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Category Archives: #beautifulinHistime

Searching for What to Keep

11 / 5 / 1811 / 8 / 18

Courtnee

So do you remember how I purged all our belongings before we moved to Florida?  It’s only 10 weeks into the school year and I am drowning in paperwork! I will have to plant a few trees after my son’s kindergarten year!

Laura
Laura

I’ll need to plant a whole forest to compensate for the dead trees, now that all four of my boys are in some form of school, I cannot even believe the mountains of paper on our kitchen counter and table.   I have a system, but when the system gets backlogged by life, it’s ugly.

Laura
Courtnee

My pile is SO deep we lost an assignment sheet and now we are a week behind on the Native American diorama assignment! #secondgradehomeworkformom #thisonebelongstodad  

Laura
Laura

Oh no!  I’ve so been there!

Laura
Courtnee

If my goal is one tote per child that holds treasures from K through 12, I have to decide EACH WEEK what to get rid of and what to keep!

Laura
Laura

Or everyday!  So many decisions!  It’s hard to know what to keep and what to throw away.  I sure hope you have an “ah-ha” moment to help me make these decisions because my Pinterest file folders (Yes, I totally printed the cute labels and everything!) are filling up fast! #wishicouldsaveitall

Laura
Courtnee

Laura, you’re not gonna believe this, but I do have an “ah-ha” moment that came back to me.  I was reminded this week of the children’s picture book that changed my perspective and guided me during the house purge. 

Laura
Laura

Well that sounds amazing!  What’s the book?

Laura
Courtnee

It’s called Rain School by James Rumford.  It’s a story about a teacher and her students building a simple school structure from mud bricks and a grass roof in the African country of Chad.

Laura
Laura

I’m intrigued… what happens?

Laura
Courtnee

Their first lesson is to build the school.  When the students finally get to sit down on the mud benches they built, they are eager to learn.  

Laura
Laura

That is some serious hands-on learning–building their own school and desks?!

Laura
Courtnee

Then the older children reassure their younger siblings they will get a pencil and a notebook of their own.  What a difference from our mounds and mounds of papers.

Laura
Laura

No kidding.  I’m thinking with my former-teacher brain for a minute.  What would I have those students put in that one notebook?  I would have to be so selective with what to “keep” in the curriculum!

Laura
Courtnee

And then at the end of the school year, the heavy rains come and the mud structure and mud desks begin to gradually wash away, but  “the students’ minds are fat with knowledge. Their notebooks are rumpled from learning.”

Laura
Laura

I’m not going to lie.  That sounds a little sad.  All their hard work… their school… just gets washed away? 

Laura
Courtnee

But the author writes: “It doesn’t matter.  The letters have been learned and the knowledge taken away by the children.”

Laura
Laura

That is a great perspective.  It is really about what is in the hearts and minds of the students.  No wonder this changed your perspective!

Laura
Courtnee

While doing our whole house purge, when I got stuck on whether to keep something or not, I would say “Rain School” or look at the “Rain School” sign I made.  I would ask myself, “Has this item already served its purpose in our lives?” I found it was easier to let something go when I realized I had something inside me (or my family) that was more valuable, longer-lasting and portable than the object.  

Laura
Laura

That’s true.  That’s what is really important.  I love this idea! Eventually the content of the papers are just going to be in their minds. The love of learning and the dear friendships are going to be imprinted on their hearts.  Math worksheets, sight words, and even the cute crafts don’t really matter.

Laura
Courtnee

But Laura, here’s the kicker.  The Sunday School paperwork.

Laura
Laura

Oh, right.  You mean the papers that “prove” they learned something about God?!  

Laura
Courtnee

Bahahahah!   Actually my problem is the  “talking sheets” from Sunday school that I’m just filing  away rather than using. It’s not because I don’t want to talk with them about God and what they learned on Sunday afternoon; it’s because I’m overwhelmed with paperwork and they’re clamoring for lunch, not spiritual conversation. 

Laura
Laura

Oh, right!!  You are just failing as a mother there!  Not using your “talking sheets” from Sunday school to guide the spiritual development of your children?!  How dare you file those papers… I hope you sense my sarcasm here! ???

Laura
Courtnee

So since I’m overwhelmed by the paperwork, can I just rely on my relationship with my children and my heart to teach them?

Laura
Laura

Right!  Because the papers aren’t really what’s important here.  You said it just a little bit ago. It’s what’s in their hearts and minds.  Let’s just say our kids’ hearts are their one notebook. As parents we want to be pretty selective on what gets written down in there.

Laura
Courtnee

And even though they don’t say it to us, they are “writing” our interactions with them into their notebook.  The values we are teaching them carry a weight because we have a special connection to their hearts as their parents.

Laura
Laura

And what gets into their hearts and minds is what you are talking to them about over and over and over.  If the “talking sheets” help you decide, by all means keep it, but if not, I don’t think you need to worry too much about using every resource.

Laura
Courtnee

My good friend, Jane, told me she always disagreed with her parents because it was a safe place to work out her beliefs.  But what her parents didn’t know is that she always took their side when she had discussions elsewhere.

Laura
Laura

That is good to think about. Because sometimes it feels like the conversations don’t really stick in their heart notebooks.  Plus what I really want to show my boys is that there are ways for them to search out what is good for their hearts and minds on their own.  And there are things that they need to give up thinking about. Concerns that they need to give up worrying about. Habits that they can give up for good. 

Laura
Courtnee

Yes, I want my kids to have a filter for the things they are experiencing because my kids are “bringing” a lot of things home from school that concern me.  My regular prayer has been for God to guard their hearts for them and teach them how to filter what they allow into their hearts and minds.

Laura
Laura

What a great prayer!  I am going to pray we can help them make the search for good become second nature.  And on the other hand, the choice to give up what’s unhealthy a choice they aren’t afraid to make.

Laura
Courtnee

This is so hard because we are like mama bear snipers wanting to pick off anything we think would be harmful to our kids.  But in reality we need to step back and realize we are trail guides pointing them toward Jesus and His invitation to be a wholehearted person in a world full of good and bad choices.  

Laura
Laura

I know it will take time.  Sort of like I had to come up with my system of what papers to save and what papers to throw away.  We just keep on trying to show them. It’s a constant process.

Laura
Courtnee

Lord, help us to invite and inspire our kids to journey toward you every day.  Will you be their leader and ours in sorting through what to keep and what to let go of.

Laura
Laura

Amen!  

Ok… I’m inspired! I’m off to tackle the pile on my kitchen counter.  And while I sort, I’ll be praying for our kids to do the same.

Laura

Soaking in the Truth

Scripture to encourage you:

  • “There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens:… A time to search and a time to give up, a time to keep and a time to throw away.” (Ecclesiastes 3:1,6, NIV).
  • “Remain in me, as I also remain in you.  No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine.  Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me.” (John 15:4, NIV)
  • “Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life.”  (Proverbs 4:23)
  • “But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.” (Matthew 6:33, NIV)

Music to inspire you:

  • “Build My Life” Peyton Allen, Bethel Worship Music
  • “Voice of Truth” by Casting Crowns
  • “Fear is a Liar” by Zach Williams

Readings and Resources to come alongside of you:

  • Growing Kids with Character: Nurturing Your Child’s Potential, Purpose, and Passion by Hettie Brittz
  • Parenting the Wholehearted Child: Captivating Your Child’s Heart with God’s Extravagant Grace by Jeannie Cunnion

Related Posts on Texting The Truth:

  • Beautiful in His Time: A New Season
  • Decluttering Our Spiritual Closets
  • Finding Strong Priorities Under the the Clutter

  • I (Courtnee) am decorating the kids room with their school art.  I have SO many sight word sheets that I am also going to get creative with cutting them up and building some sentences on the wall.  I see it as my “Rain School” that will contribute to their learning for the year. Do you have a space in your house to use their school paperwork to build your Rain School?  Go off the Pinterest grid and see how you can be creative with your space and your stuff to build your Rain School out of what the kids bring home!
  • I (Laura) have one large bulletin board for cute crafts and other work that we are really proud of.  Like the 10/10 correct spelling words that someone worked so hard to get! These papers go on display for a season.  They get replaced with the next season of work. When I take the craft down, I have a little system if it gets trashed or not.  First is is somehow personal to my son? Does it display his handprint? His personality? Something unique to him? If his craft looks just like all the other student’s crafts, it usually gets trashed.  If I am unsure or for some reason just feel attached to it, then it goes into a holding bin that I have for each child. Twice a year, I look at the holding bin and decide if those papers will make the cut and go into my Pinterest file box.  One folder per year in one box K-12!!!
  • Beyond the practical systems of sorting and keeping, we can all be in prayer for kids.  Pray with us? Lord, be with _________(child’s name) today.  Protect his/her heart’s notebook. We ask that You would be his/her teacher.  Show him/her what to write down today about the world that You have made and what he/she should know about You from what they heard from friends and learned from teachers.  Help me as his/her mother to reinforce what you want him/her to keep in his/her heart. Help me to talk everyday about You and what You want my dear child to learn. Amen.

Treasured Products we love:

  • The Rain School by James Rumford

{These suggestions are ideas from novice moms. Sometimes our life situations need more.

In that case, seeking out professional help is the right call.}

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A Time to Embrace, A Time to Refrain

10 / 29 / 1810 / 29 / 18

For me, the onset of motherhood came suddenly.
…
It was a Friday – Valentine’s Day?, actually. I sent a letter home to each of my students’ families, letting them know that the long-term sub would be stepping in after Spring Break. I started to visualize nesting, putting a nursery together, baby showers?. I took pictures of my students as they played holiday-themed party games, and chatted with parents at the Valentine’s Day celebration.  I left school that day feeling excited, optimistic, orderly✔️.
…
What I never could have expected was that I wouldn’t be returning.

***
Earlier that week, I had requested a meeting with my school principal to discuss maternity leave.

“The High-Risk doctor thinks I should stop working around 30 weeks,” I said nervously?, “but Spring Break falls around Week 32, so I’ll start my maternity leave then.” Our principal was an approachable, thoughtful, and family-first kind of guy, but my Type A mindset had me stuck in a place of not wanting to be an inconvenience to anyone – even in pregnancy.
…
His response was one that I will never forget:
“No problem,” he said, “And if you need to be done earlier than that, that’s ok too. The long-term sub will be here to step in whenever she’s needed.”

“Thank you,” I sighed, visibly relieved. “Please know that I’ll make sure sub plans are organized, and…”
“…And if they’re not,” he cut in, “then she’ll figure it out.”

Wait…really? I was blown away?.
It was exactly what I needed to hear – I just didn’t know it yet?.

***
The placental abruption happened one week later.  

There were never any sub plans.
***

To become a parent is to explore new depths of vulnerability. The first lesson I learned as a mom was perhaps the toughest:

I am not in control?.

I may keep the ship moving and direct the sails, but someone else is at the helm⚓️. To have a child is to give he or she over to God’s plan for their life, and that sure can be tough??.
…
As moms, we do everything in our power to ensure our children know, and feel, our love. We safeguard them to the best of our abilities – physically, mentally, and emotionally?? – but when it comes to really protecting them, only God can do that.
…
My husband and I were thrust into a parenting world of fragile procedures and dire statistics- one that gave us little choice but to pray, trust, and wait for what was coming next??. It was discouraging, disheartening, and, at times, infuriating?.

It was exactly what we needed?.  
…
You see, the problem with control is that it inherently lacks trust. By holding tight to the reins, we can’t leave room for a wiser, more experienced handler?.
…
Our experience taught us that relying on Him isn’t always easy, but it is always worth it. This truth presents itself in so many ways – big and small – when it comes to parenting. We trust Him with the physical well-being of our children, day in and day out, and as they get older we pray that He’ll help guide their hearts while they forge a path toward independence??. We provide a foundation to the best of our abilities, then we do our best to direct them down the path that He intends ➡️ – in much the same way He guides us, His children.

***
Had my orderly little rug not been ripped right out from under me 3 ½ years ago, I don’t know that I would have ever truly understood the freedom of “letting Go, and letting God.” That’s not to say it isn’t a conscious decision we have to make as parents – over, and over, and over again – especially when the path He’s chosen for our children isn’t the one we would have chosen for them ourselves, when it’s painful, or uncertain?.
.
When Owen was 3 months old, his brain bleeds required permanent intervention to keep the cerebral spinal fluid flowing?. His Neurosurgeon– the head of the entire department at Cincinnati Children’s Hospital – performed a typical VP shunt insertion; but what is usually a 3-4 hour procedure, turned into a 9 hour surgery⏱?.  
…
They tried, over and over again, to insert an additional catheter into our little guy’s 4th ventricle at the base of his cerebellum – the greatest source of his cerebral swelling – but to no avail. Eventually, they called it, and decided the only option would be to try again when he was older. At the time, we were frustrated to hear part of the procedure had been unsuccessful, and disappointed at the prospect of another surgery down the road?.  
…
Fast forward three years, and the Neurosurgery team felt the time was right. We scheduled a shunt revision surgery, and the 4th ventricle catheter was successfully inserted – no issue??.
…
Four days later, the doctors were stumped?. Owen’s shunt system appeared to be shutting down. He was rushed back into surgery to address shunt malfunction?. When the Neurosurgeon emerged hours later, he explained that Owen’s situation was one he had never seen before, and truly couldn’t explain. They were required to rework the entire shunt system in a totally new way, and if it wasn’t successful, we would be looking at months in the hospital while they devised a new plan?.
…
But it worked – I’m not sure who was more pleasantly surprised.???
We went home three days later.
…
Ironically, enough, we did end up back at the hospital?. A risk with any major surgery is infection, and Owen developed a pretty significant one: staph?. The entire shunt system was removed, replaced, and externalized outside of his body. We spent a month in the hospital while his body was slowly flushed of the toxins?; the shunt system was reestablished.
…
Looking back, I am overwhelmed by the suffering my baby had to endure?, but I’m also blown away by God’s timing, and His evident plan??.
…
Had the 4th ventricle insertion been successful when Owen was only 3 months old, his little body could have never endured all that it did at age 3. God’s been with us every step of the way??. He’s answered our prayers, though not always in the way we might have anticipated. We’ve had to trust, and trust, and then trust some more??.
…

I’ve spent the last three years being my son’s advocate, his cheerleader, and his voice??. I’ve been convinced that God gave me more than I could handle on more than one occasion – after all, I’m Mom to two boys?‍❤️‍?, not just one. But He continues to provide, and He continues to teach me how to let go.
…
This year the boys started preschool. Owen has a 1:1 aide, and a whole host of people on his school team who love my little guy as much as I do. He’s grown in every sense of the word.
…
At our most recent therapy session, I had both boys with me. Owen was beside himself?, upset at the prospect of hard work that his physical therapist was dangling before him. Meanwhile, his brother had decided that listening to directions was optional that day?‍♀️.
We were a hot mess?‍♀️.
I left that morning with a whole host of apologies, and a fresh dose of humility?.
…
We’re not meant to have all the control, Mamas.

We’re just meant to do the best we can in the moment, and then leave the rest up to Him. I’m learning to trust that – which might just be the greatest way I can show my love and faithfulness to a God who loves me, His child, as much as I love mine?.
…
There’s beauty in embracing everything motherhood has to offer, but I hope you find that the letting go can be pretty magical too.


? Jen

 

Soaking In the Truth

Scripture to encourage you:

  • “There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven: A time to embrace, and a time to refrain” (Ecclesiastes 3:1,5b).
  • “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayers and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 4:6-7).
  • “Ask and it will be given to you, seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you” (Matthew 7: 7).
  • “Surely, as I have planned, so it will be, and as I have purposed, so it will stand” (Isaiah 14:24).
  • “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future” (Jeremiah 29:11).

Music to inspire you:

  • Find Your Wings, by Mark Harris
  • Cinderella, by Steven Curtis Chapman
  • I Am, by Nichole Nordeman

Readings and Resources to come alongside of you:

  • Podcast- “For the Love,“ with Jen Hatmaker:
    For the Love of Parenting – Episode 02
    Parenting Through All Stages: When to Hold On & When to Let Go, with Dr. Jim Burns
  • Article-
    Entrusting Your Children to the God of the Impossible

Related posts on Texting the Truth:

  • Good Enough
  • In Changing Phases: A Time to Mourn and a Time to Dance
  • Mom Win Wednesday: Kristi Krawec

Living Out the Truth

Ideas to try:

  • Start small. The balance between holding on and letting go can be a very fine line. Try to pick your battles, and take advantage of “teachable moments.” Let your children learn and experience, while also knowing that you’re there to guide them.
  • Embrace a family motto. We’ve been giving it a try recently, and I’ve found personal comfort in knowing that my kids have an easy reminder of what’s most important to “carry” with them wherever they go. In our family it’s, “Do your best, and give God the rest.”
  • Try a daily devotional with your kids, or a collection of Bible stories to share at bedtime. Check out some of our favorites in the Treasured Product lists below.

Treasured products we love:

  • Music for Kids
  • DVDs for Children
  • Elementary/Tween Books
  • Parenting Books
  • Parenting Resources

{These suggestions are ideas from novice moms. Sometimes our life situations need more.  In that case, seeking out professional help is the right call.}

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We don’t claim to have motherhood figured out. Actually quite the opposite. We’re a group of women who first and foremost love the Lord and want to honor Him with our lives and talents. And we decided that what better way for us to sort out this beautiful and messy thing called motherhood but to process it together in text messages? Our prayer is that as we share our real-life stories and honest experiences, every mom who visits our blog will receive tangible truth and experience real grace.

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