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Author: Michelle Warner

Moms in Progress: Michelle Warner

6 / 12 / 196 / 12 / 19

Katie

As part of our ongoing Moms in Progress series, we will be taking some time this summer to chat with our blog team writers – to hear more about their daily lives as moms and about what God is teaching them. Today I am excited to hear from TtT founder and editor, Michelle Warner!

Michelle
Michelle

Thanks, Katie! I’m excited to share today. I’m not usually on this side of the text so this is fun.

Michelle
Katie

To get us started, Michelle, could you share a recent photo of your family and tell us a little about it and them?

Michelle
Michelle

Well, I’ll be honest, I had to dig a little to find a recent family pic! 🙂 That one is a photo taken of us at Spring Break in Florida. My husband and I recently celebrated our 11th anniversary and my girls are 6 and 4. It has been a bit of a stressful time in the last few months (more on that in a minute) so when I look at this picture, it reminds me of how important it is as a family to put aside work and house projects and phones and just connect. I’m hopeful for a lot more of that this summer!

Michelle
Katie

That sounds like a great summer goal! How is summer going so far?

Michelle
Michelle

It feels like it is just starting! My daughter’s last day of kindergarten was later than a lot of the schools around here so I feel like we’re just coming into summer. We are also in the process of moving so summer has definitely revolved around cleaning our house for showings and moving things over to the new house and making renovation decisions. My husband and I just talked about surprising our girls in a few weeks with a trip because we need that time like I mentioned earlier to just connect.

Michelle
Katie

Moving is such a stressful time! So much to do! Have you been able to listen to or find any truth (in a podcast, quote, conversation, etc.) this week to help you?

Michelle
Michelle

I’m going to be super honest here. I have found that when life is really busy for us (which is now), I don’t take time to breathe in good truth. It’s like I’m just trying to keep up and do the next thing. I’m focused on keeping one foot in front of the other so I’m sadly not spending enough time listening and reflecting. And it means instead of reading in my spare moments, I’m scrolling Facebook or watching HGTV just to check out. I know that doesn’t feed my soul like reading would but I’ve realized checking out is a default behavior for me during stressful times.

So when I saw this question, at first I wanted to rack my brain of something that stood out to me the last couple of weeks and just gloss over the truth. But this blog is all about being real, right? So here ya go – I haven’t read any good books or articles recently and haven’t even listened to a podcast in much longer than I want to admit. I’m embarrassed to say that but maybe a mom needs to hear this “confession” so we can encourage each other. Some seasons are just crazy and maybe what we need more than anything is to ask again for Jesus to fill us up and accept the huge heaping serving of grace He offers us. #preachingtomyself

Michelle
Katie

For sure! I think we can all relate to those busy seasons where we are just trying to stay afloat! And let me just say it’s ok! Sometimes you just can’t add anything else to the circuit boards, if you know what I mean.

Michelle
Michelle

Yes…and I said that about grace above because I can tend to beat myself up over not doing all of the “right” things that I “should be.” I’m learning over and over to give myself grace and stop “shoulding” on myself. 🙂 This is a crazy season for us. Yes, I want to be more intentional with my time and not just check out when I finally get a moment to let down. But you know what? It’s not always going to be like this. Hopefully soon we will be settled into our house and the big renovations will be behind us (and maybe some day we’ll sell our other house!!) and I will have more mental energy to prioritize the things I have let slide.

And back to the circuit board comment, I’ve been saying recently that I feel “over capacity.” And you know what? I think that is actually good because it makes me a lot more dependent on God because I literally can’t do it on my own. The one verse that keeps coming to my mind in this season is one of my favorites – “My grace is sufficient for you for my power is made perfect in weakness.” (2 Corinthians 12:9) Paul answers that by saying, “Therefore I will boat all the more gladly about my weakness, so that Christ’s power may rest on me…For when I am weak, then I am strong.” (12:10)

Michelle
Katie

Life will return to normal soon and there will be plenty of podcasts to listen to when you are settled in your new place! Such a helpful perspective to remember about a temporary season in life! In this season, what is currently your hardest parenting struggle?

Michelle
Michelle

Hmm. I could answer this in many ways. 🙂 I just have to pick one? I’ll pick the thing that we dealt with this morning and that is the girls nitpicking about little things at one another. Some moments they play so well, and then other moments they compete and intentionally do things to aggravate each other. Oh, and then tattle tale!

I was just praying about how I can help foster teamwork between my girls and hopefully this summer will have moments of working things out together in the midst of the other real stuff. 🙂

Michelle
Katie

Sounds familiar! Oh, the joys and complexities of sibling relationships! What is going well currently?

Michelle
Michelle

Again, I’ll be honest…with so much going on, I feel like I’m not giving enough intentional time to my girls. I’m trying to keep it on my radar but sometimes it just feels like even with the best of intentions, house projects still eat up the time. But all of that to say, my husband and I have started one-on-one date nights with our girls again. And they have loved it. It is reminding me all over again why these times alone when them are so important for growing our our relationships and feeling connected.

Michelle
Katie

So true. Do you have any other thoughts you want to share?

Michelle
Michelle

Hmm, I’m not even sure if I have coherent thoughts to add right now. 🙂 ha. One thing that just came to mind is that I have been doing some reading about the Enneagram. Well, I should say a couple of months ago I was reading about it 🙂 but it’s stuck with me. And it’s been really helpful for me to know more of myself and especially my pitfalls. It said on my results that in stressful situations I can tend to be controlling. I have been thinking about this a lot in our current season because I admit that I have been more controlling than I wish I was. It’s caused me to pause in some of those moments and think about why I am acting a particular way. I’m looking forward to doing more reading on it when I have more capacity but I’d love to hear if any of our readers have gotten into the Enneagram. And specifically if they have any podcasts or resources they have enjoyed. 🙂

Michelle
Katie

Understanding ourselves better can be so validating (and sometimes a bit convicting ?). I’m sure when this season has passed you’ll have more time to explore that!

Michelle
Michelle

Oh, and last thing –

Michelle
Katie

Of course! Lay it on us!

Michelle
Michelle

I do want to add how thankful I am for this blog team. You all have been such an amazing team to work with. I feel like after our Lent break, we are being a lot more mindful about what our priorities need to be and how we can use our gifts well to make that happen. I feel so blessed to be surrounded by such thoughtful women and moms to process life with!

Michelle
Katie

And we are so blessed to have you as our leader! We are all so thankful for your honest perspective in the midst of this season of change and the stress that accompanies it (even when we know it’s good). Thanks for sharing with us today, Michelle!

Do you have a story to tell? Would you like to be featured in a future Moms in Progress post?  Just click here (or the image above) and answer a few questions including the details of your story.  We will do the rest.

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Let’s Chat with Katherine: The Power of Story for our Kids

3 / 2 / 193 / 3 / 19

The Power of a Story for our Kids

I’m excited to be here this month to share a great resource you didn’t even know you needed! You know that in the past few months I have shared some book reviews (click here and here to see those).

Let’s Chat with Katherine from The Comfort Table

But today I have something a little different for you.

If you have sons, you probably want to teach him things like honor, courage, character and honesty.  But, wanting to and actually doing it are two different things entirely.

I ran across this resource in teaching character to boys and I thought it was too good not to share. First, a little background…

Michael Gurian, author and educator

Michael Gurian is an author, family therapist and educator that has worked with school districts, families, churches and criminal justice agencies.  He has written extensively on child development and has written over ten books.  I heard him speak on this podcast and found his wisdom to be incredibly valuable.  He returned to Read Aloud Revival again to speak on the topic of girls and why listening to them is so incredibly important.

Through these podcasts, I wanted to learn more about what Gurian had to offer and found this little tool.  It is called What Stories Does My Son Need?: A Guide to Books and Movies That Build Character in Boys.   

source

The Format

First, there are 100 books and 100 movies chosen over the course of a boy’s life.  These stories are broken up into age groupings that are best appropriate for the child.  Next, Gurian gives 3-4 simple questions to engage your child that highlight certain character traits.  For example, when discussing The Giving Tree by Shel Silverstein, he asks, “Can you think of a time when you cared too much about yourself and not enough about someone else?  Why is giving as important as getting?”  The questions are simple, invite engaging conversation and don’t feel laborious.

The Power of a Story

Dr. Gurian says: “A decade of research into child development and the media confirms that until a child’s brain develops fully, it is imprinting, modeling and performing based on imagery it takes in from all social sources, including the media.  Even once we’re adults, our brains remain malleable to media imagery, as the continued effectiveness of commercials confirms.  But among children and adolescents, the effects are even more profound.  Especially until about age sixteen, the greater the exposure a boy gets to stimuli that do not teach compassion and self-restraint, the more difficult it becomes for him to learn such things.”

He goes on to say that storytelling is powerful, but even more powerful neurologically speaking.  To our kids, the stories they watch and hear and read are not only for entertainment but also a fountain of moral teaching as well.  Because of testosterone (the sex and aggression hormone), boys often gravitate toward stimuli that appeal to these aggression-based images.  Therefore, they can be exposed to images and content that is way too mature for their young minds.

If you consider the way humans previously used stories, adults would share folk tales to share stories about heritage, identity and character.  Fairy tales were later introduced to teach young ones how to progress through to maturity and the Bible is used to help our children understand spiritual concepts.  Today however, Gurian says:

“In our contemporary confusion about the worth and substance of stories–a natural confusion, given that millions of stories bombard us daily–we have forgotten their highest use.  In our busy lives, we have been unable to cull the useful stories from the useless.”

But as parents we can share good stories with our kids. This then gives our children the chance to watch (or hear) how someone else displays honor without them having to live it.  Then, when a situation demands their own honor (and we all know it will), they’ve had the time and space to think through how they can and should handle it on their own.  We want to teach and prepare our kids for everything but it is impossible.  But through the power of a story, we can share the experiences of others to prepare them for their own.

Maybe you are a parent of only girls.  Don’t discredit this great resource!  We all want our sons to understand self-sacrifice and empathy.  But girls also need  these traits and to identify these traits in the men around them as well.

You know that I’m very passionate about books and reading to my kids.  But if these stories can help give my kids the tools they need for making the right choice and choosing the right friends, it is worth every penny.  It is my hope that you find this resource valuable for your family as well.

What books or movies are valuable to you for sharing moral lessons with your kids?  What books or movies had a profound impact on you as a child? 

This was originally posted on The Comfort Table by Katherine Salinas. Click here for her original post and to learn more about her.  And click here for more of Katherine’s heart about motherhood.

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