Mothering on Purpose

Michelle
Michelle

So I’ve been thinking about this for a while now and I finally bit the bullet: I deleted Facebook off my phone!😳

Michelle
Emily

Way to go!!  I did this for a couple of months during Lent, and it was such an eye opener.  What made you take a break?

Michelle
Michelle

Well, I am embarrassed to admit that when I’m bored or stressed or whatever, I have just gotten really used to touching that little “f” on my phone and being transported to someone else’s life for a few minutes.😬

Michelle
Emily

I hear you.  It’s crazy what an escape social media can be, isn’t it?! Sometimes I find myself “checking in” without even realizing it.  Before I know it, I’ve wasted 30 minutes. 🙈

Michelle
Michelle

Oh, me too. Really glad I’m not the only one. Is that why you took a break from social media at Lent?

Michelle
Emily

Yes, and I realized it was taking energy that I could otherwise be pouring into my family.  I know that God has given me a strong purpose as a mom, but when my nose is buried in social media, I can’t as clearly discern what that purpose is.  

Michelle
Michelle

You took the words right out of my mouth. That is what I am realizing too! I can scroll on my phone and see what all of these other moms are doing and what they feel their purposes are, and I can find myself almost watching them live out theirs instead of putting my phone down and living out the purpose God has given me…you know??

Michelle
Emily

I can so relate.  And while my purpose certainly isn’t the same as the next mom’s, God has given each of us a unique and sacred purpose to live out in this season.  It may not appear Facebook worthy, but it is so valuable! What do you feel like your purpose is right here, right now?

Michelle
Michelle

Amen to that.👊 I think my purpose in motherhood right now is to be present with my girls—physically and emotionally–so that I can connect with their hearts. And sometimes that means wiping a bottom or fixing lunch or coloring together. Not exactly “highlights” to post on social media, but important things that God has put before me. But I’ll admit, it is a struggle for me to actually be present sometimes. 😬

Michelle
Emily

Undivided time and attention can feel like the hardest part of motherhood for me some days.  God has also been challenging me to be more present with my boys, especially in this season leading up to adding a new baby.  It seems so simple to put my phone down at the playground and chase them, but it speaks love LOUDLY to them. 💗 But it’s not easy, especially when I feel like my to-do list is a mile long.

Michelle
Michelle

Yes, there seems to always be never-ending list of things to get done.  It’s such a balance because I don’t think mothering with purpose means we have to engage 24/7 (or even disengage from social media).  I think it’s totally OK some days to sit on the bench looking at your phone while your kids play. But what I am trying to focus on is to be a little more reflective in my motherhood.

Michelle
Emily

Hmm…so what are some ways reflection has given you direction in your purpose as a mom?  

Michelle
Michelle

When I take the time to listen to how God may be leading me throughout my day, I find that I’m much more able to be flexible when things don’t go like I planned. I can *respond instead of react* when things come up or when my girls may do something that catches me off guard (like when they paint in their brand new dresses and it stains!😖). Sometimes this also means realizing I need to put aside what I want to do and instead invest in my girls.

Michelle
Emily

That’s interesting you say that, because the other day I was sensing that my oldest needed some time at home with me, instead of going to school.  Even though I was really looking forward to the down time, it ended up being the best thing for both of us. We were able to talk about big things he is feeling as he prepares for Kindergarten next year.    

Michelle
Michelle

That’s so awesome that you were able to step back and think about what he really needed rather than just marching through the day (something I can be guilty of). I bet you were only able to do that because you made some space to actually listen to God’s promptings… 🤔

Michelle
Emily

Well, yes, I think we all have been guilty of not pausing long enough to hear God direct us in our day-to-day parenting, but it was a really good reminder to me that I need to take that time and be sensitive to those “nudges.”   

Michelle
Michelle

YES! Motherhood looks so different for each of us. And what He leads me to do, He may not do for you. But what I hear you saying is – we have to take the time to pause and listen to how God may be leading us as mothers. 💗

Michelle
Emily

Right, especially because of who He has entrusted us with: our children (who, I should mention, are created with such unique personalities and needs).  I can’t think of a stronger purpose than raising our littles to love and walk closely with Jesus.  💗 But there’s no way I can do it unless I’m making time and space for God to speak to me.  🙏

Michelle
Michelle

I love that. And so for me, I feel like putting more limits on my phone time can only increase my connection time with my girls, so that I can be present in the ways I desire to be.  I pray that is so!

Michelle
Emily

You got this, Mama! #bemomstrong 💪

Soaking in the Truth

Scripture to encourage you:

  • “Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.”  (Deuteronomy 6:4-9, ESV)
  • “Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.” (Romans 12:2, ESV)
  • “I therefore, a prisoner for the Lord, urge you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.”  (Ephesians 4:1–3, ESV)

Music to inspire you:

Readings and Resources to come alongside of you:

Living Out the Truth

Ideas to try:

  • One idea that I heard about this year in MOPS was making a mom and family mission statement. Here is a good place to start. 
  • If you’re looking for your purpose as a mom, why not carve out time for one-on-one dates with your children? Those times will give you little glimpses into their hearts and ways to be present and connect with them.
  • Consider having a designated time each day where your phone is turned off/put away. One of the moms in our community shared that she leaves her phone in the other room on purpose so that she is more present with her children.
  • Practice mindfulness when reaching for your phone/laptop; ask reflective questions like, “What am I feeling?  Am I missing out on being present for someone/something else?” and “Why am I opening social media right now? What am I hoping it will do for me?”

{These suggestions are ideas from novice moms. Sometimes our life situations need more. In that case, seeking out professional help is the right call.}

About Michelle Warner

The truth about me is that I love spending time with people–whether it be with moms in MOPS, students in writing camps, friends in my supper club, or family on our patio. And if you combine people and words, I am definitely in my happy place. One of my most favorite moments is sitting around a table with the people I love sharing deep conversations about life. Inviting people into our home and pulling out my fancy dishes invigorates me, though tackling the hand-wash pile in my sink does quite the opposite. (Sorry, Hubby. I’ll get to those soon!) I’m learning to enjoy the people in my life without feeling the need to prove myself or always make them happy. God continues to teach me that when I find what I need in Him rather than the perfectly-cooked chicken or the perfectly-timed word, I have a security that can’t be shaken. And that’s a good thing since my hard-working husband and I have two very determined little girls who keep us on our toes!

2 thoughts on “Mothering on Purpose

  1. Okay! This is totally the truth and I so love this conversation. REALLY! And…my favorite part? “We have to take the time to pause and listen to how God may be leading us as mothers. 💗” YES! and Amen!!!

  2. Oh my goodness, I loved and needed this. I could have written some of those texts! Being mommy means laying aside so much sometimes- my own tasks, my own ideas of how to spend my time etc. Been praying a lot for God’s wisdom about what to prioritize minute by minute. I know God has given me my son and I want to honor God in the littlest moments.

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