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Tag Archives: Self-Image

More Than Butterflies and Blooms

7 / 19 / 197 / 19 / 19

In this week’s post, Cupcake Comfort, Jen and Virginia break down how hard it is to maintain self-control when we want to stuff our emotions with food. My path with this is dark and treacherous, so I am right there with them. They write, “It can be so frustrating to have to battle the same issue again and again. I can’t help but think, ‘Aren’t we over this one yet, God? I thought I dealt with all of that. Am I just not strong enough?’” ?‍♀️ Why do we put pressure to strong-arm ourselves into self-control at all times? Spoiler alert: we can’t.

The world likes to oversimplify this tricky business. Has anyone else noticed how most metaphors for weight loss, fitness, and diet have to do with some kind of big finish: the caterpillar turns into a butterfly, the ugly duckling morphs into a swan, or the seed sprouts ? into a beautiful bloom??‍♀️ The bloom, the swan, and the butterfly all symbolize these precious products, but they are not human. The human body’s journey is ever-more complex; a mother’s body is it’s own beautiful sojourn. Mamas, what if we stopped comparing our human bodies to butterflies and blooms?? ? 

I am truly not strong enough to maintain self control 100% of the time, because (unlike seeds and caterpillars) I experience anxiety.? I spiral out of control and back into the deeper emotional parts that render me elbow deep in a party size bag of Doritos. I need a good cry sometimes, and Carrie Underwood was right: I cannot cry pretty either. But, I also believe He is strong ? when we are weak, and we are all in this together as we learn to love ourselves unconditionally. When I start eating feelings, there are times I can catch myself and pray right in the middle of my binge. It helps me stop before I get deep in the dark place. Sometimes I have to pray the verse Hebrews 12:1-3 out loud. If I can’t Google it exactly, I repeat the phrases “Throw off this sin that so easily entangles” and “Fix your eyes on Jesus.”   

Mamas, I had to seek medical and emotional professional help in 2017 to make real change with my health, so I do not want anyone reading this post to think I was able to just pray my way to my best self. I also want to tell you this — I have lost 110 pounds and now I’ve uncovered a whole deeper layer of control issues in my heart. See? Not. A. Butterfly.??‍??‍♀️  All that being said, I am still OUT THERE this summer in my swimmy, because I am not going to waste one more moment wallowing in my insecurity when there are sand castles to be built, snacks to be handed out, and floats to spin and splash around in with my son and hubby. I pray you don’t miss out on any moments in the sun, Mamas.☀️ You are beautiful and fully loved. ?Jo

PS: The last part of the NIV version of that verse talks about how Jesus endured opposition and scorned shame. The shame is the hardest part for me, but I want to scorn it — Jesus didn’t go to the cross just for me to walk around as a Debbie Downer Christian.? I pray we can endure opposition to our goals, so we can be healthy examples for our kids and confident for our husbands.

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Mama Bear Fear

11 / 21 / 1611 / 21 / 16

an6-friend-probelms

Anna
Anna

Girls, help! Ashton has entered into a new stage of her girl friendships… Last week, I overheard certain friends being really catty with each other, leaving out other girls on purpose… ? ?

Then I started paying more attention, and I see it happening every day!

You all know that she just turned 10, so I guess this is normal for her age. But I’m stressing out about it!

Anna
Michelle
Michelle

Oh my goodness, just reading this brought me back to that age and I remember how mean girls could be. I hate that she is having to experience this. And you too, sweet mama!

Michelle
Anna
Anna

Now I’m super paranoid and wanting to listen in to every conversation. I want to rush in and stop nastiness from happening, but I know I can’t!

How can I protect her without overprotecting?

Anna
Michelle
Michelle

Good question…?

Michelle
Ashley
Ashley

Anna, you are one of the sweetest people! And I think she is naturally going to learn these things from you.

She is going to see what kind of friend you are to people, how you forgive HER when she is not obeying, and how you respect those around you. I think you’re doing more steering than you realize. ?  

Oh the girl world, it can be a scary place when people aren’t being nice!

Ashley
Anna
Anna

I know! And I want to steer her in the right direction of good friends and respect for other people, but I also know there is that delicate balance between steering her and micromanaging. ?

Anna
Michelle
Michelle

I agree. I also think in these moments we are teaching them that they don’t have to own everything someone says to them.

When my niece’s feelings were hurt over some mean-girl comments, my sister-in-law wisely said to her, “You get to decide what you believe about yourself.” ?

How powerful that we can teach them that other people’s words don’t define them, but most importantly God’s words about them do.

Michelle
Ashley
Ashley

I love that! It also gives us the chance to teach them to be builders not destroyers, to be peacemakers not instigators, and to choose to stand their ground even if it means standing alone.

By His grace what others use to hurt, He will use to refine. No one ever said refining was fun though! ?

Ashley
Anna
Anna

I love that too. Thank you.?  Sometimes I forget that trying to control or “fix” the situation isn’t what God is asking me to do. And this growing up stuff can be used for good. Thanks for steering me away from my mama-bear fear.

Anna

truth to inhale

 

Soaking in the Truth

Scripture to encourage you:

    • So we can confidently say, “The Lord is my helper; I will not fear; what can man do to me?”  Hebrews 13:6
    • And a voice from heaven said, “This is my Son, whom I love; with him I am well pleased.”  Matthew 3:17
    • “I praise you because I am beautifully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.”  Psalm 139:14
    • “But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be children of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. If you love those who love you, what reward will you get?”  Matthew 5:44-46

Music to inspire you:

    • Every Bit of Lovely by Jamie Grace

Readings to come alongside of you:

    • “How Do I Talk to My Daughter About Being a Good Friend?” from Dannah Gresh’s “Secret Keeper Girl” Blog
    • How Does God See You? from She Is More Blog.

truth to exhale

 

 

Living Out the Truth

Ideas to try:

    • Take your daughter out for a special treat and talk about the four areas from the article above. Focus on how your daughter can BE a good friend. (The last paragraph in Area 2 will help you to talk about the girls in her life that might not make the best friends right now.)
    • Pray for the girl(s) who are not being nice to her right now. Pray with your daughter. Use Matthew 5:44-46 to teach your daughter to show love, even when it’s hard.
    • Talk your daughter about the concept of not owning everything that’s said to her. How can she gracefully handle the situation but not let it affect her negatively?
    • Look at the verses about identity (above) with your daughter. Discuss with her – what does God’s Word say about who you are?

{These suggestions are ideas from novice moms. Sometimes our life situations need more. In that case, seeking out professional help is the right call.}

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We don’t claim to have motherhood figured out. Actually quite the opposite. We’re a group of women who first and foremost love the Lord and want to honor Him with our lives and talents. And we decided that what better way for us to sort out this beautiful and messy thing called motherhood but to process it together in text messages? Our prayer is that as we share our real-life stories and honest experiences, every mom who visits our blog will receive tangible truth and experience real grace.

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