Oh boy, I feel like I am finally recovering from a whole season of that junk!

Yes, recovery is possible, but it is not instantaneous. You know I had not noticed but it had building for a long time. I called my mom one day and she made a comment about my son’s behavior and it stuck with me. It really had gotten bad. My son and I had been screaming at each other daily for several months, but I had just taken it to be typical 5-year-old behavior and blaming him for our bad days.

Actually, no. I knew my mom was saying it out of love and concern for both of us. I didn’t take at as an attack on my parenting style, though I would have had it been a stranger’s comment. She even suggested we get outside help. That part of her comment actually threw me into a panic. Although I was okay with seeing counselors for my own problems, when something happened with my child, it was heartbreaking.

Yes, and it helped immensely! I’m laughing because, as is often the case, people come to counseling telling the therapist: “X person is the problem. Help me change X.” All good counselors respond to that demand with: “Okay. Let’s talk about you a little bit first.”

Yes! They always have that magic way of helping you realize what to do on your own and not focusing on the other person. It is a little like magic. When you change your own behavior, things usually do change.

We talked about parenting strategies and self care. I am using a chore chart for his morning routine and have cut down on the amount of television we watch each day. I’m also learning to manage my own stress and self care is a huge part of that.

I wasn’t taking care of myself and the stress was accumulating. It has to go somewhere and that somewhere was, sadly, my precious boy’s heart. So now I make it a priority to take a walk by myself, eat well, and listen to music.

Same here! There is no prize at the end for forsaking one’s own mind and body.

But God doesn’t ask us to!

Unfortunately believing that lie was what got me into my mess. I was striving to the point of fatigue and frustration to be the “perfect mom.” There are no perfect moms. Ironically, I was working so hard that I was neglecting my own child. So I now see that not taking care of myself hinders me from taking care of others. It’s not me above them; it’s me and them. Moms don’t have to choose.

I am focusing on how God sees me. God does not condemn me. He’s not waiting to punish me; He is waiting for me to come to Him for comfort when I make a mistake.

I need them tattooed on my forehead, for real! Lol. God’s Word is like a new white tee shirt. You put it next to your old white tees and they seem dingy in comparison. We need that crispness of God’s truth to stand next to the lies that lead us astray.

Yes! That’s really the key. First we ditch the lie that we have to be perfect. Once I was secure in God’s love for me, I could take care of myself — and then I was able to have the emotional, mental and physical energy to devote to repairing the relationship with my son.

Haha, for the most part. We have certainly come out on the other side of that season but relationship building is a lifelong process. Every day I need to find moments to take care of myself and connect with my son. At the end of the day, I reconnect with God and what He thinks of me and that helps me start again the next day.