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Tag Archives: surrender

Not-So-Simple Christmas Lists

12 / 21 / 183 / 6 / 19

Anna
Anna

Michelle. I need to ask for prayer because everything just feels so heavy today. I am looking ahead to the weekend and Christmas coming and just feel like my head is spinning.

Anna
Michelle
Michelle

Well, I am really sorry you’re feeling that way. Truly. But I also feel slightly better because I am feeling the same way! I feel like I have a running list in my head of all that needs to get done and it just feels overwhelming.

Michelle
Anna
Anna

YES, a running list for sure! It feels like the list is sprinting and yelling at me at the same time. Meanwhile I’m like, oh gosh, I am missing the merriest time of the year!

Anna
Michelle
Michelle

Exactly. We went to look at Christmas lights as a family and I was trying my hardest to enjoy the experience but I just couldn’t get my mind to shut off. The details just kept spinning in my head. And then I was frustrated with myself that I wasn’t soaking up the moment and enjoying it more.

Michelle
Anna
Anna

A mentor of mine sent me an email that said, “I hope you are putting your feet up by the fire and drinking hot cocoa and enjoying the lights on your Christmas tree.” And I was like, HUH? Maybe in a few days. Then again, at this rate, maybe not.

Anna
Michelle
Michelle

Oh man, me too. And you captured how I feel right now – I just can’t seem to let down and relax. I think it goes back to running list thing. And nevermind the fact that I still need to pick up my house, prepare food, and wrap presents before everyone comes!

Michelle
Anna
Anna

Right. See, the thing is, we’ve been talking about simple Christmas. But I don’t know how to make my list simpler. I feel like a lot of this stuff isn’t optional. It’s pretty essential. Like how can I cross off “clean the guest bedroom” and “get stocking stuffers?” And all the other things are like that.

Anna
Michelle
Michelle

I hear ya. Make the meal for when the family arrives and wrap presents all feel pretty essential. So what do we do about it? And what exactly is a simple Christmas? Does it mean taking things off the list or does it mean having a different mindset?

Michelle
Anna
Anna

Maybe you are right. I was thinking “simple Christmas” like “easy” or “less!” Maybe easy is not the goal. Because I don’t know if that’s possible.

Anna
Michelle
Michelle

I don’t think that’s how it works for moms at Christmas 🙂 But honestly I need something to work, so how can we make this a simple Christmas even with lots on our lists?

Michelle
Anna
Anna

Honestly, I don’t know. But here’s a thought — The other night I was getting ready to go to a Christmas party. I hadn’t showered because of all the things that had come up that day, I had not wrapped my gifts, and my van wasn’t very clean (I was taking 6 other ladies to the party) and I was just like – ya know, this is just me. This is what I’ve got. So I’m going with it! I sprayed a lot of perfume on me (and the van), and I threw my presents into really old gift bags. And it was FINE! Really fine and a lot of fun.

Anna
Michelle
Michelle

Ha, love it. So maybe it was a matter of letting go? That’s good…and what I need to hear as I think about hosting two sets of family in the next week and a half. I think I have a vision for how I want it to go and usually that is an unrealistic expectation. So what is realistic as we go into this busy time?!

Michelle
Anna
Anna

Do you remember when we talked about the whole concept that “C+ works”? Maybe we need to let ourselves off the hook that it doesn’t have to be A+ with everything going the way we pictured.

Anna
Michelle
Michelle

I think that is so true. I’m trying so hard to make everything be so amazing, but really, every moment for the entire season isn’t going to be like that. I think I need to be okay with real life seeping into the holiday. And to accept the grace God has already given us!

Michelle
Anna
Anna

I love that. We forget the grace. To ourselves, and to others…during this time of year that can be extra-intense.

Anna
Michelle
Michelle

And you want to know another thing? I was praying about this in the shower and this is the verse that came to mind – “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart and you will find rest to your souls,” Matthew 11:28, 29.

Michelle
Anna
Anna

I think that’s what a lot of moms really want for Christmas. Rest for their souls. Being okay with crooked lights or kids crying with Santa or last-minute gift buying, or whatever the real-life case may be because, even in that stuff, we can rest in knowing God doesn’t require much of us. He just wants us to come with our tired hearts. And we will find rest. And maybe some simple beauty in this Christmas.

Anna

Soaking in the Truth

**Scripture to encourage you:

*“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart and you will find rest to your souls.” (Matthew 11:28, 29)

*“For to us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government will be on his shoulders.  And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.” (Isaiah 9:6, NIV)
“For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” (Matthew 11:30, NIV)

**Music to inspire you:

*“I Need a Silent Night” by Amy Grant

**Readings and Resources to Come Alongside of you:

*”You can decide that every time people gather around your table, your goal is nourishment, not neurotic proving…you can decide…Nourishing the people around our tables means ignoring the clamorous voices of our own insecurities and tending instead to the needs of the people we have invited in.” -Shauna Niequist

**Related Posts on Texting The Truth:

What If We Had a Simple Christmas?

Living Out the Truth

**Ideas to try:

1. If you feel yourself starting to feel anxious about your to-do list or a certain task you need to get done, take a minute to step back and ask:
Is this thing necessary?
What would a C+ job look like on this task?
Have I let go of that A+ vision in my head?

2. Watch your self-talk: Is it sounding harsh to yourself? Is it sounding harsh about the people around you? Stop and give some grace. Maybe that sounds like…
I did my best.
I’m sure he/she did their best.
This is what I’ve got to offer! And it’s perfectly okay!
C+ works.
Really think about C+ Works for a sec — See if it doesn’t lower your blood pressure a couple notches!
C+ gifts work. They really do.
C+ class parties work.
C+ cleaning of the house works.
C+ meals work.
C+ decorating works.

3. You know what doesn’t work at the C+ level, at least for too long? Not enough sleep. Make sure you’re getting enough sleep at night if you can.

{These suggestions are ideas from novice moms. Sometimes our life situations need more. In that case, seeking out professional help is the right call.}

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A Season of Mending

11 / 12 / 1811 / 12 / 18

Anna
Anna

Once again I have failed at getting nominated for the Mother of the Year award! I yelled at my son… And of course, now the kids are in bed and I feel horrible.

Anna
Virginia

Oh boy, I feel like I am finally recovering from a whole season of that junk!

Anna
Anna

Ahh, recovery is possible?!? Got any tips on turning things around?

Anna
Virginia

Yes, recovery is possible, but it is not instantaneous. You know I had not noticed but it had building for a long time. I called my mom one day and she made a comment about my son’s behavior and it stuck with me. It really had gotten bad. My son and I had been screaming at each other daily for several months, but I had just taken it to be typical 5-year-old behavior and blaming him for our bad days.

Anna
Anna

Easy to do. And sometimes hard to know what’s “typical” or a phase, and what’s not. Did your mom’s comment make you feel defensive?

Anna
Virginia

Actually, no. I knew my mom was saying it out of love and concern for both of us. I didn’t take at as an attack on my parenting style, though I would have had it been a stranger’s comment. She even suggested we get outside help. That part of her comment actually threw me into a panic. Although I was okay with seeing counselors for my own problems, when something happened with my child, it was heartbreaking.

Anna
Anna

I totally get that. It seems more intense somehow, when it’s related to one of your kids. So did you see the counselor? Did it help?

Anna
Virginia

Yes, and it helped immensely! I’m laughing because, as is often the case, people come to counseling telling the therapist: “X person is the problem. Help me change X.” All good counselors respond to that demand with: “Okay. Let’s talk about you a little bit first.”

Anna
Anna

Ugh. The big turn-around! And like the log in your own eye, kind of thing. That’s hard work.

Anna
Virginia

Yes! They always have that magic way of helping you realize what to do on your own and not focusing on the other person. It is a little like magic. When you change your own behavior, things usually do change.

Anna
Anna

Amazing, but so true. It’s just like turning a huge ship around! So did the counselor give you any practical strategies to use with your son?

Anna
Virginia

We talked about parenting strategies and self care. I am using a chore chart for his morning routine and have cut down on the amount of television we watch each day. I’m also learning to manage my own stress and self care is a huge part of that.

Anna
Anna

Good stuff… Tell me more about the stress management and the self care. What do you do now that you didn’t before?

Anna
Virginia

I wasn’t taking care of myself and the stress was accumulating. It has to go somewhere and that somewhere was, sadly, my precious boy’s heart. So now I make it a priority to take a walk by myself, eat well, and listen to music.

Anna
Anna

It really does accumulate. For me, I usually don’t even know it’s building up until it’s too late and I’ve let it explode out of me.

Anna
Virginia

Same here! There is no prize at the end for forsaking one’s own mind and body.

Anna
Anna

There’s not??? Oh bummer. I might have a shot at that award (unlike the MOTY one, ha).

Anna
Virginia

But God doesn’t ask us to!

Anna
Anna

Ahhh. You are so right. Sometimes I actually stop and ask myself, “What is God asking me to do here?” And it’s never to be a martyr. It’s not to drive myself into the ground so that I can live up to the expectations portrayed in the movies and TV and even well-meaning strangers’ suggestions.

Anna
Virginia

Unfortunately believing that lie was what got me into my mess. I was striving to the point of fatigue and frustration to be the “perfect mom.” There are no perfect moms. Ironically, I was working so hard that I was neglecting my own child. So I now see that not taking care of myself hinders me from taking care of others. It’s not me above them; it’s me and them. Moms don’t have to choose.

Anna
Anna

Yes!! We’ve got to tear down that lie in our minds and hearts. It’s like a giant facade that we have to demolish. How did you fight this lie?

Anna
Virginia

I am focusing on how God sees me. God does not condemn me. He’s not waiting to punish me; He is waiting for me to come to Him for comfort when I make a mistake.

Anna
Anna

I just love reading those sentences. I could read them over and over!

Anna
Virginia

I need them tattooed on my forehead, for real! Lol. God’s Word is like a new white tee shirt. You put it next to your old white tees and they seem dingy in comparison. We need that crispness of God’s truth to stand next to the lies that lead us astray.

Anna
Anna

Me too. And I love that image. It’s so true.

Anna
Virginia

Yes! That’s really the key. First we ditch the lie that we have to be perfect. Once I was secure in God’s love for me, I could take care of myself — and then I was able to have the emotional, mental and physical energy to devote to repairing the relationship with my son.

Anna
Anna

Wow, amazing how that security leads to the mending of your relationship. So everything is healed?

Anna
Virginia

Haha, for the most part. We have certainly come out on the other side of that season but relationship building is a lifelong process. Every day I need to find moments to take care of myself and connect with my son. At the end of the day, I reconnect with God and what He thinks of me and that helps me start again the next day.  

Soaking in the Truth

Scripture to encourage you:

  • “There is a time and for everything, and a season for every activity under the sun; a time to tear and a time to mend,” (Ecclesiastes 3:1, 6a).
  • “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus,” (Romans 8:1).
  • “Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God,” (Romans 15:7).
  • “It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery,” (Galatians 5:1).

Music to Inspire you:

  • “Known” by Tauren Wells
  • “More Than You Think I Am” by Danny Gokey
  • “He Knows My Name” by Francesca Battistelli
  • “I Get To Be the One” by JJ Heller

Readings and Resources to come alongside you:

  • She’s Gonna Blow! by Julie Ann Barnhill
  • Scream Free Parenting by Hal Runkel
  • Podcast: Don’t Mom Alone

Related posts on Texting the Truth:

  • Redeeming Angry Moments
  • Searching for What to Keep
  • Beautiful in His Time: A New Season

Living Out the Truth

Ideas to try:

  • Anger is often described as a secondary emotion. Ask yourself, “What is underneath this anger? Is it loneliness, anxiety, hurt, need, or something else?”
  • Write anger management statements on index cards such as “I am only responsible for my behavior.”
  • Find an outlet for your frustration and stress. Do you enjoy listening to music or a podcast? Can you do that while you wash dishes or prepare dinner? Would you enjoy a family walk around the block after dinner, or ask for an hour of alone time on a Saturday morning?

Treasured Products we love:

  • A Stress-Relieving Essential Oil Roller Blend, like doTERRA’s Calm Mama (my fav), or this one on Amazon: Chill
  • EO Bubble Bath

{These suggestions are ideas from novice moms. Sometimes our life situations need more. In that case, seeking out professional help is the right call.}

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We don’t claim to have motherhood figured out. Actually quite the opposite. We’re a group of women who first and foremost love the Lord and want to honor Him with our lives and talents. And we decided that what better way for us to sort out this beautiful and messy thing called motherhood but to process it together in text messages? Our prayer is that as we share our real-life stories and honest experiences, every mom who visits our blog will receive tangible truth and experience real grace.

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