Category Archives: Brave Mom

Moms in Progress: Melody Thompson

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Virginia

Hey Melody, I’m excited for you to share your wisdom with our readers!

Look at this happy group. Tell us a little about your family. 

Melody

I would be delighted. Here we have my husband Jason, our oldest Levi (6), Jonathan (1.5 yrs), baby Solomon (6 mo), and myself. We are far from pErFeCt – notice the lack of professional quality to the picture. I don’t even like how I look in this picture but I love it because it is actually my entire family in one picture. Our family has been going through a rough season and just to be all together in one place is a blessing.

 

Virginia

Well, I’m glad you’re in it! It’s easy for moms to be absent from the picture for the sake of looking good but this proves you were there. 🙂 

So we can see that you’re totally a #boymom! No one rocks it like you do, my friend. What should we know about these sweet boys? 

Melody

My oldest, Levi, who just turned 6, is spunky, outgoing, encouraging, smart, inventive and strong-willed. I love him and all his inventions and art projects (that may or may not end up in the trash), but boy has he driven me to read and re-read parenting books.

 

My Jonathan, who is just over 18 months, is my sweet, helpful, funny, entertaining, and, who like his older brother, is also strong-willed. I think God is playing a joke on me and he’ll turn compliant at age 2, haha. He can entertain an entire group of adults and keep them in stitches, and he doesn’t even talk in full sentences yet.

 

My Solomon is just 6 months old. He has a winning smile and a calming presence about him. He has had a very busy little life with a couple days in NICU, lots of doctors visits, and 17 days in the hospital that ended in major surgery. I’ll get into it more later but, long story short, he’s doing great! In general anyway, I’m typing this from a bed in the ER at John Hopkins All Children’s Hospital because he has walking pneumonia. Thankfully,  they are sending us home with meds. Whew!

Virginia

You and I both know people love putting you in charge, especially when you’re up to your eyeballs in responsibility. What else is going on? 😉

Melody

Besides being a mom, I lead a Mommy & Me playgroup at church once a week. I also head up our church’s nursery volunteers. My husband, Jason, is a high school band director so sometimes I am running errands for the band.

Virginia

I remember those errands, like cooking A LOT of BBQ in your own kitchen! ? You get into the craziest predicaments but you handle hard and crazy stuff with grace. 

How do you keep your sanity and encourage yourself?

Melody

It’s not easy, that’s for sure. Right now, I’m enjoying Lysa TerKeurst’s book “It’s Not Supposed To Be This Way” and her other works. I love the Calm Parenting Podcast and Dr. Dobson’s Family Talk, too. 

Virginia

Would you mind sharing more about Solomon’s medical issues and how that has impacted your faith?

Melody

Sure. At the age of 4 months, Solomon landed in the hospital after having a breathing episode where he turned blue. That began a 17-day hospital stay, including a major surgery. Basically, it was similar to open-heart surgery but they worked on his windpipe instead of his heart. The challenge during this time was giving my children back to God. They are His anyway. Why am I worrying about them when the Creator of the Universe has them?

 

Virginia

Definitely! So how did you make that happen?

Melody

Basically, you let some stuff fall through the cracks, but for a purpose. I had to give up making sure Levi’s Kindergarten homework was done (and I still haven’t really picked that chore back up ?‍♀️). I had to give up knowing what was going on all day everyday with my older two children while I was stuck in the hospital 1.5 hours away. I had to give up knowing what’s best for my baby and trust medical professionals with his life. 

Virginia
Contributing

You had a lot of challenges. I remember you texting me that you weren’t allowed to feed him for maybe 7 hours and how stressful that is/was with a newborn? You had the ability to feed him but not the permission. Now, that’s a test!

Contributing
Melody

Yeah, that was a bit insane. I couldn’t control any of the things I normally control for my children: bedtime, teeth brushing, meals, books, clothes, snuggles, nothing… But you know what? They all survived and handled the situation with ease. The medical professionals knew how to handle Solomon. Friends and family took fantastic care of Jonathan and Levi. And somehow Jason and I survived on little to no sleep and strange hospital food.

Virginia

Ugh, the loss of control is SO hard, even though it’s probably want God wants from us the most.

What advice would you give someone going through that kind of struggle?

Melody

Keep giving your children and family back to God, because we all know as a moms we keep taking things back from God when we shouldn’t. In this life you will have situations that are more than you can handle. But if you entrust those situations, your entire life, and family to God, a peace will come in those overwhelming situations. Don’t give up trusting the Creator of the Universe when life seems to not give you any breaks. Sometimes some of “life’s setbacks” are actually setting you up for success in harder situations to come.

Virginia

That’s great advice that comes from seeing God come through for you personally. I’m so proud of your faith!

Let’s lighten this up a bit. I know one of them has said something silly lately. Care to share? 🙂 

Melody

I was cleaning something with a little bleach in the bathroom and for some reason my 6 yr old knows that smelling bleach can burn your lungs and he says, “Jonathan, we got to get out of here. That smell is going to give us the pneumonias”. ?

Virginia

Lol, at least Levi’s trying to take his bro out of there, instead of pushing him in further! 🙂

Anything else you’d like to share with our readers?

Melody

My best advice is to trust God with everything even those little people that you might consider selling to the traveling circus. Pray to Him about everything big or small. Pray in the heat of battle with your child. Pray over their angelic sleeping body. Pray over their health. And when the tough times come it will be easier to use His strength to carry you through. And secondly go find yourself a mom BFF. One you can text, call, encourage and rant to or in my case, angry text. 

You’ve heard this before and it needs to be said again, and maybe put on a tee shirt: God has specifically given your children to YOU, not to anyone else but YOU. He knew you would be the mom they needed. Don’t ever forget that. 

Virginia

I’m happy to be one of your happy/angry/crazy text recipients. To be fair, a lot of times they are also infused with comic relief. You really need to write a book, as I say regularly. 🙂 

 

Thanks for sharing!

 

 

A Time to Be Silent, A Time to Speak

As a self-proclaimed “extroverted introvert,” finding the balance ⚖️ between what fills me up and what drains me has always been a craft that’s required some fine-tuning.
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It’s no secret that communication is key ? in absolutely every area of our lives – essential to the continued growth of our marriages?, the always-evolving relationships we have with our children?, interactions with other moms, our friends, and family ?.
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As a child, I mistook my introverted tendencies to be an innate flaw ?. I was surrounded by extroverted mentors, many of whom I greatly admired. I wanted terribly to be naturally outgoing, to feel comfortable in overwhelmingly social situations, and to be the person with just the right thing to say at the right time. It took me a long time to realize I’m simply not wired that way – rather, I’m exactly the person {and personality} that God intended ?.
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In the early years of our marriage, I found it all too easy to brush the day-to-day under the rug ?. My husband and I are both pretty easy-going people, and work schedules, household chores, and life in general always required us to take turns making our fair share of sacrifices?. Fast forward to the unforeseen moment when something small would inevitably spark a conversational spew?, and my poor husband would get hit with a stream of grievances he’d never seen coming?– and, let’s be honest, weren’t even an issue most days – until it just so happened that the emotions boiled over? (with, perhaps, exhaustion, loneliness, or anxiety truly to blame)?‍♀️. It didn’t take us long to realize that our communication habits, and give-give-give mentalities, needed a reboot ?.
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Even my prayer life changed when I became a mom??. My go-to reflection on the drive to work each morning was always, “Lord, please be on my mind ?, on my lips ?, and in my heart ?.” This remains of primary value to me, but I also credit the rigors of motherhood ?? with teaching me to foster a real, raw, and ongoing relationship with God – to engage Him in more than just the moments I’m feeling most grateful, or needy ?.
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How about you, Mama? Can you relate?
Like everything else in life and motherhood, this can be a work in progress??. So here’s what I’m learning…
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I’ve learned that introspection is a gift ?, not a flaw. I’m not wired to be as extroverted as some of my peers, family members, or friends, and you know what? That’s ok. It’s more than ok, actually, because when God wired me, He did so in the way that best suited my gifts and talents ??. I’ve learned that extroverted ease is something I can appreciate in others, without feeling the need to emulate☺️. Can I speak up for what’s right? Do I enjoy getting involved in activities that matter to me, meeting new people, and growing through fellowship? You bet I do. Am I a good friend, and an even better listener? ? I certainly try to be. If I can answer all of these questions resolutely, then I’d say I’m extroverted in all the right ways. The drive to speak up and the desire to be truly seen and heard go hand-in-hand ???, and I want to do both according to where my heart leads ?–not because I feel I’m supposed to.
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In our marriage, my husband and I work to maintain ongoing communication?. We’ve learned to vocalize how we’re feeling before it ever becomes a problem – no matter how significant or silly – and we feel heard every step of the way? (not just at the breaking point?). We step in for one another in small ways when we can, and without asking, before one or the other of us is completely exhausted ?, or blows up without warning. In his book, Everybody Always, author Bob Goff says, “We make plans, and God sends us a person.”  That spouse of mine? He’s my person – my life’s partner – and I’m an integral part of his plan, too. Don’t wait for date night to check in and catch up. ?
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I credit being a special needs mom with pushing me toward more openness and vulnerability in all of my relationships✨. Rather than desiring to “have it all together,” I can appreciate God’s constant reminders for humility. And guess what? Opening up about all of the less-envied parts of motherhood has made me a better mom, more relatable, and approachable?‍♀️. Turns out that when you open your heart to others, they feel safe enough to do the same – and what an incredible gift that is ?.
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The bottom line, Mama? Do what works for you??. Let your gifts and interests lead you to where you’re meant to be ➡️. Don’t be afraid to speak up and share your heart, but also know when it’s time (and ok) to just listen❣️.

Our God? He’s doing the exact same thing.

For us. ?  

Every. Single. Day.
?Jen

Soaking in the Truth

Scripture to encourage you:

  • “There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the Heavens…a time to be silent and a time to speak.” (Ecclesiastes 3: 1, 7b).
  • “If boasting is necessary, I will boast about my weaknesses” (2 Corinthians, ‪11:30‬).
  • “There are different ministries, but the same Lord” (1 Corinthians, 12:5).
  • “For the spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love, and self-discipline” (2 Timothy, 1:7).
  • “You’re my place of quiet retreat. I wait for your word to renew me” (Psalm 119:114).
  • “Let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth” (1 John, 3:18).

Music to inspire you:

Readings and Resources to come alongside of you:

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Living Out the Truth

Ideas to try:

  • Ask yourself these questions: 

o   What fills you up?
o   What drains you?
o   What are your passions?
o   How can you use your God-given talents?
o   What areas of your life need some tweaking?

  • Start small, and be patient with yourself! Learning to find the balance of that works for you is a special sort of give-and-take juggling act. Do you find yourself over-committed more than you’d like, or are there areas in your life where you could free up some space?  For me (Jen), I’ve learned that if we’re looking at an exceptionally busy few days, I should also schedule some time on the calendar to do absolutely nothing and refuel with my family.
  • Talk to your partner. Where do you feel you can improve as a communicator in your relationship? As your family grows, your relationship needs to evolve with the ever-changing ages and stages. Don’t forget to check in regularly.
  • Do something special for your partner, just because. ?
  • Talk with your kids about what they perceive to be their strengths and gifts. Where do they need a little more confidence? Are they more introspective processors, or does it fill them up to be the life of the party? In a world where it’s too easy to be just like everyone else, we can do our kids a huge favor by encouraging them to use their unique talents and gifts to make the world a better place.

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