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Tag Archives: comparison

To Santa or Not To Santa?

12 / 11 / 1712 / 12 / 17

Laura
Laura

EEK! This tradition I’ve started! What have I gotten myself into? I had no idea when I opened The Elf on The Shelf box, what a blessing (and annoyance) it was going to be!

Laura
Janelle

I’m sure your boys really enjoy looking for him every morning and seeing what kind of silly thing he is doing!

Laura
Laura

They do.  On of my favorite days is when Pepper Mint arrives, and it’s always with a note from Santa reminding the boys about what Christmas is really about. And part of that is about learning to give grace to others… like Pepper when he t.p.’s our hallway!

Laura
Janelle

That’s funny. It’s the truth that we all mess up sometimes and we all need grace. I’m curious, how do you use Santa and your elf to teach about the meaning of Christmas?

Laura
Laura

Well, Santa’s letter includes the Christmas story, and a reminder about why he brings them gifts, and how to extend grace.  Sometimes, I feel like God even uses Pepper to speak to me. Like, this year when he arrived, he was outside the front door sitting on the wreath, peeking in the window with his note that said, “Please let me in.”  I know I wrote it, but I felt like it was a reminder to me that that is what God is asking us too.

Laura
Janelle

I can just see him peeking in your front window with his note… poor Pepper!

Laura
Laura

I know it’s a rather elaborate ruse, Santa and the elf and all that, but I have so much fun with it…I think it gives me joy because it’s kinda a fun way to model for them how they will look for God each day, too.

Laura
Janelle

I’m glad you have so much fun with it! Any way that I can teach my children about seeking God is a win in my book. After all, God is present in our days, but sometimes we forget He is. Pepper can remind your family to look in unexpected places for God.

Laura
Laura

I try to use everything to point the boys back to God. And I know that is your goal too. Isn’t it cool how we have the same goal in mothering our kids but it looks different?

Laura
Janelle

Yes! I love how God gives us that freedom! Imagine how boring our world would be if we were all the same! Cookie-cutter families. BORING! ?

Laura
Laura

So true! Well, I know you don’t do Santa with your kids, so be honest, do people like me drive you nuts?  I mean, with all our talk of Santa and Elves and Reindeer. ?  It’s everywhere.  Even on the Christian radio station, so many of the songs are about Santa.  Does it bother you?

Laura
Janelle

Sometimes… just kidding! ?  Sometimes I feel like we lose the meaning of Christmas in all the “extra” stuff. And stress ourselves out trying to keep up with everything. Although I think that God gives us each liberty to “do” Christmas however we want, as long as we remember that Jesus is the reason we’re celebrating!

Laura
Laura

Amen!

Laura
Janelle

Imagine if it were my kids’ birthday and I didn’t even stop to pay attention to them since I was so busy with decorations, presents, and being sure my house looked “Pinterest perfect”! Yikes! I don’t want to do that to Jesus on His birthday. Even if I do choose to incorporate fun “extra” stuff, I hope I stay focused on the reason for the season. Elves, reindeer, Santa, or not… that’s a personal preference thing. As long as we keep it about Jesus.

Laura
Laura

I totally agree…I’ve heard people talk about how they don’t want to teach kids that Santa is real because they will think that God isn’t real in the long run.  I get that concern, and a lot of times I wonder if I’m doing the right thing (not just at Christmas time)… I’d love to hear why you have decided not to use Santa with your kids. ?

Laura
Janelle

Honestly, there’s not a super deep reason why we’ve chosen to not incorporate Santa into our Christmas. I have nothing against him! Haha! I think a big part of it is that I wasn’t raised with Santa. And partly because I’m really not fond of people in costumes! ?  People in costumes make me incredibly uneasy.

Laura
Laura

Bahahaha!

Laura
Janelle

The other thing is, I’m lazy. ? I don’t want to have to explain it to my kids and wrap extra presents in fancy handwriting and answer questions about how he can get down our tiny chimney and fly his reindeer around the world in one night, etc etc!!

Laura
Laura

I have some great answers to those questions!  Haha!!

Laura
Janelle

Seriously though, I feel like especially to my children that he may become a distraction.

Laura
Laura

Good point!  There are enough distractions in our world!

Laura
Janelle

Yes. But there are lots reasons on both sides that actually make perfect sense! Like why would I not use the Santa myth to teach my children to  give rather than demand, and teach them generosity and grace?

Laura
Laura

When you put it that way, it gives me a lot of peace of mind.  Just because you don’t use Santa doesn’t mean that it’s wrong for me to use it.

Laura
Janelle

That’s right. We all have reasons why we do what we do, don’t we? But then we’re prone to wonder if what we’re doing is “right” in light of what everyone else is doing. I guess that’s where I have to go back to asking, “what is truth and what liberties am I going to take in teaching my children truth?”

Laura
Laura

Woah!  That’s deep.  What a great question!  Really makes me think about what I’m using to teach my kids and why.  And if I really pause and answer that question, then it eliminates the doubt and the guilt that sometimes accompanies it.

Laura
Janelle

Exactly. What if I stopped comparing myself to other moms and just gave them grace? You do Santa? Great! You don’t do Santa? Great! I guess I go back to another truth too that each of us will be answering to God for how we conducted our families. You won’t be answering for me and I won’t be answering for you. And that’s where God’s grace is so amazing, right? There’s no room for guilt where there’s so much grace!

Laura
Laura

I need to write that phrase down!  Because I think the truth is — God is way bigger than any single decision that I make.  His grace does cover our choices, and that is amazing.  As long as one way or another, Christmas is about Jesus, we are doing ok. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I gotta go find a new spot for Pepper!

Laura

Soaking in the Truth

Scripture to encourage you:

  • “One person considers one day more sacred than another; another considers every day alike.  Each of them should be fully convinced in their own mind.” (Romans 14:5, NIV)
  • “I will walk about in freedom, for I have sought out your precepts.” (Psalm 119:45, NIV)
  • “While they were there, the time came for the baby to be born, and she gave birth to her firstborn, a son.  She wrapped him in cloths and placed him in a manger, because there was no guest room available for them. (Luke 2:6-7, NIV)

Music to inspire you:

  • “Grace Wins”  by Matthew West
  • “Love is Here” by Laura Story

Readings and Resources to come alongside of you:

  • “Explaining Santa Claus to Your Kids” by Holly A. Lamb
  • “What to do about Santa” on The Gospel-Centered Mom
  • “5 Reasons Why I Let My Kids Believe in Santa”  by Jackie Ritz
  • “How We Connect Santa Clause and Jesus Christ in our Home” by Nicole Carpenter

Related Posts on Texting The Truth:

  • Decluttering Our Spiritual Closets
  • All I Want For Christmas This Year

Living Out the Truth

Ideas to try:

  • Did you know that Santa believes in Jesus?  Well, he does in our house anyway!  I say that because I think it is important to think about how you are going to use this story to make the most of it.  I try to always point my boys back to the Bible.  So our elf comes with a letter that tells the boys about God’s grace.  It actually says, “look guys… some of the songs get it wrong.  I give gifts to celebrate Jesus, and He’s for everybody… good or bad, naughty or nice.”  I think you have to do what works best for you and your family!  Ask God for wisdom to do what is right for your kids!  He knows best.  
  • We know this is a tricky conversation with many sides to the Santa discussion. We also know it’s challenging because what you decide for your family may affect other families if your kids spill the beans. But we think it’s a good conversation to have.  We think it’s so important that we extend grace to one another.  One mom can do Christmas differently than another and it’s ok.  And we hope that we can all agree on Jesus.  So with that, we say, Happy Birthday Jesus, and Merry Christmas readers.  

 

{These suggestions are ideas from novice moms. Sometimes our life situations need more.

In that case, seeking out professional help is the right call.}

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Good Enough

10 / 2 / 1710 / 2 / 17

Laura
Laura

If I had a nickel for everytime someone asked me what sports my kids do, I’d be able to fund one of them for an entire season of select soccer.

Laura
Anna
Anna

I know, right?!?

Anna
Laura
Laura

Not that my oldest is good enough or wants to play on any sort of select team!  I mean his first season of rec soccer was… how do I say this… sad? There was a big 0 in the win column!  

Laura
Anna
Anna

Oh man…. Well, it happens sometimes!

Anna
Laura
Laura

But he did have fun! And that’s what matters, right?! But I haven’t even started my almost 5-year-olds in a sport yet, and I think some people think I’m doing my children a huge disservice!?! Sigh… am I?

Laura
Anna
Anna

I don’t know… I mean, why all the pressure to have kids excel at a sport by age 8? I mean, I get it. We want them to be able to keep up later and build on their skills, but aren’t there more important things?

Anna
Laura
Laura

You mean like having fun together as a family or saving those nickels for college (or groceries… just saying… four boys can eat a lot)?

Laura
Anna
Anna

Ha–I can only imagine! And like having down time, and time to do chores, and help Mom cook dinner, and help Dad fix the car. I mean, those are skills too, but we never have time to do those things.

Anna
Laura
Laura

Exactly!  There’s so many things we want to teach our kids.  And back to the pressures thing…there are so many pressures on them at school with tests and everything else! And then we as parents seem to expect them to be perfect little athletes too?  

Laura
Anna
Anna

I think we do, unintentionally. We want them to be shining stars at all they do. 

Anna
Laura
Laura

Because if my kids are good at things, then in theory, other kids will like them and then their life will be happier and easier! Right? And, let’s not lie, when our kids are doing well, we look great as parents too!

Laura
Anna
Anna

Right. I mean parents have good intentions. We just want our kids to be successful. But how are we measuring that success? I wonder sometimes if we get out the wrong measuring stick.

Anna
Laura
Laura

Good point.  I think I’m very guilty of putting pressure on my kids to behave a certain way.  It’s sort of the same thing.  There is a much better way to determine who these little ones are than successes and outward appearances!

Laura
Anna
Anna

I’m also guilty of it! I care way too much sometimes what people think! And that my kids are measuring up or doing the same things as other kids. I never thought I would do that as a parent.

Anna
Laura
Laura

Me either. I don’t know how we got here, but you know what? We don’t have stay here!  

Laura
Anna
Anna

That’s a relief.  So how do we help our kids grow up with a different understanding about who they are? #thetruthaboutgrowingup

Anna
Laura
Laura

I think we start with the simple truth about who we are, right?  We are beloved creation of the Most High God.  And it’s the same for my kids!  Because I just want my kids to know they are loved for who they are and not what they do.  I’ve been down that road personally, of trying to do something to be loved.  It didn’t lead anywhere good.

Laura
Anna
Anna

Me too. And you can succeed for a minute, but it never ends up being enough. And people or circumstances can take away your success. And then what? You’re left wondering who you are. I want my kids to know that who they are, the value they have, that’s not something that anyone can take away from them.

Anna
Laura
Laura

They are gifted in just the way God wants them to be gifted.  And those gifts might make them good at something.  And they might even be on a select team someday.  Or maybe play the lead in our favorite musical! ?  But all the successes or failures do not equal their worth.

Laura
Anna
Anna

Yes–1,000 times yes. And as a mom, I want to be secure enough and brave enough to let my children grow at their own pace, with their unique interests, and be whoever God has designed them to be. Not who I picture them to be. Or who my friends’ kids are. But I want to watch with faith as they grow up.

Anna


Soaking in the Truth

Scripture to encourage you:

  • “The Lord does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.” (1 Samuel 16:7, NIV)
  • “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart;” (Jeremiah 1:5, NIV)
  • “See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are!  The reason the world does not know us is that it did not know him.  Dear friends, now we are children of God, and what we will be has not yet been made known.  Bet we know that when Christ appears, we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is.” (1 John 3:1-2, NIV)


    Music to inspire you:

  • “He Knows My Name” by Francesca Battistelli
  • “Every Bit of Lovely” by Jamie Grace

    Readings and Resources to come alongside of you:

  • We have to be secure in who we are before we can teach our kids to be the same way. I love this article: “Be Who God Created You to Be” by Shauna Neiquist
  • Read more about “How to Help Your Youth Find Their Identity in Christ” from Ministry Today.
    Four things to teach our kids about their identity and value:
    God created them on purpose in His image.
    God’s love does not fail, nor does it change towards them.
    God genuinely cares about the details of their lives.
    God created them with a purpose.


    Related Posts on Texting The Truth:

  • Decluttering Our Spiritual Closets
  • Hanging Up Our Measuring Sticks



    Living Out the Truth
    Ideas to try:

    • When failures come–a bad grade, a missed soccer goal, not making the musical, a call from the teacher–in the end, reassure him/her of who he/she is in God, His love, and that they are a beautiful creation.
    • I try not to compare one child to another, or one sibling with another one.
    • When they start to compare themselves, or get down on themselves, I say something like, “Good for them, but YOU are a whole different person. There’s only one of you, and you are amazing.”
    • I try to let my kids know what I love about them aside from their activities.  I love that they are kind or caring toward each other or toward their friends.  I love that when they are excited about something they jump up and down.  Whatever it is.  I try to tell them at night before they go to bed something that I love about their character, their personality, or maybe something they did because of that trait that they have.  
    • I have signs posted on their bedroom doors that say, “We love [name] because he is [name].”
    • When suffering consequences as toddlers, my boys always asked me if I still loved them.  I was shocked by this question when my oldest asked it, but wasn’t as caught off guard when the twin started asking it.  I’m sure the little guy will wonder the same thing.  At first my answer was, of course I do, but…..  However I’ve tried to change my words.  There isn’t really a but there.  And there isn’t a but in how God feels about me or my kids when we have gone wrong.  Or when we have done something well there isn’t I love you because you did well.  I try to phrase it differently.  You made a mistake and the consequences are hard to suffer, but I’m here for you because I love you.  Or great job playing basketball out there!  You really gave it your all!  And if you didn’t, I’d still love you!

    {These suggestions are ideas from novice moms. Sometimes our life situations need more. In that case, seeking out professional help is the right call.}

     

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