You know those coffee commercials where the mom gently rises in her bed with the smell of that first cup? Yeah, I look nothing like that this morning! More like “Morning of the Living Dead!” ?

Or I awake to someone talking at me. That’s what gets me – how quickly some days begin almost immediately going downhill. It’s like, I’ve been conscious for 30 seconds and you’re in a bad mood and being rude to me? What’s up with that?

I usually hear, “I’m starving. Go downstairs with me.” And then he doesn’t eat for 45 minutes. ? I think it would help to take a deep breath and just remind ourselves it’s developmentally appropriate for them to be selfish.

Yes, ultimately it is our job to put up those boundaries, even though they don’t like it or may not understand.

And we need to be prepared for their angry response because in their world, they should have sugar, sleepovers and fun 24/7. They don’t know what brats they’d be if we let them have all the junk. Thanks to Kirk Martin (celebratecalm.com), the name-calling that results from that disappointment no longer bothers me.

When my son calls me a name, I might say a neutral statement like, “You might be right.” My goal is to defuse the situation, not amp him up by trying to prove my point. Even at 5 he knows he doesn’t mean it; he’s just mad because he’s not getting what he wants.

But how we do not take it personally?

Yes – they’re letting their emotions carry themselves away and do and say things they know are wrong because they’re immature. It’s about them, not us.

Right!

I think, whatever you immediately want to do, that’s the wrong response. Lol. I’ve never improved a situation by following my first reaction.

Me too! But in that moment it’s just all feelings. And like everything else, it’s our job to model and guide. If we’re sarcastic and rude back to them, they’ll respond in kind. We need to defuse the situation and show (and practice with them) how to ask for things respectfully. Of course, they can have the ketchup or the lemonade but they’ll catch more flies with honey than vinegar.

One of my go-to parenting books is titled How to Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk. It gives dozens of phrases to use with kids to encourage them to cooperate, listen, etc. I need to revisit that.

Maybe instead of “You hurt me” it’s, “This is how other friends might take your words.” Then it’s not, “Oh, my mom is so sensitive” or “She’s clueless.”

Yeah, and as they get older, they’re going to care more about the relationships outside their family. Teaching them is easier said than done, I know. But it’s time that we put our big girl panties on and remember that it’s not about us. We have to develop tougher skins.

Me neither.

So maybe the main thing with disrespectful kids is modeling good responses, and remembering God fills our needs — not our kids. When we fill up on God’s Word we can parent from a confident place. It always goes back to Him which is exactly what He wants. And we know Jesus was mocked, insulted by His family, so we can’t be surprised when we are too.

You’ll have time to wash those big girl panties! ???