Michelle Warner | Texting the Truth

Laura

How are you feeling about sending your first to kindergarten, Michelle? ?

Michelle

My first thought is – I have no idea!? We have packed in a lot this summer and honestly, I think subconsciously I have done that because I’m afraid these moments are slipping away. I’m trying to soak them all up before she’s gone all day. This is going to be a whole new feeling in my motherhood!

Anna

That’s exactly how I was feeling yesterday too — at the park — I was thinking that I want to soak in the moments with my youngest going to K. But later that day, they kids were fighting and wanting to be fed constantly and I thought, “OK, I’m ready for school to start!”? It’s like this teeter-totter that I’m on!!

Laura

That’s so true. I remember 2 years ago when I sent my oldest to K, I was thinking I wasn’t ready. But he drove me so crazy the week before school started, I was almost relieved to put him on that bus! ? But this year I’m sending two more on that bus! How is it possible that my twins are going to kindergarten?! And what will happen this week to make me want to send them?! Always such a mess of emotions.

Michelle

That makes me feel better! I remember when I had two little ones 2 and under with absolutely no free time, I dreamt of what it would be like when I had some pocket of time like this. But now I think I feel a mixture of sadness that this season of uninterrupted time is over and also relief that I may have time to actually work out and read some more! ?

Anna

Yeah, I’m not gonna lie — I’m excited about having the occasional day to catch up on things and actually hear my own thoughts!

Laura

You have your own thoughts?!

Anna

I think they’re in there…?

Laura

I know what you mean. It is a little exciting to regain a little space for yourself. I am going to have 2 and a half hours a week this school year with no children in my house. I can’t tell you the last time I was in my house alone. ?

Michelle

Right?! Hold on, I’m trying to block out Doc McStuffins so I can focus! ha!

Anna

? But even with this desire to be alone, my stomach turns over when I think about my youngest stepping on that bus. My youngest… And my oldest stepping foot into the junior high school. Double flip-flops!! ?

Michelle

I can’t imagine that yet! Sophie wants to ride the bus but I’m just not ready to open her up to that much of the real world yet. ?

Laura

Sending kids to school does feel like a lot of “real world” doesn’t it? They are interacting with people I’ve never met. Spending 6 and a half hours a day with strangers– teachers, aides, bus drivers, other kids… lots of other kids. It can be a little nerve wracking, for sure!

Michelle

Oh my goodness, when you say it like that, I am starting to freak out! ? Sophie has hardly been away from me even at playdates! Now she’s going to be all day with people I don’t know. I think this is going to require a lot of strength and faith–for both of us!

Anna

I admit, with my first one, I almost followed the bus all the way to school on the first day. But I had a neighbor with me who was telling me it was going to be okay. That she was smart, and God was going to protect her. This is her, growing up. And I need to let that happen and trust. ?

Michelle

I guess it’s another stage of surrendering our kids to a loving Father and trusting He loves them more than we do, huh?

Anna

Absolutely. And for a while, it’s going to feel like you’re just putting one foot in front of the other. But it will get easier.

Laura

As moms, it’s so hard to trust others to care for our little ones. But we have a God who will help us with our emotional struggle as we watch our children grow up. Plus, God totally has our little ones’ best interests at heart. Even when they struggle (and they will) He totally has them.

Michelle

But I don’t want her to struggle! I want to protect her from struggle. But I know in my head that if she never struggled, she would never grow a strong resolve and faith of her own…

Anna

So true, even as hard as that can be to swallow at times. As we all struggle through it, both moms and as kids, God is building us up, making us stronger. Preparing us for what’s next.

Laura

You mean like jr.high?

Anna

Very funny.

Soaking in the Truth

Scripture to encourage you:

“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.” (Joshua 1:9, NIV)
“I prayed for this child, and the Lord has granted me what I asked of him. So now I give him to the Lord. For his whole life he will be given over to the Lord.” (1 Samuel 1:27-28, NIV)
“And the boy Samuel continued to grow in stature and in favor with the Lord and with people.” (1 Samuel 2:26, NIV)
“Teach me your way, Lord, that I may rely on your faithfulness; give me an undivided heart, that I may fear your name.” (Psalm 86:11, NIV)
“This is what the Lord says– your Redeemer, the Holy One of Israel: ‘I am the Lord your God, who teaches you what is best for you, who directs you in the way you should go.’” (Isaiah 48:17, NIV)

Music to inspire you:

“Deep Cries Out” by Bethel Music Kids
“Made for Me” by TobyMac (I know, this is totally a song about love and marriage, but there is one line that I want to apply to my kids… “I said I’d hold on loosely, but I so want to squeeze.” Hold loose, but want to squeeze… that says to me that I want them to know I love them, but trust them to God.)
“Do Everything” by Steven Curtis Chapman
“joy.” for King & Country
“You Say” By Lauren Daigle

Readings and Resources to come alongside of you:

7 Ways To Raise Strong Kids by iMom
Raising Strong Kids Podcast with Heidi St. John
Mentally Strong Kids Have Parents Who Refuse to do these 13 Things by Amy Morin
https://yourmomhasablog.com/2016/06/20/raising-christian-kids-in-a-public-school/
How to Trust God with your Children by Traci Miles

Living Out the Truth

Ideas to try:

Choose a theme verse for the year to pray with your child each morning before they head off for school (or begin school in your home!). Last year, I choose 3 different verses and let my oldest pick which one he wanted to use as his theme verse for the year. It was a great way to focus our prayers. (Laura)
The last two years, I let our oldest pick the dinner meal for the night before school (he always picks breakfast for dinner), but this year it’s not just him going to school, so the oldest ones will get to pick dinners for the whole week! (Laura)

Treasured Products we love:

Countdown to Kindergarten by Alison McGhee
The Night Before Kindergarten by Natasha Wing

{These suggestions are ideas from novice moms. Sometimes our life situations need more. In that case, seeking out professional help is the right call.}

Michelle

So I’ve been thinking about this for a while now and I finally bit the bullet: I deleted Facebook off my phone!?

Emily

Way to go!! I did this for a couple of months during Lent, and it was such an eye opener. What made you take a break?

Michelle

Well, I am embarrassed to admit that when I’m bored or stressed or whatever, I have just gotten really used to touching that little “f” on my phone and being transported to someone else’s life for a few minutes.?

Emily

I hear you. It’s crazy what an escape social media can be, isn’t it?! Sometimes I find myself “checking in” without even realizing it. Before I know it, I’ve wasted 30 minutes. ?

Michelle

Oh, me too. Really glad I’m not the only one. Is that why you took a break from social media at Lent?

Emily

Yes, and I realized it was taking energy that I could otherwise be pouring into my family. I know that God has given me a strong purpose as a mom, but when my nose is buried in social media, I can’t as clearly discern what that purpose is.

Michelle

You took the words right out of my mouth. That is what I am realizing too! I can scroll on my phone and see what all of these other moms are doing and what they feel their purposes are, and I can find myself almost watching them live out theirs instead of putting my phone down and living out the purpose God has given me…you know??

Emily

I can so relate. And while my purpose certainly isn’t the same as the next mom’s, God has given each of us a unique and sacred purpose to live out in this season. It may not appear Facebook worthy, but it is so valuable! What do you feel like your purpose is right here, right now?

Michelle

Amen to that.? I think my purpose in motherhood right now is to be present with my girls—physically and emotionally–so that I can connect with their hearts. And sometimes that means wiping a bottom or fixing lunch or coloring together. Not exactly “highlights” to post on social media, but important things that God has put before me. But I’ll admit, it is a struggle for me to actually be present sometimes. ?

Emily

Undivided time and attention can feel like the hardest part of motherhood for me some days. God has also been challenging me to be more present with my boys, especially in this season leading up to adding a new baby. It seems so simple to put my phone down at the playground and chase them, but it speaks love LOUDLY to them. ? But it’s not easy, especially when I feel like my to-do list is a mile long.

Michelle

Yes, there seems to always be never-ending list of things to get done. It’s such a balance because I don’t think mothering with purpose means we have to engage 24/7 (or even disengage from social media). I think it’s totally OK some days to sit on the bench looking at your phone while your kids play. But what I am trying to focus on is to be a little more reflective in my motherhood.

Emily

Hmm…so what are some ways reflection has given you direction in your purpose as a mom?

Michelle

When I take the time to listen to how God may be leading me throughout my day, I find that I’m much more able to be flexible when things don’t go like I planned. I can *respond instead of react* when things come up or when my girls may do something that catches me off guard (like when they paint in their brand new dresses and it stains!?). Sometimes this also means realizing I need to put aside what I want to do and instead invest in my girls.

Emily

That’s interesting you say that, because the other day I was sensing that my oldest needed some time at home with me, instead of going to school. Even though I was really looking forward to the down time, it ended up being the best thing for both of us. We were able to talk about big things he is feeling as he prepares for Kindergarten next year.

Michelle

That’s so awesome that you were able to step back and think about what he really needed rather than just marching through the day (something I can be guilty of). I bet you were only able to do that because you made some space to actually listen to God’s promptings… ?

Emily

Well, yes, I think we all have been guilty of not pausing long enough to hear God direct us in our day-to-day parenting, but it was a really good reminder to me that I need to take that time and be sensitive to those “nudges.”

Michelle

YES! Motherhood looks so different for each of us. And what He leads me to do, He may not do for you. But what I hear you saying is – we have to take the time to pause and listen to how God may be leading us as mothers. ?

Emily

Right, especially because of who He has entrusted us with: our children (who, I should mention, are created with such unique personalities and needs). I can’t think of a stronger purpose than raising our littles to love and walk closely with Jesus. ? But there’s no way I can do it unless I’m making time and space for God to speak to me. ?

Michelle

I love that. And so for me, I feel like putting more limits on my phone time can only increase my connection time with my girls, so that I can be present in the ways I desire to be. I pray that is so!

Emily

You got this, Mama! #bemomstrong ?

Soaking in the Truth

Scripture to encourage you:

“Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.” (Deuteronomy 6:4-9, ESV)
“Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.” (Romans 12:2, ESV)
“I therefore, a prisoner for the Lord, urge you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.” (Ephesians 4:1–3, ESV)

Music to inspire you:

Take My Life (and Let It Be), Chris Tomlin

Readings and Resources to come alongside of you:

The Best Yes by Lysa TerKeurst
The Missional Mom by Helen Lee *Living with Purpose at Home & In the World*
Hands Free Mama by Rachel Macy Stafford
How to Find Purpose as a Stay At Home Mom from Grace Filled Homemaking
Five Bible Verses to Ground You in Your Purpose as a Mom from the MOB Society

Living Out the Truth

Ideas to try:

One idea that I heard about this year in MOPS was making a mom and family mission statement. Here is a good place to start.
If you’re looking for your purpose as a mom, why not carve out time for one-on-one dates with your children? Those times will give you little glimpses into their hearts and ways to be present and connect with them.
Consider having a designated time each day where your phone is turned off/put away. One of the moms in our community shared that she leaves her phone in the other room on purpose so that she is more present with her children.
Practice mindfulness when reaching for your phone/laptop; ask reflective questions like, “What am I feeling? Am I missing out on being present for someone/something else?” and “Why am I opening social media right now? What am I hoping it will do for me?”

{These suggestions are ideas from novice moms. Sometimes our life situations need more. In that case, seeking out professional help is the right call.}