learn more?

Jenny

I volunteer with Postpartum Support International which connects women and families to resources like online support groups and local counselors who have been trained to serve women during pregnancy and postpartum. If you’d like to learn more about me, check out www.postpartumjax.com.

Scripture to inspire you:

  • “The waters of the sea closed around my throat. The deep sea was all around me; seaweed wrapped around my head. When I went down to where the mountains of the sea start to rise, I thought I was locked in this prison forever, but you saved me from the pit of death, Lord My God. When my life had almost gone, I remembered the Lord. I prayed to you, and you heard my prayers in your Holy Temple.” (Jonah 2:5-7 NIV)
  • Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid. (John 14:27 NIV)
  • For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline. (2 Timothy 1:7 NIV)
  • We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ. (2 Corinthians 10:5 NIV)
  • “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” (Matthew 11:28-30 NIV)
  • On hearing this, Jesus said, “It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. But go and learn what this means: ‘I desire mercy, not sacrifice.’ For I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners.” (Matthew 9:12-13 NIV)