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Tag Archives: mindset

Be Mom Strong: Finding Our Identity

4 / 16 / 184 / 19 / 18

Emily

(deep exhale).  It’s been *a* morning.  You know, one of those mornings where I can’t seem to catch my breath, but I’m sitting down wondering what I did exactly for the last 5 hours?! ?

Katie

Oh, I can so relate! My morning has mostly consisted of changing a certain two year old’s clothes (the joys of potty training!??) and wiping crumbs off my kitchen table.

Emily

Sounds very familiar.  I did attempt to run a simple errand with the boys, but it was right on the brink of nap time, so the adventure ended in a rather embarrassing public meltdown (them, not me thankfully). ?

Katie

Lol. Definitely been there and done that!?

Emily

I don’t know about you, but sometimes I forget about the days of going into work bright and early (showered, might I add), putting in a full day, and coming home to a quiet house.  It feels like a lifetime ago!

Katie

Yes, it does! How life has changed! And, you know, when I was teaching the days weren’t necessarily easy, but at the end of each one, I did feel like I had accomplished something. I came home feeling a different sort of tired than I feel these days.?

Emily

Totally. Working a full-time career provided me with measurable outcomes, checklists, and results that I could see. ✓✓✓

Katie

I love checklists!? And results that I can see … don’t get much of that in the day-to-day of mothering.

Emily

Not so much.  I recently heard parenting compared to running a marathon; the days of raising up children are definitely more of a slow and steady race ?, where we don’t always see fruit (i.e. results) quickly.

Katie

Yep. And because I can’t see immediate fruit, I sometimes start to wonder what I’m really doing during these days filled with potty training and tantrums at the store?? I mean, what is significant about what I’m doing?

Emily

Yes! Sometimes I have this repeat conversation with God, that goes something like, “I know you’ve called me to this, more than you’ve called me to any other role, but why don’t I feel a sense of significance/value in what’s before me?”

Katie

I have had the same thoughts! I know that what I am doing as a mother is important, but it’s hard to always feel significant when the results aren’t visible or noticed, which I think is what I’ve realized I miss about working full-time. I miss having someone else tell me that I’m doing a good job.

Emily

Me too!! Those words of affirmation went a long way in motivating and encouraging me.  So much of being a mom goes unnoticed– especially the mundane, day-to-day tasks.  I’ve realized over the last five years since becoming a mom how much of my identity was wrapped up in both the work I did and the praise and affirmation I received. ??

Katie

Yes! From striving to get good grades in high school to looking for praise in my career and to now wanting to please every mom friend I have … I think I’ve also let my identity be determined by what I do and what other people think about what I do. Why do I do that?!?

Emily

I’m right there with you, friend.  And while those accolades are nice, they don’t offer any truth about who God says we are.  The praise of others will always change, but what God says about our identity in Him will always remain the same, regardless of the season we find ourselves in as mothers. ?

Katie

So, so true! Nothing will ever change that God made me and loves me. Seems so simple, but I think I need to repeat that truth over and over to myself. Because if I really understand that – deep, deep down in my heart – then I won’t need visible results and someone else’s praise to tell me I am significant. My identity is secure, because I am made and loved by God.

Emily

Indeed☝. I know when I walk confidently in those truths, it impacts my countenance, the grace that I extend to my children, and freedom I have in my other relationships.  I can hold my head high, even in a difficult moment like today (i.e. public meltdown). When God’s Word is at the foundation of my identity, it truly flows into all areas of my life.  

Katie

Amen, sister. Now I can get back to potty training with a whole new mindset.?

Soaking in the Truth

Scripture to encourage you:

  • “… I am fearfully and wonderfully made …” (Psalm 139:14, NIV)
  • [Jesus said] “I no longer call you servants … Instead, I have called you friends … You did not choose me, but I chose you.” (John 15:15-16a, NIV)
  • “He chose us in Him before the foundation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. In love He predestined us to adoption as sons through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will.” (Ephesians 1:4-5, NIV)
  • “Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving.” (Colossians 3:23-23, NIV)

Music to inspire you:

  • Who You Say I Am, Hillsong
  • Legacy, Nichole Nordeman
  • Live Like You’re Loved, Hawk Nelson

Readings and Resources to come alongside of you:

  • “Again, your identity, mama, is ultimately that you are a woman made in the image of God and a saint redeemed by Christ on the cross. Your identity is not found in what you do, but in Whose you are.” — Rebekah Hargraves from Lies Moms Believe: And How the Gospel Refutes Them
  • Captivating: Unveiling the Mystery of a Woman’s Soul by John and Stasi Eldredge. (This book was very influential in helping me understand who I am as a daughter of God.)
  • Mom Set Free: Find Relief from the Pressure to Get it All Right by Jeannie Cunnion
  • Becoming Mom Strong: How to Fight with All That’s in You for Your Family and Your Faith by Heidi St. John

Related Posts on Texting The Truth:

  • Real Security, Real Strength
  • In the Absence of Affirmation

Living Out the Truth

Ideas to try:

  • Several years ago, I took some time to look up Scriptures about who God says we are and how He views us. I typed up those verses and posted them where I could see and reread them regularly. Try to make your own list of favorite verses this week, and let His truth soak deeply into your heart and mind!

{These suggestions are ideas from novice moms. Sometimes our life situations need more. In that case, seeking out professional help is the right call.}

 

 

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When You Need a Vacation

8 / 7 / 178 / 7 / 17

 

Laura
Laura

So, you know how “vacation” prep is insane!  I mean, it is just not easy to move everyday existence with 4 little boys and a hubby to a location (albeit a beach location) other than homebase!

Laura
Michelle
Michelle

Oh my gosh, YES. Packing for a trip with littles is SO.MUCH.WORK!

Michelle
Laura
Laura

Yes! But somehow when I’m standing on the beach looking out at the waves, the whining and the bickering and the overtired grouchy little ones do seem less annoying than they do at home.?

Laura
Michelle
Michelle

Hmm, this is so true. Why do you think that is?

Michelle
Laura
Laura

I just think beauty does something for the heart.  Just looking out at the creation of God. The vastness of the ocean, the consistency of the waves, the life that is all around out there.  

Speaking of, we captured sea cucumbers one morning.  They totally creeped me out, but the boys were fascinated! Isn’t it cool that even children notice how amazing creation is?!

Laura
Michelle
Michelle

Yep, it goes back to that whole truth about how much we have to learn from children! Each time I get away from my messy kitchen and out with my girls, breathing in fresh air, it really changes my mood and helps me focus on what really matters. And by the way, I have never heard of a sea cucumber!  ? ?

Michelle
Laura
Laura

Well, they are strange little creatures, but even they inspired a deep longing in me for the Creator of the beauty.  When I seek Him first and find Him in nature, and thank Him for His creation, I find that I’m somehow satisfied.  I don’t have much reason to be upset at anything.

Laura
Michelle
Michelle

I think that’s why I feel near to God when I go to the mountains or the beach. It centers me to remember that the same God who brings the sun up every morning over the ocean is the same God who can work in my daily life. Looking at that beauty helps me remember how BIG God is.

But as I write this, what’s coming to mind is a beach vacation we took a few years ago and if I’m honest there were many frustrating moments. So really, it’s not really about the change of location – it’s deeper than that. ?

Michelle
Laura
Laura

Right, because dare I say that moms who live at the beach or in the mountains aren’t living an endless vacation and still need Him to work in their everyday lives too?!? So maybe I need to try to refocus on what’s right in front of me  at home.  Because the most awe-inspiring creation is US.  ?What if I could see past the annoyances and disobediences and see God in my little people.  Allow the beauty in them (in my husband, in myself even) to satisfy my heart and draw me close to the Creator everyday.  ? Wishful thinking?

Laura
Michelle
Michelle

This is good stuff. So what you’re saying is that I don’t need a vacation from my life, I really need God and His perspective. To ask God to help me focus on what He has put right in front of me instead of always wishing it to be different or more magical (something I can be guilty of for sure…).? 

Michelle
Laura
Laura

Yes. I could really use a vacation-mindset in my home all year long. And the cool thing is all we have to do is ask for His help to see Him in the midst of the craziness of our real lives.  He wants to be found.  

Laura
Michelle
Michelle

Amen to that. I want to remember that vacation is a nice change of scenery, but what my soul is really craving is God, and thankfully He is not confined to tropical locations. ?

 

Michelle

Soaking in the Truth

Scripture to encourage you:

  • “For since the creation of the world God’s invisible qualities–his eternal power and divine nature–have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that people are without excuse.” (Romans 1:20, NIV)
  • “Then God said, ‘Let us make mankind in our image, in our likeness, so that they may rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky, over the livestock and all the wild animals, and over all the creatures that move along the ground’… God saw all that he had made, and it was very good.” (Genesis 1:26, 31)

Music to inspire you:

  • “Oceans” by Hillsong United

Readings and Resources to come alongside of you:

  • Sea Cucumber Info… just in case you were wondering!  
  • Vacation by The Minimalist Mom 
  • “Genesis provides us with roots. Those powerful, winding, digging legs a tree sends into the ground to hold it firmly in place.  So why is it so hard to grasp?  Why do you and I struggle to see ourselves as marvelous creations of an artistic God?  Perhaps because we’re too caught up in the flaws to be captivated by the glory.” from I Am by Michele Cushatt
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We don’t claim to have motherhood figured out. Actually quite the opposite. We’re a group of women who first and foremost love the Lord and want to honor Him with our lives and talents. And we decided that what better way for us to sort out this beautiful and messy thing called motherhood but to process it together in text messages? Our prayer is that as we share our real-life stories and honest experiences, every mom who visits our blog will receive tangible truth and experience real grace.

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