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Tag Archives: me time

Not So “Quiet Time”

12 / 5 / 161 / 18 / 17

m5-time-for-god

Michelle
Michelle

So this morning I set my alarm because I wanted to enjoy the quiet house before anyone was up. I am so not a morning person but hot coffee and my journal are the best way for my mornings to start these days before my girls are pulling me in every which direction. ☕️  ?

Michelle
Ashley
Ashley

This sounds like the perfect way to start the day….other than the alarm. I could do without that. ?

Ashley
Michelle
Michelle

Oh man, wouldn’t that be amazing to get enough sleep that you just woke up without one???

Well anyway, wouldn’t you know this morning, Ellie woke up TWO minutes after my alarm went off! Can you believe that??

Michelle
Ashley
Ashley

I can! It’s a special gift these little ones have that they always fall asleep in the last 5 minutes of a car ride and wake up the moment the coffee is brewed and the pen is in hand. #talent

Ashley
Michelle
Michelle

It really is an amazing talent!! I won’t lie, I was feeling pretty discouraged. Here I’m trying to find a little pocket to squeeze in time by myself and time with God because I know that’s so important to do as moms…and I get punked by a cute, screaming baby!

Michelle
Anna
Anna

I TOTALLY get you!  I used to feel so guilty if a daily quiet time wasn’t happening, or if I’d take a nap instead of spending time reading or praying or even cooking or cleaning or doing all of the things moms have to do….  

But here is what an older mom told me once, and it helped a lot: God knows the phase that you’re in, and He wants you right there! While your schedule is different from day to day, it’s not reasonable to stress yourself out trying to find that “perfect” time. God also know that you need SLEEP to function. ?

Anna
Michelle
Michelle

Thank you for saying that! Reading that makes me feel like I can take a big sigh of relief that I am not the only mom who struggles to find time for herself and God–because sometimes I wonder if I am the only one who can’t figure this out!

And about the sleep, I remember reading someone say, “Sometimes the most spiritual thing you can do is go take a nap!” ?

Michelle
Ashley
Ashley

Napping may actually be my spiritual gift. Ha! But in all honesty, one thing I try to do EVERY SINGLE morning is pray.  I ask the Lord to fill me with His Spirit before my feet hit the floor, and then I’ve made it a habit to talk to Him during mundane tasks: folding laundry, doing dishes, vacuuming.  He wants to be in the busyness of my day, it just looks a little different now.  It’s more of multi-tasking fellowship rather than “quiet” time.

Ashley
Michelle
Michelle

Yeah, I agree. I love those uninterrupted quiet times but when it gets hijacked, you just gotta roll with it and find another pocket of time to replenish your soul.

This morning I clearly wasn’t going to get that so I just said to God, “Please fill me with Your love so that I can overflow with that to my girls.”

Michelle
Anna
Anna

Yes, Michelle! I don’t think we should underestimate the power of a quick prayer like that. ?

Another thing I try is to think, “When can I grab a few minutes to recharge myself today?” So in the event that the kids actually both nap at the same time, I take a quick evaluation of what I need most in that moment. Nap? Laundry? Time to Read?

Anna
Michelle
Michelle

Ha, Love that. My quick evaluation usually always leads to what do I need in order to be a better, more well-rounded mom…and usually that always means neglecting laundry and reading and writing instead! ?

Sometimes I think as moms we can get so focused on what just has to get done that we forget to even think about what we need–not just as moms but as women.

Michelle
Anna
Anna

So true. You have to fill yourself back up before you can give, give, and give some more.

Anna
Michelle
Michelle

YES! This encourages me to grab that needed time for myself in the morning–even if there are some days when it’s not so quiet.?  

Michelle

truth to inhale

 

Soaking in the Truth

Scripture to encourage you:

    • “Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.” Matthew 11:28-30

 


Music to inspire you:

    • Lord I Need You by Matt Maher
    • Same Power by Jeremy Camp

 


Readings to come alongside of you:

    • Three Reasons You’re Not Just a Mom from The Marathon Mom 
    • The Spiritual Life of a Busy Mom: Carving Out Time with God When There’s no Time to Be Had from Focus on the Family
    • How to Find Quiet Time With God When There is No Quiet Time from Heavenly Homemakers
    • Glimpses of Grace: Treasuring the Gospel in your Home  By: Gloria Furman

truth to exhale

 

Living Out the Truth

Ideas to try:

    • Even if we try to take care of ourselves, it is next to impossible as moms. There is always someone pulling on us and needing us. But that’s just it–there will always be a need. So take some time to look at your schedule and ask yourself, “what do I need as a woman to nurture my soul?” Is it art classes? A nap? A workout? Don’t let those needs be pushed to the side because someone always needs you.  (And we know, we know, it’s easier said than done. But it’s still so important!)
    • Give yourself grace if the time spent with God or by yourself doing things you enjoy looks differently now that you’re a mom. It’s hard to let those preconceived expectations go.
    • Share these struggles with other moms and see if you could do something to encourage each other. Maybe you could even read a book together to help each other take that time for yourself to grow your mind and relationship with God.
    • Talk to your hubby and see if you can brainstorm together a time to take just for you to be refreshed.  
    • Try listening to the Bible through the Bible App or other website while you are getting ready in the morning.  Find one piece of scripture you can hold onto through the day.
    • I started reading our ABC Scripture Cards with my daughter in the morning before taking her to school. Even on those mornings I didn’t get extra reflection time to myself, just soaking in a verse with her was really good for me.
    • Invest in this wonderful clock for your preschooler so you can grab a few minutes during the afternoon while she plays quietly in her room!
    • Many great ideas are shared in the articles above. One encouragement we found was that many moms have gone before us and felt similarly. You are not alone!

{These suggestions are ideas from novice moms. Sometimes our life situations need more. In that case, seeking out professional help is the right call.}


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Can Mama Get a Minute?

11 / 14 / 161 / 18 / 17

m2-selfishness

Michelle
Michelle

Ok, I just need to say this to a mom who would understand what I am talking about…

I hate to say that I get irritated when I am looking forward to some time to myself at nap time and then don’t get any. ? I want a little time to myself in a long day of togetherness!! ??

Michelle
Anna
Anna

I totally agree! I had no idea how much “me time” I actually had before kids — and how much I would miss it!

Anna
Michelle
Michelle

Exactly. I miss it. And I am also realizing that parenting is exposing some sides of me that I didn’t even know were there. ?

And more than that – sometimes even an entitled spirit. Like I didn’t know that I truly felt entitled to time to myself each day. Or even time to go to the bathroom by myself! ?

Michelle
Anna
Anna

Or two seconds to PUT MY UNDERWEAR ON before they need something!!!

Anna
Desi Kippes

What? You actually even get time to put underwear on?! ?

Anna
Anna

LOL ?

Anna
Michelle
Michelle

Haha, you guys crack me up! ?

Michelle
Desi Kippes

But I agree! I never knew the depths of my selfishness until I became a mom. In my early 20’s, I thought I was a rather generous, loving person. Then I got married.?? That began to expose this layer of selfishness, but motherhood really laid it open. So I hear you both!

Michelle
Michelle

Yes, I am realizing that motherhood has shown a side of me that I think God wants to shape and mold. Ugh, taking care of kids 24/7 is definitely bringing it to the surface! ?

Michelle
Desi Kippes

I hear ya. I’m trying to remember that God is working, and also that, in some ways, getting to see how “selfish” you are is a gift.

Michelle
Michelle

Hmm, tell me more…?

Michelle
Desi Kippes

Well, it’s a gift because I think that for every weakness, there is an opposite strength. If you can see this huge capacity for selfishness, that means God gave you that same huge capacity for love.

Anna
Anna

Deep stuff, Desi! ?

Anna
Desi Kippes

Now it is a matter of choosing which trait you want to grow.  I keep saying, “Here, Lord. Grow this ❤ because I certainly can’t do it on my own!?  

But you know what? It is not selfish to take some time to care for yourself or to not feel guilty for doing something like taking a nap instead of doing the laundry.

Michelle
Michelle

Totally.… But I think that is a text for another day about how we care for ourselves, ya know?

I do love this perspective you pointed out about asking God to grow my heart! ?  

I was just reading about this exact thing and this part stopped me in my tracks:

“Live freely, animated and motivated by God’s Spirit. Then you won’t feed the compulsions of selfishness.”

Michelle
Desi Kippes

I like it! I’ve certainly got compulsions! ? What verse is this?

Michelle
Michelle

Ha, me too. It’s in Galatians about the fruit of the Spirit.

Thanks for talking this through with me…I feel like what I am realizing is — it’s my human nature to want what I want. And especially as a mom when I give, give, give all day, I don’t feel like it’s asking a lot to just want a little smidge of time to myself.

Michelle
Desi Kippes

Or for your kids to sleep through the night! ?.

Anna
Anna

Or to eat my dinner while it’s actually still warm!

Anna
Michelle
Michelle

Riiight!  

So we gotta ask God to give us the energy and love and selflessness that only He can give when motherhood requires us to keep giving what we don’t have.

Michelle
Desi Kippes

True. It’s going to cause some surrendering…

Michelle
Michelle

Yes. Like when I really want to work on my to-do list or even just get dinner ready but my girls need something else from me instead, and I can feel the frustration mounting…

Michelle
Anna
Anna

YES!? I really hate that feeling…It’s like frustration and guilt at the same time!

So instead…?

Anna
Michelle
Michelle

Taking a moment to pause and ask God to give me His heart in the situation rather than my me-centered, just-want-some-time-to-myself one. Not my natural response, but as you said, Anna, one that is smoothing out my rough edges.

Now, remind me of this when I am up changing the sheets for a potty accident at 3am.?

Michelle

truth to inhale

 

Soaking in the Truth

Scripture to encourage you:

    • Galatians 5:16-18, The Message: “My counsel is this: Live freely, animated and motivated by God’s Spirit. Then you won’t feed the compulsions of selfishness. For there is a root of sinful self-interest in us that is at odds with a free spirit, just as the free spirit is incompatible with selfishness. These two ways are antithetical [mutually incompatible], so that you cannot live at times one way and at times another way according to how you feel on any given day.
    • Galatians 5:22,23 The Message:  “But what happens when we live God’s way? He brings gifts into our lives, much the same way that fruit appears in an orchard–things like affection for others, exuberance about life, serenity…Legalism is helpless in bringing this about; it only gets in the way.”
    • Galatians 5:22-24, ESV: “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self control…And those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passion and desired.”

Music to inspire you:

    • “Holy Spirit” by Francesca Battistelli

Readings to come alongside of you:

    • Spirit-Led Parenting from Insight For Girls
    • A Slow Death To Selfishness from I Believe
    • The Treasures God Longs to Give a Mom by Alicia Bruxvoort
    • The False Advertising About Motherhood by Lisa-Jo Baker 

truth to exhale

 

Living Out the Truth

Ideas to try:

    • As moms we can wait too long to take care of ourselves because we don’t want to be “selfish.” There is definitely a difference and we don’t want you to feel any guilt out of taking needed time for yourself!
    • When you feel the frustration mounting or the entitled spirit creeping in, ask God to help you know where it’s coming from and how He wants you to respond.
    • On a practical note, one of the best tools to teach my daughter to stay in her room, was this clock that turns green when it’s time to get up. Sometimes mama needs 45 minutes of time to herself and this clock helps teach my daughter this truth. ?

{These suggestions are ideas from novice moms. Sometimes our life situations need more. In that case, seeking out professional help is the right call.}

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