So… I just found out my friend, who is my same age and has a one-year-old baby, has cancer. ?
Oh, Michelle, I’m so sorry to hear this. This must really hit home for you in a way that not everyone can understand. Are you doing ok?
It’s definitely causing me to freak out internally because of my cancer history. I’m such a feeler and I’m feeling horribly for what she is going to have to go through because I know that road well. ?
That’s totally understandable. I think it’s so hard not to internalize these things. As a mother the thought of sickness, whether it’s us or our kids is a nightmare.
Yeah, agreed. If I’m not careful of keeping my thoughts in check, I can begin reading into every ache and pain of mine and worrying about every symptom my kids have. Hearing stories like this kick up my fears about what could happen and sometimes it can be so hard to trust God with our own lives and babies in the midst of all this heaviness!
I hear ya. I found that Facebook was causing my fear and anxiety to skyrocket. Everyday there is a new Go FundMe page or story of a child battling cancer, or a spouse who is now raising kids solo. It hurts my heart to see these, but I also realized I was carrying their stories around in an unhealthy way. I know so many people personally going through things that I can’t also take on the hurts of complete strangers. It’s something I can do to guard my heart.
I agree. I’m struggling with trying to remember that her story is not mine and as sad as I am, acting like it’s mine isn’t healthy for me …even if I feel a ton of empathy and compassion for what she’s going through. (That’s taken a good amount of counseling and prayer to be able to realize that!)
It can be so hard to keep your mind steadied on the One who has a plan for you and for your littles. Maybe you don’t want to go here, but you are in a unique position to encourage your friend. You are familiar with her fear. You are familiar with choices she will have to make about her care. You know better than most how much this sucks. You know the questions she will ask God. The anger. You know because you’ve walked a similar road. Not identical, but similar. Keeping and finding healthy boundaries for your thinking: key! But don’t be afraid to reach out to her with a prayer or a card and let her know you know these things.
That’s such a good idea, Laura! The Lord definitely doesn’t give us a spirit of fear, It even says that in the Bible. But God does give us special empathy and compassion for those around us who are suffering. I think we have to pray that we can supernaturally have the heart for people without the fear. Man, is it hard!
I think that’s just it. Writing this out with you helped me see a really important truth: I can use the energy that in the past has freaked me out, and ask God to turn it into courage–courage for myself and to give to others. That totally reminds me of my friend’s new book, Fear Fighting. Her subtitle says, “awakening courage to overcome our fears.” That’s what I want God to do in my heart – to grow bravery in me so that I can look at these fears in the face and fight them with truth. I wish it was as easy to do this as it is to write these words but I guess that’s where prayer and faith come in.
Yes! Nothing about this situation will be easy! You’ll have to acknowledge the fear for what it is, but then fight the fear with the courage that you get from God. And in the wisdom of Star Wars, may His force be with you, Princess Leia…I mean, Princess Michelle. ?
Ha, love it. That’s actually quite fitting because during my chemo treatments my hubby used to call me Princess Warrior. ? ⚔️ I’ve learned with God at our side, we are much, much stronger than we ever imagined.?
Soaking in the Truth
Scripture to encourage you:
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- “When I am afraid, I put my trust in you.” Psalm 56:3
- “Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing?…Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.” Matthew 6:25,34 (All of the verses in between are great too!)
- “Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.” 2 Corinthians 1:3,4
- “For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline.” 2 Timothy 1:7
- “We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.” 2 Corinthians 10:5
- “Fear not; stand still (firm, confident, undismayed) and see the salvation of the Lord which He will work for you today…The Lord will fight for you, and you shall hold your peace and remain at rest.” Exodus 14:14, Amplified Bible
Music to inspire you:
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- Sparrows by Jason Gray
- You Make me Brave by Bethel Music
- You are For Me by Kari Jobe
- Cast My Cares by Tim Timmons
- When I am Afraid by Steve Green – (this is featured on our Treasured Products page too. It is cheesy but my girls love the cd and dvd.)
Readings to come alongside of you:
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- Caring Through Cancer from Insight For Girls Blog
- Fear Fighting: Awakening Courage to Overcome Your Fears by Kelly Balarie
- Becoming a Princess Warrior from Insight For Girls Blog
- “What does a warrior princess look like? Think Joan of Arc. Think Mother Teresa. Think Esther. Think Mary of Bethany. Think Arwen. Think Eowyn. Think Deborah. Think Mary, Jesus’ mother. Women who [are] wise, cunning, strong, beautiful, courageous, victorious, and very present.” – Stasi Eldredge in Captivating (featured on our Treasured Products page)
- “As painful as the process may be, that which shatters our superficiality also shatters the fetters of our fragility and frees us to walk with dignity and might to our destinies. We are not the fragile flowers we’ve considered ourselves to be. We, like Esther, are the warrior princesses of God” -Beth Moore in Esther: It’s Tough Being a Woman
- “Courage comes from a heart convinced it is loved.” -Beth Moore in Esther: It’s Tough Being a Woman
Living Out the Truth
Ideas to try:
I wrote a series of three blog posts about the subject of fear and what to do about it on my personal blog. Rather than rewriting the strategies, I’d love to direct you to them. They are based off of the book, Brave Mom: Facing and Overcoming Your Real Mom Fears by Sherry Surratt.
- Becoming a Brave Mom: Let It Out Let It Go from Insight for Girls Blog
- Becoming a Brave Mom: Face the Fear from Insight for Girls Blog
- Becoming a Brave Mom: Attack Anxiety from Insight for Girls Blog – This post has the most practical strategies if that’s what you’re looking for.
{These suggestions are ideas from novice moms. Sometimes our life situations need more. In that case, seeking out professional help is the right call.}
What a unique blogging format!! I love it. So sorry for the hardship of cancer in your past and in loved ones’ lives. I just prayed for you all and for your friend. Thanks for exemplifying godly friendship here and pointing to the One who is the reason we can fight fear well!
Thank you for the prayers. They are so appreciated. Love that comment about fighting fear well! Yes to that. 🙂