Hello, I’m Melanie!  Here is my lovely family – my husband, Matthias, with our four year old, Sophie, and me with our 2 year old “pup,” Luke.

 I have to show two pictures because it is pretty much impossible to get a decent one of us all together.  Here is what we ended up with the last time we tried!  LOL

My husband and I have recently, and unexpectedly, started a business.  Our son, Luke, has a very rare and damaging seizure disorder, which has caused him to be globally developmentally delayed.  Luke has recently learned to use an adaptive switch to play with toys.  Adaptive switches look like buzzers with a cord coming out.  The cord gets plugged into a specially adapted toy, and when a child hits the switch, the toy is activated.  Most toys have small buttons and kids like Luke can’t activate them independently.  Switches and adapted toys make it possible for these kiddos to play.  Unfortunately these adapted devices are extremely expensive. My husband and I figured out that we could adapt toys ourselves and started making some for Luke.  Then I decided to offer a few toys in a special needs Facebook group.  The response was overwhelming!  Parents were so excited to have an affordable option for buying adapted toys. They encouraged us to create a page, offer more toys, and so on.  That is how LDK Adapted Toys LLC was born.  Now we have a Facebook page (www.facebook.com/ldkadaptedtoysllc) and an online store that sells switches and adapted toys for reasonable prices.  We have the pleasure of knowing so many kiddos, like our son, now have access to fun toys.  Our current goal is to continue to spread the word so that ALL children with limited mobility have access to engaging toys.

I have two gorgeous kiddos that I love more than anything.  Sophie is four, smart and stubborn.  She knows what she wants and she goes for it – I love that about her!  Luke is two and is an easygoing, happy little guy, in spite of all the challenges life has tossed his way.  Many parents of children with special needs describe their children as little warriors, and Luke is no exception.  I couldn’t be more proud of these two!

Acceptance.  I have spent so much time hoping and praying and begging for Luke to get better.  I have gotten my hopes up at the start of each new medication and picked myself back up when each has failed to work.  There is a very fine line between hope and denial and I was riding it for a long time.  Over the past year I have slowly and painfully let go of the vision I had for Luke’s future.  I have learned to appreciate each small win – I no longer think about milestones, instead I celebrate “100-meter-dash-stones!”  I have come to realize that I have this incredible, beautiful, happy little guy and that he will be who he will be, and I’m okay with that.  I still have hopes and dreams; I have goals I want him to achieve, but whether he does or not, I’m okay with it.   Now I can focus all of that energy on loving Luke and enjoying who he is.  Acceptance was hard won and I am proud of it.

The kids and I got home from grocery shopping the other day.  Sophie walked in the door, opened the closet, took off and hung up her coat, and put her shoes away.  She then went and got her cup of milk out of the fridge, took it to her little table, and started coloring a picture.  I have been working so hard on helping her develop some independence….it was that incredible moment when I realized something has actually sunken in!  YAY!!!

Being the mom of a child with special needs is incredibly isolating.  In the midst of all the grief and uncertainty and exhaustion of this journey, I have discovered the joy of deep, genuine friendship.  Through Luke’s therapy class, I have met some absolutely amazing moms who are dealing with the same emotions and struggles.  They understand and that makes all the difference.  We are all so incredibly busy, but we get together for dinner once a month, and we talk and laugh until we cry!  They are my silver lining.  I want to encourage moms of children with special needs AND moms of typically developing children to take the time to cultivate those friendships – they are worth every second of time and effort invested!  Wearing that big, gigantic, hugely significant mom hat is exhausting – we all feel it and we all need someone to have our backs, even if it is just listening to us rant.  Life is crazy busy and as moms we tend to sacrifice our own needs – but believe me, making time for adult friendships gives us some much needed connection, and ultimately helps us be even better moms!!!